Key Takeaways
- Courage cannot exist without fear. The point is to act despite apprehension, not to wait for it to disappear.
- INFJs rate their own bravery below most personality types. Only 59% consider themselves brave, compared with 74% of all respondents – a gap that may say more about idealistic standards than about actual courage.
- INFJ courage shows up most reliably in matters of fairness and justice. Their Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging traits combine into a strong sense of right and wrong that can override fear.
- Risk aversion and fear of failure are the main brakes on INFJ bravery. INFJs are among the most risk-averse personality types, and they worry more than most about losing the people they love.
- Courage grows like a muscle, through small repeated acts. Cataloging fears, stretching the comfort zone, practicing authenticity, and rehearsing hard conversations all build it over time.
Editor’s note: This article was first published in March 2021 and the figures in it reflect the results of an early community survey, which asked respondents whether they consider themselves brave. For more complete and more recent data on how personality shapes fear and risk-taking, see the results of our “Fear” survey in “How Fear Shapes Behavior Across Personality Types: A Study.”
Bravery 101
“We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.”
Courage is not an absence of fear. It’s doing what one must do despite its presence. Courage doesn’t exist without apprehension, because the absence of fear would leave no reason for there to be courage. Without fear, there would be nothing to distinguish courage from. So fear is essential to courage.
Those who want to build their courage must build it like a muscle. In other words, to become a person of courage, all one must do is a series of courageous deeds. The wise person starts with easier challenges and then adds weight by testing courage in more demanding ways. The main point is that courage can be developed by everyone and anyone.
Our premise here is that every personality type has something that is easy for them to be courageous about, but each type also has some challenges to overcome in being brave.
The INFJ Stereotype
It might surprise some readers to discover where people with the INFJ personality type (Advocates) – who are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging personalities – fell on a research poll that stated, “You consider yourself a brave person.” While a majority (59%) of INFJs agreed with this statement, the average rate of endorsement among all respondents was 74%. This leaves INFJs fourth from the bottom of all 16 personality types.
INFJs are often portrayed as individuals who are quietly outspoken when it comes to all matters of fairness and justice. In our list of “Advocates You May Know,” we feature Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, and Mother Teresa. There’s not a shrinking violet in the bunch. Of course, many factors other than their four personality traits can come into play before a social warrior finds courage. Environment and upbringing come to mind.
These shining examples of moral courage may influence the way many of us think about INFJs. It might not be reasonable to yoke all INFJs with the burden of being champions for social change that even come close to the three we mention here. Many INFJs probably see some part of themselves as humble and less ambitious cousins of these examples.
INFJs, Courage, the Theory, and the Research
INFJs’ personality trait cards are stacked in their favor when it comes to a sense of right and wrong. Their Intuitive trait helps them visualize better alternatives. This type’s Feeling trait drives their compassion. They possess the Judging trait, which gives them an appreciation for consistency. Together, these traits instill a strong conviction about fairness in the typical INFJ.
Right and wrong apply to everyone equally in the eyes of INFJs. Unfairness is an inconsistency that goes against their Judging tendencies. Justice and fairness are likely to be the context where their bravery shines.
When thinking about INFJs describing their own courage, it might help to keep in mind that these personalities are idealists. As idealists, they may exaggerate the insufficiency of their courage because they perceive that they’re not living up to the impossible standards that idealists sometimes set for themselves. An objective observer may detect something different. When INFJs report that they don’t consider themselves brave, they may not possess an accurate metric for use in measuring courage. Are they social-justice-warrior-of-legend brave? Few are.
When INFJs have a clear purpose and a sense of mission, they can fiercely take on injustice without letting the fear that they experience rule them. For example, these personalities are slightly more likely than average to say they have defended someone against a bully. (However, INFJs are less likely than most to say they have stood up for themselves against such personal tyrants.)
You may want to explore another aspect of your courage with our Confidence Test. How confident are you, and what does confidence mean to you?
But then we have the other side of the coin.
Our research suggests that INFJs are one of the most risk-averse personality types. Often courage is nothing but taking risks and jumping in without knowing the full consequences of one’s actions. “Taking a chance” always includes some bravery.
INFJs are well below average in saying that they enjoy activities that others would call extreme. They are the third-most likely personality type to say they cannot have fun unless they feel safe. Predictability is somewhat foundational to INFJs’ thoughts, actions, and attitudes. Risk is nothing if not the absence of a guarantee that things will turn out as expected or as they should.
These Introverts value the people in their lives, and they worry about losing friends and family more than most other personality types do. Perhaps consequently, INFJs are also slightly less likely than most to show their fear to others. So, what if an INFJ takes a stand for someone who is both unpopular and a victim of unfair treatment? Can it lead to the loss of respect from friends and family? If so, INFJs seem more likely to play it safe. These “safe” behaviors may not always support an INFJ’s sense of self.
INFJs are also one of the most likely personality types to say that fear of failure stops them from acting in some situations. Anxiety about being a failure slows most people down to some degree. When we define courage as being impossible without fear, then fear of failure is also an opportunity to muster and display courage in the presence of fear.
These personalities also tend to report worrying more than most other types do. We don’t want to lose sight of how deeply INFJs tend to care about things. Worrying and caring are similar, but worrying is probably more fear-based than caring is. Some INFJs likely blend the two.
INFJs report that they worry about upsetting others to a greater degree than most types do. They worry more than others about becoming ill, about other people taking advantage of them, about growing old, and about loneliness, and they are more likely than most to say that once they start worrying, they find it tough to stop.
None of this means that INFJs inherently lack bravery. Plenty of INFJs agree with pro-courage research statements. Those who describe themselves as fearful in one area may have a tremendous amount of courage elsewhere. There’s nothing universal about INFJ fear – or, for that matter, courage. As always, this is about tendencies and not absolutes. While one size might be similar enough to be significant and valuable, absolute one-size-fits-all is rare in the study of personality.
INFJs can increase their courage and counter fears simply by doing a series of small, courageous acts. They likely need to address the concerns and fears that they have about the people who are important to them as part of their courage-building regimen.
Courage Building for INFJs (and Most Everyone Else)
Here are a few suggestions to get an INFJ personality type (or anybody) on the road to a more courageous life. Baby steps are not only fine with this endeavor but also recommended if small advances feel right for you.
Awareness of Your Fears
Some fears jump out at us as brazenly as lions in a savanna. Others cause subtle anxiety yet still have the power to stop us from doing the things we need to do. With the latter, we may not even have a sense of what is vexing us.
So you may want to take time to acquaint yourself with all your fears – the sneaky fears as well as the more obvious lionlike variety. Cataloging your fears is a practical first step to dealing with them. The quiet fears skulking around in your life almost unnoticed can sometimes be the most insidious.
Keep in mind that some fears are reasonable. So, as you make your list, decide which fears are helpful. The fear of going down a dark street alone in an unfamiliar neighborhood in a sketchy part of town may be a fear that keeps you safe. Fear of rejection from an acquaintance at work may have fewer consequences, should the worst come to pass.
Consider your internal fears: it’s helpful to know both your friends and your enemies when it comes to such matters.
Decide which fears you’re going to face and how you’re going to do it. (Safety first, always.)
How likely are you to persist despite your fears? Find out more about your ability to push through using our Resilience and Grit Test.
Expand Your Comfort Zone
Comfort zones serve a valuable purpose. We all need a place to rest and recharge without the same sort of challenges that we often face in the world beyond our comfort zones. But we can enlarge the boundaries of our zones in small ways. Doing so doesn’t have to be an act that seems life-changing. And something that doesn’t sound life-changing may change your life. If your stomach gets a little queasy at the thought of reciting your poetry at an open-mic night, that might be just the thing to do to broaden your comfort zone.
Or set up a monthly challenge. Consult your list of fears from the last section and choose something that you’re willing to do that’s realistic yet challenging for the next 30 days. Find something that you can do to make yourself feel just a bit uncomfortable every day. For example, vow to have a conversation with a different person you’ve never talked to much – such as someone at work or school or a neighbor – each day for a month. (Remember baby steps. Nothing too dire is required. And always remember reasonable safety.)
Being more comfortable with discomfort can come in handy when you find yourself needing to face your fears and exercise your courage.
Decide how you’re going to be deliberately uncomfortable, at least occasionally.
Seek Authenticity
Consider how many times you’ve hedged or done something that you would have preferred not to do to keep someone you care about happy. Decide instead that you will be honest with the people in your life about your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it takes a little bravery to ask for what you want or need.
Choosing to be more authentic is a good place to start because you don’t just get to exercise your courage. You may also make a greater impact on the world and in your life simply by insisting on being who you are.
Decide how many people in your life you can help by being an example of authenticity.
Practice, Practice, Practice
Some acts of courage you can’t rehearse, but many you can. You can rehearse asking your boss for a raise by talking into a mirror or role-playing with a friend. You can practice asking someone out on a date. How many challenging things can you try out in the safety of your home first? For inspiration, look for examples of others who have done similar things. Get someone you trust to coach you. But don’t leave it there. Once you’ve rehearsed, the time has come to step out on the stage and act.
Everything is a lot easier when you feel prepared, but don’t depend on a sense of confidence to move forward.
Decide how much prep you need to face and conquer a fear.
Who’s Afraid of a Little Fear?
Answer: Most of us are. Everybody suffers from some fear. Fear can even be a reasonable thing to experience. Sometimes it warns us away, but at other times, it holds us at bay.
For an INFJ personality type, facing fear may mean a lot more than just becoming braver. It may mean the difference in their relationships and their goals in life. Not every INFJ has to be a famous champion for social justice, but we’re all capable of creating some courageous differences in our humble corner of the world.
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