Key Takeaways
- INFJs are among the most stress-prone personality types. Their habit of carrying other people’s problems alongside their own leaves them feeling overwhelmed more often than most.
- Mistakes linger for INFJs long after the moment has passed. They struggle more than any other type to let go of past slipups, especially ones made in front of others.
- Competition works against the INFJ need for harmony. Cutthroat environments and even friendly rivalry can leave them tense, depleted, and tempted to sacrifice their own success for others.
- Social injustice feels personal to INFJs. News of suffering or unfairness moves them to act, and when they can’t fix the problem, frustration and stress follow.
- Unpredictability unsettles INFJs more than any other type. Their preference for planning and their perfectionistic streak make sudden changes feel like starting over from scratch.
Editor’s note: This article was first published in 2022, and its survey figures date from that time. For our latest look at how stress plays out across all 16 personality types, see How Personality Shapes the Way We Handle Stress: A Study.
Why INFJs Feel Stress So Deeply
If you often lie awake at night thinking over life’s stresses, you might have the INFJ personality type (Advocate) – which means you have the Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging traits. People with this personality type tend to worry about the problems of the world and the people around them. Add those worries to their own personal stress, and it’s clear that INFJs can be a frazzled bunch.
Our survey results back up this notion. For example:
- We’ve found that 77% of INFJs often feel overwhelmed by life, significantly above average.
- The vast majority of INFJs (91%) say they have a constant nagging feeling about all the things that they need to get done, compared to a 76% average among all personality types.
- INFJs are one of the least likely types to say they handle difficult situations better than others.
For many with this personality type, though, stress is just a product of how much they tirelessly care. But without a bit of balance, their concerns can create an avalanche of stress. To avoid this overwhelm, it helps to pinpoint the root causes of stress. Here are some of the biggest stress triggers that INFJs should watch out for.
INFJ Stress Trigger #1: Making Mistakes
INFJs hold themselves – and others – to high standards. Guided by their morals and values, they always want to do the “right” thing. And they can feel deeply troubled by their own slipups.
People with this personality type aren’t likely to keep calm and carry on after making a mistake. Instead, they may feel regretful long after a deed is done. In fact, the majority of INFJs (more than any other type) say they struggle to let go of past mistakes.
INFJs get stressed when they let others down, and the embarrassment of making a mistake in public can be overwhelming for these Introverts. More than other personality types, INFJs say it takes a while to recover after making a mistake in front of family, a friend, or a crowd.
Though they may stress out about making mistakes, we all know that no one’s perfect. For principled INFJs, mistakes don’t have to be seen as all bad. Instead, they can view their blunders as valuable opportunities for growth.
INFJ Stress Trigger #2: Competition
Competition might motivate some personality types, but it does the opposite for most INFJs. In fact, it can be downright stressful. People with this personality type thrive in cooperative environments. They combine their emotional sensitivities with their trademark altruism to bring harmony and equality to any environment. So when INFJs are in a situation where they’re asked to compete with others, they quickly tense up.
Simply put, competitiveness goes against many of the values that INFJs cherish. Cutthroat workplaces or even a classic sibling rivalry can leave people with this personality type feeling stressed and depleted. And being in opposition with others doesn’t come naturally to INFJs, who can, at times, have people-pleasing tendencies. In many cases, they may even sacrifice their own happiness to help others get ahead.
INFJs feeling stressed or anxious in a competitive environment don’t have to let go of their cooperativeness. But it’s okay to revel in personal success at times too. People with this personality type don’t always have to feel responsible for helping others get ahead – especially if it’s leading to stress and burnout.
INFJ Stress Trigger #3: Social Injustice
INFJs are one of the first personality types to say that the political is personal. People with this personality type feel deeply moved by others’ suffering. A debate on a social issue or a news story about a war can rock them to the core. That might be why 60% of INFJs say the news affects them negatively, compared to the average of 42%.
INFJs aren’t the only personality type to become stressed by social issues and injustices. But given the combination of their Feeling and Judging traits, they’re one of only a few who feel compelled to spring into action when something seems unfair. INFJs want to make a positive difference in the world. When they can’t, or if their attempts at taking action don’t go according to plan, they might feel frustrated and stressed.
Feeling upset by social injustice is likely a tendency that most INFJs don’t want to lose. It makes them who they are, and it keeps them on track with their personal principles. But trying to single-handedly save the world is stressful for anyone, regardless of their personality type. INFJs must take time to relax and recharge, allowing themselves an occasional break from tending to society’s issues.
INFJ Stress Trigger #4: Unpredictability
With their Judging trait, INFJs thrive when they can make plans in advance. Going with the flow is not their strong suit. Unsurprisingly, they can get stressed out by uncertainty and a lack of organization, and they’re the most likely personality type to say they feel really anxious in unpredictable situations. This feeling is especially common among Turbulent INFJs (INFJ-T), given their sensitivity to stress.
Whether they have a Turbulent or Assertive Identity, many INFJs have at least some perfectionistic tendencies. This perfectionism can make unpredictable situations even harder – it’s as if they have to go back to the drawing board when faced with an unexpected situation to decide how best to respond. Acting spontaneously and in ways that aren’t well thought-out only adds to the stress for INFJ personalities.
Using their closely held principles, people with this personality type want to make a positive impact in any given situation. But this can feel harder to do when things are unplanned. Still, not everything can be predicted, and wise INFJs know that a little chaos is just part of life. Trusting themselves to take the best course of action, even on a whim, is an invaluable skill. Remember, we can only do the best that we can with the resources and information that we have at that moment, and that’s okay.
Caring Without Crumbling: How INFJs Can Keep Stress in Check
INFJs’ propensity to live by their principles is a noble quality. But holding themselves to such high standards can create a lot of stress. And too much unchecked stress can lead to burnout for people with this personality type.
Becoming aware of common stress triggers is one of the best ways to stop overwhelm in its tracks. It’s crucial for INFJ personalities to remember that spreading themselves too thin or trying to meet perfectionistic ideals may only get in the way of the strengths that set them apart.
Frequently Asked Questions
Further Reading
- How Personality Shapes the Way We Handle Stress: A Study
- Assertive Advocate (INFJ-A) vs. Turbulent Advocate (INFJ-T)
- Stress Management Tips for Turbulent Advocates (INFJ-T): Self-Compassion in Chaos
- How Perfectionism Drives (and Drains) the INFJ Personality Type
- Why Last-Minute Changes Stress These Personality Types Out
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