Mental load is the everyday thinking required to keep your life on track. It is the invisible cognitive workout behind everything you do. At home, at school, or on the job – you can’t escape it.
When most of us think of “mental load,” what normally comes to mind is that eternal to-do list that we constantly update as we go about our lives. For many personality types, this list primarily consists of practical tasks like taking out the garbage or booking some future appointment. As discussed in the first article of this series, the perceived weight of our mental load has to do with how we handle the multifaceted challenges of juggling all those responsibilities.
But for Mediators (INFPs), mental load looks (and feels) a little different.
Incredibly insightful, empathetic, and creative in their approach to life, these personalities carry a mental load heavy with expectations, ethical considerations, and an endless supply of possibilities. Unfortunately, the ethereal nature of Mediators’ mental load doesn’t make it any easier to bear. In fact, Mediators are among the personality types most likely to feel the pangs of stress and overwhelm – and they can be really hard on themselves if they don’t live up to their goals and standards.
Getting Things Done… Or Not
When it comes to the practical matters in life, turning ideas into a to-do list doesn’t come naturally to these Prospecting personality types. Mediators often find themselves struggling to make decisions or move forward with plans. What they want to do and what they get done are entirely different categories that are not always aligned.
A Mediator might know, for example, that they need to find a new health insurance plan, but doing the research required just might not make it to the top of their priority list. And when it does, their thoughts may wander off into the realm of the different health crises that could possibly strike them or to their criticisms of the health-care industry. In the end, they may find it incredibly difficult to actually make a decision about which health plan they want to sign up for.
This doesn’t mean that Mediators can’t rise to the occasion to get things done. They certainly can. And even though many Mediators may need to “try, try again” before they accomplish a goal, many of them do have the self-discipline to do just that. This doesn’t make their mental load any easier to bear, however.
The Weight of the World
83% of Mediators agree that they sometimes set impossibly high standards for themselves.
This tendency to struggle with productivity in the traditional sense is at the heart of Mediators’ grappling with their mental load. They care deeply about the people in their life and often worry about letting others down. They spend a lot of time thinking about expectations, both their own and those of others. This leads to a tendency for Mediators to frequently feel disappointed in themselves.
On top of that, when these personalities feel overstimulated or overburdened by having too much on their plate, a common Mediator instinct is to slow waaaaaay down, to the point where they may actually shut down and stop doing things altogether. This, of course, aggravates the sense that they are not living up to their own expectations.
The Influence of Identity: The Assertive/Turbulent Split
This preoccupation with expectations can cause some serious feelings of stress for Mediators. The way that people with this personality type handle those feelings has a lot to do with their Identity trait.
Only about 19% of Turbulent Mediators feel like they effectively manage their stress, compared to the 77% of Assertive Mediators who generally feel like they have a handle on things.
In the “Handling Stress” survey, nearly 90% of Turbulent Mediators affirm that they are frequently overwhelmed by life – the greatest percentage of any personality type. In contrast, only about 50% of Assertive Mediators admit feeling the same. Regardless, Mediators are the most likely of all personality types to feel this sense of overwhelm in their day-to-day lives.
The Takeaway
It’s important to understand that mental load is not exclusively logistical. The cognitive maneuvering required to keep things flowing forward in life includes an emotional aspect that cannot be ignored.
Mediators’ mental load perfectly illustrates the complex intellectual and emotional processing that determines how a person deals with the demands of daily life.
How do you deal with your own expectations and those of others as they relate to day-to-day living? Be sure to comment below.
Further Reading
- Explore how you and other personality types relate to Expectations in our free survey.
- Mediator (INFP) Productivity Tips: Focus and Relevancy
- Assertive Mediator (INFP-A) vs. Turbulent Mediator (INFP-T)
- Stress Relief for Mediators (INFPs)