INFJ Friends

There is a running theme with INFJs, and that is a yearning for authenticity and sincerity – in their activities, their romantic relationships, and their friendships. People with the INFJ personality type are unlikely to go for friendships of circumstance, like workplace social circles or chatting up their local baristas, where the only thing they really have in common is a day-to-day familiarity. Rather, INFJs seek out people who share their passions, interests and ideologies, people with whom they can explore philosophies and subjects that they believe are truly meaningful.

INFJ friends

Closed Book and Speed Reader

From the start, it can be a challenge to get to know INFJs, as they are very private, even enigmatic. INFJs don’t readily share their thoughts and feelings, not unless they are comfortable, and since those thoughts and feelings are the basis for INFJ friendships, it can take time and persistence to get to know them. Meanwhile, INFJs are very insightful and have a particular knack for seeing beyond others’ facades, interpreting intent and compatibility quickly and easily, and weeding out those who don’t share the depth of their idealism.

In friendship it is as though INFJs are searching for a soul mate, someone who shares every facet of their passions and imagination.

INFJs are often perfectionistic, looking for ultimate compatibility, and yet also look for someone with whom they can grow and improve in tandem. Needless to say, this is a tall order, and INFJs should try to remember that they are a particularly rare personality type, and even if they find someone compatible in that sense, the odds that they will also share every interest are slim. If they don’t learn to meet others halfway and recognize that the kind of self-improvement and depth they demand is simply exhausting for many types, INFJs are likely end up abandoning healthy friendships in their infancy, in search of more perfect compatibilities.

Like Finding a Needle in a Haystack

Further complicating things are INFJs’ eloquence and persuasiveness, which lead to a lot of (unwanted) attention and popularity. Their quiet, determined idealism and imaginative expression naturally draw influence, and if there’s anything INFJs avoid, it’s the accumulation of power over others – and the people who are drawn to that type of power. INFJs will find themselves more sought after than they’d ever care to be, making it even more difficult for them to find someone they truly have an affinity with. Really the only way to be counted among INFJs’ true friends is to be authentic, and to have that authenticity naturally reflect their own.

Once a common thread is found though, people with the INFJ personality type make loyal and supportive companions, encouraging growth and life-enriching experiences with warmth, excitement and care. As trust grows, INFJs will share more of what lies beneath the surface, and if those ideas and motives are mutual, it’s the sort of friendship that will transcend time and distance, lasting a lifetime. INFJs don’t require a great deal of day-to-day attention – for them, quality trumps quantity every time, and over the years they will likely end up with just a few true friendships, built on a richness of mutual understanding that forges an indelible link between them.

2 months ago
This seems to describe me too much, the crave for friendships that are genuine and full of similar passions or interests is so rare for me to find. Every person I tried to communicate with have only given me small talk, like many introverts, I dislike this, because there is no depth to conversations. Because of this, I have left all my past superficial "friendships" and am now stuck with myself alone in my mind, in my imagination. Though the trouble of fitting into groups, and people finding ME uninteresting just because I don't do small talk, (I'm a high school student) have caused me to lower my self-esteem and go through depression. But you what they say, it's the friendships AFTER high school that count. Reaching out to others who can relate, cause I know I've related to those who have spoken out. THERE IS HOPE! :)
7 months ago
This is so true!
1 year ago
I do think that I'm outgoing but I don't like what you call "fake friends".
1 year ago
I agree with everything this is saying, as this is pretty much 100% me, except for the fact that I'm popular. My older sister is an ENFJ, which makes it very hard for people to even notice me. Always I find myself literally shouting multiple times simply for someone to hear my voice in a small group, and eventually I just give up. it seems when my sister is around, I don't have an audible voice. :/
Natalie
1 year ago
This is so accurate!
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