“The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.”
Advocates (INFJs) have a deep desire for authenticity and sincerity in everything they do – from their daily activities to their relationships. As a result, people with this personality type rarely settle for friendships of convenience. Rather than rely on superficial interactions with the people they see every day at work or school, they generally prefer to have a close circle of confidants.
Advocates tend to light up around friends who share their passions, interests, and beliefs. Few things give these personalities more pleasure than connecting with others over discussions about meaningful ideas and philosophies. Once Advocates know they can trust someone completely, they find it incredibly fulfilling to share their innermost thoughts, ideas, and feelings with them.
Searching for a Heart of Gold
Just as Advocates have high standards for themselves, they also have high standards for their friendships. They want to feel compatible with their friends on a deep level. In addition, Advocate personalities generally want to surround themselves with people who will inspire them to grow and improve. Most Advocates don’t just want to have fun with their friends – they also want to learn new things, make new discoveries, and deepen their bonds.
This is a tall order, and Advocates may feel that it’s difficult to meet the sort of friends they’re searching for. Because Advocates are a rare personality type, they may meet relatively few people who really remind them of themselves. As a result, they may feel as if they need to settle for less-than-fulfilling friendships or else accept being alone.
Fortunately, Advocates are more than capable of finding the types of friends they long to meet – they might just have to use their intuition to do so. In their quiet, understated way, Advocate personality types have a knack for seeing beyond appearances and understanding people’s deeper natures. They can use this ability to move past first impressions and figure out whether someone’s interests, values, and attitudes might be compatible with their own. By doing this, Advocates can befriend people who might seem totally different from them but who are compatible on a deeper level.
Loyalty and Authenticity
Advocates have a quiet determination that can be quite charismatic, and their ability to express themselves clearly and passionately can make them truly shine. At times, these traits may lead to unwanted attention and popularity for Advocates, who tend to be private.
Advocates may sometimes find themselves surrounded by people who want to impress them. Paradoxically, this can make it more difficult for people with this personality type to find friends with whom they feel a connection. After all, the only way to be counted among Advocates’ true friends is to be authentic, honest, and real.
Once they do find genuine friends, people with the Advocate personality type make loyal and caring companions. With their trademark warmth and enthusiasm, they support their friends’ efforts to grow and expand their lives. In general, Advocate personalities don’t require a great deal of day-to-day attention from their friends. For them, quality trumps quantity – and that includes the time they spend with their nearest and dearest.
As trust grows, Advocates tend to share more of their inner lives with their friends. If these revelations are met with acceptance and support, this can herald the sort of friendship that transcends time and distance, lasting a lifetime.
Over the years, Advocates may end up with just a few true friendships rather than a wide circle of casual acquaintances. But as long as those friendships are built on a richness of mutual understanding, Advocates wouldn’t have it any other way.