Mediators (INFPs) are dreamers and idealists, especially when it comes to romance. People with this personality type believe in the power and beauty of true love, and they sincerely hope never to settle for anything less.
It’s fair to say, then, that Mediators approach the world of romance with high expectations. They may have spent years daydreaming about the perfect relationship, imagining how it would feel to share their innermost selves with another person. But the reality of dating can come as something of a shock to Mediators, forcing them to grapple with a challenging question: If they want to be in a relationship, will they have to compromise on their ideals?
Mediators don’t just want to find a partner – they want to connect with a soul mate. Thoughtful and open-minded, these personalities are generally willing to consider going out with all sorts of people. Mediators pride themselves on their ability to look past a potential partner’s superficial traits – such as appearance, social status, or possessions – and focus on deeper, more meaningful signals of compatibility.
But it would be a mistake to think that Mediators don’t have preconceived standards for a significant other. With their active minds and imaginations, people with this personality type tend to develop and carry with them a vision of their ideal partner – a vision that may be based on a favorite fictional character, a person they once knew, or simply the stories they’ve told themselves about how love “should” look.
When they meet someone new, most Mediators can’t help but compare that person with the ideal soul mate they’ve envisioned. Unsurprisingly, such comparisons tend to weed out more than a few potential partners. It can be difficult – if not impossible – for a real, flesh-and-blood person to live up to a Mediator’s cherished dreams.
Making an Effort
With time, many Mediators come to learn that true love doesn’t just magically happen – it takes compromise, understanding, and work. After all, no partner is perfect, and even the most beautiful relationships have their challenges. Fortunately, people with this personality type can find a great deal of joy in the effort it takes to strengthen a relationship.
When they fall in love, Mediators reveal just how much passion thrums beneath their quiet exteriors. Devoted and loyal, they nevertheless respect their partner’s independence, aiming to accept their partners as they are. That said, these personalities also want to help their partners learn, grow, and pursue their goals. Mediators are always dreaming up ways to improve themselves and the world around them, and the last thing they’d want is for their partners to feel unhappy or stuck.
Many people with this personality type dedicate themselves to helping their partners improve their lives. While this is a noble goal, Mediators must be sure to keep track of their own needs and make sure that their partners are really ready to change. Provided they do so, Mediators’ support and devotion can make all the difference in their partners’ lives.
Finding What’s Real
Mediators tend to promote harmony over disagreement. Although this lends stability to their relationships, it can also lead to problems. To avoid triggering a conflict, Mediators may avoid talking openly about things that are bothering them – instead, they might mentally fixate on the problem or try to solve it on their own. They may also focus on making their partner happy, to the detriment of their own priorities and sense of self.
People with this personality type may need to remind themselves that open, honest communication is necessary in a relationship, even if it isn’t always easy. In fact, such moments of candor can transform a relationship for the better.
As long as they communicate openly, Mediators are more than capable of staying true to themselves in a relationship – and encouraging the person they care about to do the same. By bringing their whole hearts and minds to their relationships, Mediators can find out what it truly means to love and be loved.