A Halloween Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

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It’s Halloween night. The boulevard is tightly packed with revelers all dressed in costume. Fog machines and red lights give the dark street party a sinister feel. As they enjoy the evening and admire each other’s costumes, they have no idea that a devastating virus is infecting those around them.

At first, many wonder if the man dragging his foot and biting the arm of a woman in a Yoda mask is part of a street theater presentation. That theory collapses as the woman in the Yoda mask rises from the ground, rips off her mask and attacks a Donald Trump look-a-like. In turn, he attacks a bearded female impersonator dressed as Wonder Woman. The chain reaction gains speed and soon half the crowd is attacking the other half. It becomes clear to anyone who watches TV that they are at ground zero of a zombie apocalypse. What are the uninfected to do?

Fortunately, those same television shows give the partiers-turned-survivors their next move. Since there is obviously power in numbers, they must form groups. That’s what they do on all the shows. Nobody wants to go it alone. However, as any fan of the Walking Dead also knows, they don’t want just anyone on their team. Unless they serve a purpose, they will hold everyone back.

During the mass transformation of humans to zombies, you may not find the time to log in to 16Personalities. However, each personality type will have what a team needs in this cataclysmic new world. So, here, as a public service, we provide a guide of things to remember about personality types when the zombie apocalypse erupts:

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A survival team wants to recruit Explorers from the very start. The whole world is going to change quickly and drastically, and Explorers eat change for breakfast. In fact, it’s among their favorite things, and they will likely handle the initial reaction as skillfully as anyone can under these peculiar circumstances.

The living are likely to experience a great deal of fear and confusion as the hordes of the undead descend on them. Our research suggests that fear does not inhibit Explorers to the degree it does others. Explorers also tend to “think on their feet.” Through gruesome trial and error, the inventive Explorers are the most likely to quickly work out the location of the vulnerable sweet spot that finally puts these tortured zombie souls out of their misery for good. In the early hours of a zombie apocalypse, decisive action is needed. Too much fear, and the initial battle will be lost. Explorers are an excellent choice to run the triage that replaces any emotional hemorrhaging with practical action. Since the world may be unpredictable for a while, they are also worth keeping around past the initial attacks.

After the shock wears off, the group will want to consider long-term plans. For this stage, Analysts will come in handy. Because Analysts are the strategic thinkers, they will develop a system of living that offers sustainability. They can help a community construct a rational system for survival.

Time will be of the essence and the need for protection will be great. Because of the urgency, the Analysts will not have the luxury of taking time to explore diverse ideas and to pick out the best of them as they are accustomed. However, they will have already been observing the mayhem throughout the countryside. The Analysts will have noticed the zombies’ herding style. They will have probably already noted what gets their attention. From this Analysts can pick the perfect spot to set up a defensible compound. They will probably develop a method to keep the undead outside the perimeter, and come up with an early warning system, should the perimeter be breached.

Once their team is relatively safe, Analysts will likely begin to explore ways to systematize daily life. A small leadership team will naturally form around them. This team may begin to divide the labor among the survivors. Some Analysts will be part of the leadership team. Those who aren’t will remain close by as advisers, helping the group find new ways to survive oncoming waves of the undead as new challenges arise.

Once the Analysts’ plans are accepted, someone needs to make it all work. Because of their sense of organization, some Sentinels will be among the leaders in this area. Someone also needs to oversee the inventory of food, weapons, and medicine. Work schedules need to be created. Sentinels are a natural choice to act as the administrators in these fledgling communities. They will know when supplies are low. They will know when to send the scavengers (probably Explorers) to visit the local abandoned grocery store.

Besides overseeing the basic needs of the group, Sentinels may also take the lead in organizing lessons for the young ones. They might also care for the old and infirm if that’s required. Some of them will also likely take the role of morale officers. The loyal Sentinels will be the people most concerned with keeping the group together. It will become the most important aspect of survival to the Sentinels. They will work to assure the group’s cohesiveness.

So, we now have a community bent on survival. All the pieces appear to be in place. But hold on... Apparently, there’s no need for the Diplomats? What practical skills do these dreamy visionaries have? Perhaps they should be left as zombie bait?

Ah, but as any fan of the zombie genre knows, there are times when the zombies are the least of anyone’s problems. Walking Dead fans don’t wait for the next season to discover what the zombies are up to. Zombies are as predictable as the moon’s phases. They’re just not very interesting. It’s the living that cause all the dramatic conflicts that draw the viewers back. The undead are nothing compared to the miscreant humans who lost their moral way in a world with no rules or boundaries.

Diplomats may play a softer but no less essential role. These human moral compasses will shine a light on their comrades when they have crossed the line. They will heroically remind their friends that survival at any cost is not survival. Diplomats are the conscience of the group. In a post-apocalyptic world, there are a lot of moral questions to consider. Diplomats will help maintain those ethics which civilized people value. They will keep their team elevated above an animal existence based solely on survival. They will strive to help everyone on their team become better people. They will help keep compassion on everybody’s radar.

So, now everyone should be ready to choose their teams when that terrible night comes. Who among the people you know will you recruit based on their personality traits? Choose carefully. And good luck. Happy Halloween.

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Comments

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Hilarious... the last thing I expected, but very helpful! Several times in the past I have drawn Zombie Apocalypse Contingency Plans. Who knows, maybe they'll come in handy... until then, I'll be gathering my group.
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This is amazing.
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Hehe. I love this article! I would choose my Explorer husband (ISTP), then the son of my good friend because he is the only Analyst I know in person (INTJ). After that, I will have plenty of Sentinels: the mother of said Analyst (ESFJ), my good ESTJ friend who is like a sister to me, my mother-in-law (ISFJ) and my father-in-law (ISTJ). And for Diplomats, we have myself (INFP/J) and my brother-in-law (INFJ).
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Oh I've just seen your comment. Thought you were in high school, sorry. XD
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I'm highly positive that INTP invented the strain, and INTJ is behind the apocalypse. Analysts may likely try to kill Diplomats, since they think the latter are weak ("survival at any cost isn't survival"), then the team may fall apart. You should establish a plan at the very first day of what to do when x situation happens, and make an agreement.
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The obvious solution is to avoid diplomats like the plague. Shouldn't be too difficult considering that they'll all likely die within an hour while trying to hug the zombies into submission.
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Agreed, we'll need 43 bunkers around the world to make sure they're well distributed. Someone get started on that.
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Just because we like harmony and a sense of hope/kindness doesn't make us a bunch of oblivious idiots. I can't stand stereotypical comments like this...
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Don't get upset over this, Naomi. These comments are stereotypical for the sake of being stereotypical. These analysts are just having fun.
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Oh good lord...Read carefully before you make a comment, please. With respect, I use 'may likely', and 'think'. No need to get so worked up over an obvious possibility that may occur, as seen from Analysts behaviour in the forum, it is highly possible that some Analysts may have the thought in mind. Nothing personal. It's just probability, and statistics. It doesn't mean 'all' Diplomats, or Analysts have to fall into the given scenario, as the function space in the context is 'some', 'all' is impossible to be applied to the situation. I'm sure you'll learn about it in high school later on. Most Analysts know better than to kill a Diplomat, because they themselves are prone to pressure, and depression. It's zombie apocalypse, anyway. Killing the Diplomat in the team will render it dangerously susceptible to internal conflict. Chaos ensues. Death soon follows. Everyone dies. TL;DR You are overreacting. It's just a speculation. A possibility taken from observing Analysts, and being Analysts myself. Some Diplomats can be over sensitive, while some Analysts can be down right degrading. Case closed. If you need further clarification, or need to understand an Analyst, don't hesitate to PM. I'm always happy to help.
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Ha ha, but I don't think they would do that. Maybe you could say they'd be the most scared, why they might feel like they have to comfort others so much. I haven't read much about them.
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Actually, I was responding to BendikAa's comment. Not sure why it shows up like I'm responding to you. I was upset because I constantly see comments about Diplomats being idiotic in their pursuit of harmony. I have absolutely no problem with your comment, 9. I thought it was funny.
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Actually, Diplomats are essential for human life -- even in a crisis. Take the Renaissance for example. A rebirth of literature led to philosophy and idealistic cures for the Human Condition. A strong moral compass is needed to sustain and enjoy life. Perhaps us Analysts aren't good at expressing our need for peace and tranquility, but we certainly believe it.
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Why the Introverts of the Analysts party? If anything, ENTJs would be the "ruthless" ones commanding the INTJ/INTPs to do the dirty work ;) If anything, INTJs predicted that this sort of crisis might happen one day, therefore planned in advance just in case. Always gotta have backup for the backup. Although they doubted zombies could exist in the first place, still to them ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
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Because nobody expects the sudden death of people we hate by the quiet introverts...
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I think it could go more like this: INTP is developing a new virus, just for the sake of it, or to find a new benefit for humanity. INTP imunitized herself to it. It becomes intelligent, and becomes an INFP. INFJ favors INTP, but when she hears about the world's problems, she sets off to start the apocalypse. (And yes, I did just make INTP safe from the apocalypse. Sorry to any INFP's out there, I was just making this up on a whim.) Meanwhile, our protagonist, ISFP, and her little sister ISFJ are enjoying their halloween. Then the apocalypse starts. Everyone is panicing. ISFP rushes into action rescuing everyone from the infection. On the way, she meets with an INTJ, and he works out a safe location. From there, they herd everyone to the settlement. While ISFJ heals the injured, ENTJ decides to take charge. As a self apointed leader, (and a good one at that), she gives out jobs. ISFJ, the new resident medic, gets her medicns and herbs from the scavengers ESTP, ENFJ, and ESFJ who also gather food and other supplies. ENFP and ESPF keep people's morals high, and ISFP herself was the scout. To manage it all, ESTJ and her partner, ISTJ kept order using the tools built by the mechanic ISTP, who also helped make the buildings. But not all was well. ENTP, one of the advisers helping ENTJ, thought that they should abandon all who were not fit to take care of themself. INFJ, who mostly just kept to himself at the time, came to give him a nice ol' talk about morals, with the help and encouragement of ENFJ. All was good for a week or so. Suddently, the virus broke in! It started with ENFJ when he touched something odd on a dare from ENTP. It seemed he was upset that ENFJ used a lot of food-rations, and vented it out on a simple dare with dasdardly consiquenses. However, with the gained knowlage of INTJ, they were able to corner the virus. Then INFP spoke: "I was just tring to help." As they were debating this, a strange girl walked in. She introduced herself as INTP, and politly apologized for INFP's behavior. Then she explained to INFP, who was still relativly new to the world, that taking out humanity would not help anything at all. The other fourteen were less then happy, but at least the apocolype was over. I tried to include every personality type, and exicute what they would do in this situation correctly. Did I?
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Amazing post! I would choose my best friends, of course.