INTJs will argue with you less. ISFJs will wait forever for you to ask. Explore how every personality type acts when they’re into you – and when they’re definitely not.
What’s Coming Up
- Key Takeaways
- Why Decoding a Crush Is So Hard
- Signs an Analyst Personality Type Is Into You
- Signs a Diplomat Personality Type Is Into You
- Signs a Sentinel Personality Type Is Into You
- Signs an Explorer Personality Type Is Into You
- But Do You “Like” Like This Article?
- Frequently Asked Questions
- Further Reading
Key Takeaways
- There’s no foolproof way to tell if someone is into you – except asking them. Personality type can still offer some playful clues about how attraction tends to show up.
- Analyst personality types often flirt through debate and attention. An INTJ who disagrees with you less than usual, or an INTP who keeps asking your opinion, may be more interested than they let on.
- Diplomat personality types tend to show interest through gestures and time. Think anonymous love notes from INFPs, six-hour first dates with ENFJs, or an ENFP laughing at every one of your jokes.
- Sentinel personality types are slow to flirt but serious when they do. ISTJs and ISFJs may need you to make the first move, while ESFJs will ask for a second date before the first one ends.
- Explorer personality types range from subtle to spectacular. An ISTP tolerating your company is a compliment, while an ESFP may literally hire a skywriter.
Why Decoding a Crush Is So Hard
“How do I know if someone’s into me?”
Oh boy. This is a question we get from you, our readers, all the time. You ask us if that INTJ (Architect) classmate of yours is being rude or trying (not very successfully, it seems) to flirt. And what about that ENFP (Campaigner) from work – are they that friendly with everyone, or might they be especially interested in you?
To be honest, the best reply to these questions is probably, “Just ask them.” You can beg all your friends for advice, search the internet for hours, and write a 50-page dissertation on that last text message you got from your crush (“k thanks later”???) – and still have no idea how they feel about you.
But you already knew that, right? And if it were so easy to just walk up to someone and say, “Hey, do you like me?” – well, we all probably would have done that already, thank you very much.
So, with that in mind, here are our (very tongue-in-cheek) top tips on how to tell if someone is into you, by personality type.
Signs an Analyst Personality Type Is Into You
Analysts – the Intuitive, Thinking personality types – tend to treat flirting like a hypothesis that needs testing. This Role includes the Introverted INTJs and INTPs (Logicians) and the ExtravertedENTJs (Commanders) and ENTPs (Debaters). INTJs and ENTJs share the Judging trait, while INTPs and ENTPs are Prospecting personalities.
INTJs
If they’re into you: You’ll have a sneaking suspicion that they disagree with you less than they do with other people. You may also occasionally catch them looking at you when they think you’re not paying attention.
If they’re not into you: Uh, trust us, you’ll know.
INTPs
If they’re into you: They’ll ask for your opinion on various topics, from climate change to abstract art to Southeast Asian history. You may feel weirdly flattered by their attention, even if you’re not totally sure why.
If they’re not into you: They’ll forget your name, even if you’ve already met 10 times.
ENTJs
If they’re into you: Don’t worry, they’ll ask you out. They may suggest a first date that shows off their skills or their surprisingly good taste – perhaps an outing to the archery range or dinner at some awesome restaurant that you’ve never heard of.
If they’re not into you: They’ll poke fun at you. And, because it all seems good-natured enough to them, they won’t understand why you get upset.
ENTPs
If they’re into you: They’ll disagree with everything you say, just to get a rise out of you.
If they’re not into you: They’ll disagree with everything you say, just to get a rise out of you.
Signs a Diplomat Personality Type Is Into You
Diplomats – the Intuitive, Feeling personality types – are the romantics of the bunch, whether or not they’ll admit it. This Role includes the Introverted INFJs (Advocates) and INFPs (Mediators) and the Extraverted ENFJs (Protagonists) and ENFPs. INFJs and ENFJs share the Judging trait, while INFPs and ENFPs are Prospecting personalities.
INFJs
If they’re into you: They’ll give you a copy of their favorite book and say, “I know you’ll really like this” – even though you’ve never told them anything about your taste in books.
If they’re not into you: They’ll judge you so hard if they find out you don’t recycle batteries. (Seriously, though, you should.)
INFPs
If they’re into you: Let’s just say that anonymous love notes will be involved. And yes, those notes will be written in rhyming verse.
If they’re not into you: If you ask them out, they’ll have a really, really, really hard time saying no. In fact, they may marry you just so they never have to let you down.
ENFJs
If they’re into you: They’ll ask you on a first date that will last approximately six hours. At a minimum, expect to visit a museum, climb a mountain, and volunteer at a soup kitchen.
If they’re not into you: They’ll set you up with someone else. “Trust me,” they’ll say, “I’m really good at this.”
ENFPs
If they’re into you: They’ll want to spend as much time with you as possible, even if that means tagging along while you run errands. Also, even if you tell a joke that isn’t particularly funny, they’ll laugh so hard they start crying.
If they’re not into you: They’ll still want to be your friend.
Signs a Sentinel Personality Type Is Into You
Sentinels – the Observant, Judging personality types – don’t do casual. This Role includes the Introverted ISTJs (Logisticians) and ISFJs (Defenders) and the Extraverted ESTJs (Executives) and ESFJs (Consuls). ISTJs and ESTJs share the Thinking trait, while ISFJs and ESFJs are Feeling personalities.
ISTJs
If they’re into you: It might take them a while to ask you out, but they will. And when they do, they’ll put a surprising (and touching) amount of effort into that first date. If they take you to a museum, for example, you’d better believe they’ve already read the exhibition catalog and can quote it verbatim.
If they’re not into you: Don’t worry, they won’t lead you on. At all. No coy smiles, no accidentally brushing your arm, nothing. Flirting is more or less a foreign language to these types.
ISFJs
If they’re into you: They will wait so, so, so patiently for you to ask them out. Seriously, you’ll need to make the first move on this one.
If they’re not into you: You’ll catch them side-eyeing the clutter in your car/purse/backpack/office/etc. Yes, they’re judging you.
ESTJs
If they’re into you: They’ll give you a PowerPoint presentation about your potential relationship, including a slide titled “Mutual Benefits.”
If they’re not into you: You might catch them acting as if they’re your boss – even if you don’t work for them.
ESFJs
If they’re into you: You won’t have to guess. These are the personality types who’ll ask you on a second date 10 minutes into the first date.
If they’re not into you: They might rope you into a group outing so they can spend time with the person who is actually the object of their affection.
Signs an Explorer Personality Type Is Into You
Explorers – the Observant, Prospecting personality types – like to keep things interesting, and that includes you. This Role includes the Introverted ISTPs (Virtuosos) and ISFPs (Adventurers) and the Extraverted ESTPs (Entrepreneurs) and ESFPs (Entertainers). ISTPs and ESTPs share the Thinking trait, while ISFPs and ESFPs are Feeling personalities.
ISTPs
If they’re into you: They’ll tolerate your presence – and maybe even seem to enjoy it.
If they’re not into you: They may walk away while you’re talking to them. Try not to take it personally.
ISFPs
If they’re into you: They’ll be kind and perhaps even warm toward you, but they won’t really open up until you paint pottery together.
If they’re not into you: They’ll avoid painting pottery with you as graciously and kindly as they can.
ESTPs
If they’re into you: They’ll do their best to impress you – without making it super obvious that they’re trying to impress you, of course. They might put extra effort into their appearance, pick up the tab whenever you’re out together, or tell you all about the supercool thing they did last weekend.
If they’re not into you: They’ll ask you for an introduction to your friend/classmate/business associate.
ESFPs
If they’re into you: Expect some big gestures: fireworks, skywriting, horseback rides on the beach. But don’t be surprised if they show up late for nearly all your get-togethers.
If they’re not into you: They’ll still act like having a conversation with you is the highlight of their day, and they might even flirt a little, but – sorry to say – there won’t be any skywriting.
But Do You “Like” Like This Article?
Well, readers, what do you think? Do any of these tongue-in-cheek personality descriptions ring true? And how do you act when you’re into someone? Let us know in the comments section!
Comments
Please to join the discussion.