INFJ Personality (“The Advocate”)

The INFJ personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world. As Diplomats, they have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is the accompanying Judging (J) trait – INFJs are not idle dreamers, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact.

INFJs tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all.
INFJ personality

Help Me Help You

INFJs indeed share a unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and strong-willed, but will rarely use that energy for personal gain – INFJs will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance. Egalitarianism and karma are very attractive ideas to INFJs, and they tend to believe that nothing would help the world so much as using love and compassion to soften the hearts of tyrants.

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.

Martin Luther King

INFJs find it easy to make connections with others, and have a talent for warm, sensitive language, speaking in human terms, rather than with pure logic and fact. It makes sense that their friends and colleagues will come to think of them as quiet Extraverted types, but they would all do well to remember that INFJs need time alone to decompress and recharge, and to not become too alarmed when they suddenly withdraw. INFJs take great care of other’s feelings, and they expect the favor to be returned – sometimes that means giving them the space they need for a few days.

Live to Fight Another Day

Really though, it is most important for INFJs to remember to take care of themselves. The passion of their convictions is perfectly capable of carrying them past their breaking point and if their zeal gets out of hand, they can find themselves exhausted, unhealthy and stressed. This becomes especially apparent when INFJs find themselves up against conflict and criticism – their sensitivity forces them to do everything they can to evade these seemingly personal attacks, but when the circumstances are unavoidable, they can fight back in highly irrational, unhelpful ways.

To INFJs, the world is a place full of inequity – but it doesn’t have to be. No other personality type is better suited to create a movement to right a wrong, no matter how big or small. INFJs just need to remember that while they’re busy taking care of the world, they need to take care of themselves, too.

Advocates You May Know

Miranda K
3 years ago
Hello. I'm seventeen years old. I'm an INFJ, but my F trait is kind of weak. I am very empathetic and creative, but at the same time I feel kind of uncomfortable showing lots of emotion. That could have something to do with my upbringing though. My younger brother was REALLY emotional, and as the oldest I felt like I kind of had to compensate by being super responsible and mature. I'm on my third semester of dual-enrollment at a community college, and I've really noticed some aspects of my personality come out like I've never seen before. I have had an easy time making friends, which is super nice because I've always been rather introverted and kind of a loner. I'm also the president of the college's creative writing club (which is actually exciting instead of stressful). I've never felt like a super likable and friendly person until now. Of course, when I come home all I want to do is crash. Anyway, I just wanted to know if any of you INFJ's have experienced the same sort of thing. :) Thanks in advance, Mira
Kerri
3 years ago
After you graduate, the extra curricular activities you had may be the most significant. It is certainly all a juggle at this point to find a balance, but the more open you are about when and why you need time to recharge, the more sincere your relationships will be. I think back to when I was in school and by some miracle I was invited to be an executive on the snowboard club. I am incredibly grateful for the friendships I made, but can now see how much confidence it gave me to take on a leadership role, even though I never would have sought it out.
Miranda K
3 years ago
Thanks for getting back to me, Kerri! It certainly has been a challenge to make time for myself to recharge! My mum is a INFP, so she understands most of the time when I say I have to stay home instead of going out. What she doesn't get is how I feel almost (dare I say it?) extravert-ish at school sometimes. I guess that's more of an INFJ thing, though...? The same sort of thing happened to me with the writing club- the sponsor of the club (my creative writing professor from last semester) actually came up to me and asked me if I would please be president of the club. That was probably the only way I could get that sort of role. :)
Michelle
3 years ago
After having an emotional breakdown today about how I feel like I am not living my fullest life and being unhappy about it, my 25 year old son, sent me the link to this website. I just thanked him for listening and directing me here. I now know why I have felt this way since I was 19 years old. I have been working in a corporate setting for over 25 years and my soul has been crying out for years. But lately the sound of its cry is getting extremely louder and I don't know how to calm it down. I want to break out and break away from the "norm" but the fear of lack has held me back. This test has shown me that I have to step out on faith and go for what I believe in and that's helping other people spiritually. I now know I am meant to serve in that capacity. I feel like a caged bird who has just been freed....... Thanks
Kerri
3 years ago
Your honesty is inspiring! Cheers to following our hearts!!
Heather
3 years ago
INFJ's (not just on this website) talk about being lonely a lot. I guess it was really hard during adolescence, but I kind of love the loneliness now. Being lost in my own mind is very comforting to me as an adult, just as it was when I was a small child. Learning to read, and getting lost in a great book, was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Miranda K
3 years ago
I definitely hear you on that one. :) Sometimes its great to be your own best friend.
Penny
2 years ago
Yup.... Even though it sounds sad :)
Steve Bellows
3 years ago
Nice group to be associated with!
Sally
3 years ago
Does anyone else think that this personality type can be incredibly lonely? I don't mean to whine or sound arrogant, but in all my life as an INFJ, I have not found anyone else to be as altruistic or as concerned with comforting, etc. as I tend to be, and therefore the generosity, comfort, etc. doesn't tend to be reciprocated very well. If any other INFJs have had this experience and found a wise way to handle it, I would love to see your reply!
Anonymous
3 years ago
Yes, incredibly lonely.
Micah M.
3 years ago
Hello, Sally! I too have spent a lifetime feeling lonely as an INFJ. This is what's led me to my current career as a clinical counselor. At the core of me, I've wanted to help others avoid the lonliness I've felt-- I wouldn't even wish it on my enemies (not to sound dramatic, but I literally mean that). I don't know if my way of dealing with this lonliness could be considered "wise", but it's been working. I've lowered my standards a bit. Ive accepted that I share my personality with only about 1% of the world, which slims my chances of finding someone like myself down to nearly none. I've trained myself to relish in even the briefest moments of connection with others. I use those moments for fuel and savor them-- but I don't expect them too often. This way, when they come, they're always delightful gifts. In the meantime I fill my love tank with my passions: thinking deeply, writing, learning, biking, serving. I think I'm making it out okay so far. I'm hoping and praying that you are able to as well. That lonliness is such a formidable thing. It can loom over us so ominously and pervasively.
Anonymous
3 years ago
This may be over simplifying the issue, but something I've found in my own personal life is that your soulmate doesn't have to be the same type as you, or even interested in exactly the same thing. I'm an INFJ and my husband is a total ENFP....the thing I love most about him is his passion. He is absolutely in love with life and every one of his interests is approached with such joy and passion! We don't share all of the same interests but what I love most is that he so deeply cares.
Ben
3 years ago
I do find that I'm looking out of a window at everyone else from time to time but to be fair I think it makes me unique rather than alone not in a big headed sense, and to help myself when things are a bit down I focus on a goal and put my thoughts and energy until i have achieved that and expand on ideas to gain more and more from the original aim in the first place :)
Keelie
3 years ago
I agree. Very lonely because no one really meets up to your expectations, no matter how much you want them to. The best thing to do is focus on not settling and keeping your ideals no matter what anyone else says. I find it easy to be manipulated because I trust people too easily when they promise me what I want. This sounds cynical, but keep in mind when soneone is telling you theyll comfort you or keep you a priority, make them prove it before you get too close. That reduces the likelihood of being hurt and gives them the opportunity to show you they value the things you value.
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