INFP Friends

The true friends of people with the INFP personality type tend to be few and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends for life. The challenge is the many dualities that this type harbors when it comes to being sociable – INFPs crave the depth of mutual human understanding, but tire easily in social situations; they are excellent at reading into others’ feelings and motivations, but are often unwilling to provide others the same insight into themselves – it’s as though INFPs like the idea of human contact, but not the reality of social contact.

INFP friends

How Poor Are They That Have Not Patience

In a lot of ways, this limits the potential pool of friends to other Diplomat types, who are able to pick up on the subtle clues left by their INFP friends, and who are more likely than not to enjoy something of a human enigma. A friendship with an ESTJ on the other hand, governed by social conventions and community participation as they are, would almost be a non-sequitur – though INFPs may find the idea of being paired with their opposite fascinating enough to outweigh the practical challenges to such a friendship.

To top it all off, ideas like networking and "the friend of my friend is my friend" hold little weight with INFPs. Friendships are earned on their own merit, by dint of the intuitive respect INFPs have for those with similar principles and values, rather than more practical alignments like those of coworkers. INFPs’ tendency to protect their sensitive inner cores and values from criticism, especially if they are on the more turbulent side of the spectrum, means that acquaintances will likely get nowhere near them without sustained and tactful effort.

But, if INFPs’ shields are properly navigated and they decide to open up and trust another person, a strong, stable friendship will ensue, marked by passionate support and idealism, subtle poetic wit, and a level of emotional insight that is hard to match. INFPs’ friends will be rewarded with calm, sensitivity and depth, and an ever-present desire to help, learn, and grow. But even the most confident and assertive INFPs will only be able to keep up this relaxed and present exterior for so long.

Even as friendships grow stronger and deeper, and friends are lulled into a sense of mutual understanding, INFPs’ enigmatic qualities will never truly vanish.

INFPs will always need to disappear for a while, removing themselves from others so they can re-center on their own minds and feelings. Often enough people with the INFP personality type will emerge from this time alone having come to some momentous decision that even their closest friends didn’t know was weighing on them, evading even the option of receiving the sort of support and advice they so readily give. Such is INFPs’ way, for better or for worse.

3 months ago
This is scary accurate. I have only 3 people I consider ‘true friends’ but they don’t even know everything going on in my head. 2 of them are also close friends with each other and we are kind of a ‘trio’. We would always hang out together, but when it was only two of us they would talk about eachother. Nothing ‘major’ mostly small comments of annoyance like “Ugh, there she goes to hang out with her older brother and his friends instead of us, again.” and problems in which they wanted ‘advice’ but then just started ranting “I started a slime page with X but she is being so controlling! This is OUR account not hers! Idk what to do!” Then when we were together they would act like everything was fine. I could not stand it and I just wanted my friends to be nice to eachother. I would listen and give advice seemingly ‘happy’ and ‘insightful’ but then go home and cry myself to sleep. The passive aggressiveness often present as well. Luckily they were not passive aggressive to me but I hated watching them do it to each other. It went on for around year and every time after I hung out I would cry and be socially drained. They never really were ‘mean’ just the piles of small comments was overwhelming. I kept it inside the whole time. I looked happy, I wasn’t. Then I asked for advice anonymously online (someone I looked up to had a Saraha) and she said just to tell them what was bothering me. So I decided to do it. It was really hard but, I did I told them what I felt. I actually started crying during it too. It was very embarrassing for me, but since then the gossiping stopped and we are still close (actually closer than before). Also we had a few minutes of me crying and everyone giving hugs but then we continued hanging out and it wasn’t a big deal (not super awkward like I feared). I can’t guarantee that the same thing will happen to you, but don’t hide everything from your friends. Let’s be honest I’m still not 100% staight forward with my friends about my feelings, but it was refreshing and lifted a burden. So if you have something weighing you down don’t force yourself to hide it (but put thought into it before sharing because sometimes things don’t turn out as well as they did for me). Sorry that was so long I just thought it was an helpful experience to share if someone is going through something similar.
6 months ago
Sadly, none of my friends really truly knows me. I can tell just by talking to them that they see me as a happy-go-lucky girl who is so sure of herself and loves attention when deep down I’m insecure about everything I say and do and would rather be alone with a book then at some crazy party. I’m scared of trying to explain this to them because I know that they won’t take me seriously and that they’ll probably think I’m joking or something. I guess I’m pretty much stuck living this lie for the rest of my life.
3 months ago
I feel the same way every day.
6 months ago
wow this is so true and relatable.
9 months ago
I'm a dyslexic discraphic perfectionist with friends who r honors students. It's hard for me not to feel stupid or less then when I am around them because I am such a perfectionist and can't be in an honors class or do certain things because I have these learning disabilitys. It's a real burden on my life
9 months ago
I'm so glad someone has finally put words to my social plight. I am still in high school and just feel very lonely and detached from most people even my friends. I have a diffecult time including myself in my group of friends because I don't want to impose, my friends don't realize this at all. I long to find someone who shares my love of conversing poetic ideals and makes me feel included. I'm desperately hopeing this will get better in College. Regardless this is spot on and I wonder if it has anything to do with being an auditory learner
3 months ago
It seems the struggle will last for ever, I understand.
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