INFJ Personality (“The Advocate”)

The INFJ personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world. As Diplomats, they have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is the accompanying Judging (J) trait – INFJs are not idle dreamers, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact.

INFJs tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all.
INFJ personality

Help Me Help You

INFJs indeed share a unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and strong-willed, but will rarely use that energy for personal gain – INFJs will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance. Egalitarianism and karma are very attractive ideas to INFJs, and they tend to believe that nothing would help the world so much as using love and compassion to soften the hearts of tyrants.

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.

Martin Luther King

INFJs find it easy to make connections with others, and have a talent for warm, sensitive language, speaking in human terms, rather than with pure logic and fact. It makes sense that their friends and colleagues will come to think of them as quiet Extraverted types, but they would all do well to remember that INFJs need time alone to decompress and recharge, and to not become too alarmed when they suddenly withdraw. INFJs take great care of other’s feelings, and they expect the favor to be returned – sometimes that means giving them the space they need for a few days.

Live to Fight Another Day

Really though, it is most important for INFJs to remember to take care of themselves. The passion of their convictions is perfectly capable of carrying them past their breaking point and if their zeal gets out of hand, they can find themselves exhausted, unhealthy and stressed. This becomes especially apparent when INFJs find themselves up against conflict and criticism – their sensitivity forces them to do everything they can to evade these seemingly personal attacks, but when the circumstances are unavoidable, they can fight back in highly irrational, unhelpful ways.

To INFJs, the world is a place full of inequity – but it doesn’t have to be. No other personality type is better suited to create a movement to right a wrong, no matter how big or small. INFJs just need to remember that while they’re busy taking care of the world, they need to take care of themselves, too.

Advocates You May Know

Eugene Cardoza
3 years ago
I got to say, when i read the part where it says INFJs tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all. I pretty much said, say no more... its already 100% accurate
Nay
3 years ago
Ha, this is exactly where I, also and INFJ have found most frustrating about my work as a special needs teacher aide. I've been doing this for 5 years and every year I become more dissatisfied with an education system I deeply disagree with and students displaying behaviours so greatly opposed to their authentic selves and desires. I'm about to study again soon, but in a different area where I hopefully can be an influence in another deeply felt cause I would like to help in.
Joe
3 years ago
This is definitely me 100% I find it amazing how I can always see through people's intentions which is why I find it terribly hard to make genuine friends because I seek authenticity. I really dislike fake people and would not even attempt to talk to someone if I can feel that they are not genuine. Life as an INFJ can be really lonely but I prefer not "fitting in" with any groups. That being said, I love to help people and often see myself in a counselor role for my friends.
Isay
3 years ago
Most of the time, I think that helping is my purpose especially with my friends. And yeah, it's true.
Slenderman
3 years ago
Sometimes I just... feel like nobody understands me D:
Jane Bender
3 years ago
I'm an INFJ in high school, and I've honestly had so much trouble finding myself. I care so much about other people--and what they think of me--that I am afraid to be myself around them. Because of that, I subconsciously mirrored whosever's actions I was with. I didn't realize I was actually doing it until recently. I knew I had been pretending to not be myself, but I didn't realize I actually copied other people's personalities when I was around them. I was just so afraid of being seen as "different." I've spent my whole life pretending to be other people, and I'm not sure who I am anymore. It's a terrible feeling. I know what I enjoy, but I'm not sure what my personality is, because it literally changes with my surroundings. Why is this happening? I will admit, because I have spent so many years studying other people, I can "read" emotions. I always know what other people are feeling, especially if I know them well. I think that is partly why I spend so much time trying to make other people happy... If I don't, I'm not happy either, because their emotions reflect onto me.
Alena (the Russian pronunciation)
3 years ago
I'm right there with you Jane, I've been exactly where you are, but I'm much older than you but I can clearly remember those exact feelings, taking on others' personalities, others' way of speaking, their body language, everything. I felt pathetic, never knowing who I really was, I went through 3 husbands, 3 children and 3 divorces. Please don't take the path that I took, and I will be there for you if you want to talk more because you still have a chance at a real life worth so much. You can find yourself I'm sure of it. After all the years of my personal turmoil I have finally come into my own, but it took years to know who I really am. You are NOT alone, we are here for you:)
JY...
3 years ago
Alena, Thank you for sharing. I can relate. It has taken me years to come into my own, it is hard work and most people don't want to do the work because it is not easy and can be ugly at times but it's worth it. Reading your response to Jane lets me know that I did not do the work in vain.
Anonymous
3 years ago
I recently did the same thing. And I didn't realise I was doing it. It ruined my relationship. Because I was afraid she didn't love the real me. But I forgot the real me is the one she fell in love with.
Anonymous
3 years ago
What you just said is the exact thing I am going through. I have been mirroring others for years and I am lost on who I really am any more.
Your name: