People with the INFP personality type (Mediators) are dreamers and idealists, especially when it comes to romance. INFPs believe in the power and beauty of true love, and they sincerely hope to never settle for anything less.
It’s fair to say, then, that INFP personalities approach the world of romance with high expectations. They may have spent years daydreaming about the perfect relationship, imagining how it would feel to share their innermost selves with another person. But the reality of dating can come as something of a shock, forcing them to grapple with a challenging question: If they want to be in a relationship, will they have to compromise on their ideals?
INFPs don’t just want to find a partner – they want to connect with a soulmate. Thoughtful and open-minded, these personalities are generally willing to consider going out with all sorts of people. INFPs pride themselves on their ability to look past a potential partner’s superficial traits – such as appearance, social status, or possessions – and focus on deeper, more meaningful signals of compatibility.
But it would be a mistake to think that INFPs don’t have preconceived standards for a significant other. With their active minds and imaginations, people with this personality type tend to develop and carry with them a vision of their ideal partner – a vision that may be based on a favorite fictional character, a person they once knew, or simply the stories they’ve told themselves about how love “should” look.
When they meet someone new, most INFP personalities can’t help but compare that person with the ideal soulmate they’ve envisioned. Unsurprisingly, such comparisons tend to weed out more than a few potential partners. It can be difficult – if not impossible – for a real, flesh-and-blood person to live up to this type’s cherished dreams.
Making an Effort
With time, many INFPs come to learn that true love doesn’t just magically happen – it takes compromise, understanding, and work. After all, no partner is perfect, and even the most beautiful relationships have their challenges. Fortunately, people with this personality type can find a great deal of joy in the effort that it takes to strengthen a relationship.
When they fall in love, INFPs reveal just how much passion thrums beneath their quiet exteriors. Devoted and thoughtful, they often express their affection through written words, handmade gifts, or meticulously planned experiences that resonate with their partner’s interests. They also tend to respect their partner’s independence, aiming to accept their partner as they are. That said, these personalities also want to help their partner learn, grow, and pursue their goals.
INFPs are always dreaming up ways to improve themselves and the world around them, and the last thing they’d want is for their partner to feel unhappy or stuck. Many people with this personality type dedicate themselves to helping their partner improve their life. While this is a noble goal, they must be sure to keep track of their own needs and make sure that their partner is really ready to change. Provided they do so, INFPs’ support and devotion can make all the difference in their partner’s life.
Finding What’s Real
INFP personalities tend to promote harmony over disagreement. Although this lends stability to their relationships, it can also lead to problems. To steer clear of conflict, they may avoid talking openly about things that are bothering them – instead, they might mentally fixate on the problem or try to solve it on their own. INFPs may also focus on making their partner happy, to the detriment of their own priorities and sense of self.
Their tendency to internalize their feelings can make INFPs susceptible to hurt. Disappointments and heartbreaks hit hard, often leading them to retreat into their shell. People with this personality type may need to remind themselves that open, honest communication is necessary in a relationship, even if it isn’t always easy. In fact, such moments of candor can transform a relationship for the better.
Despite these challenges, INFPs remain steadfast in their search for true emotional connection. To love and be loved authentically is their ultimate romantic goal, making their approach to love a profound, beautiful journey guided by their sensitive heart. As long as they communicate openly, INFP personalities are more than capable of staying true to themselves in a relationship – and encouraging the person that they care about to do the same.