Is It Better to Be an Introvert or an Extravert?

Laura's avatar

Is it better to be an Introvert or an Extravert? Here’s the answer in a nutshell: no personality trait – including Introversion and Extraversion – is better than any other trait. That said, there’s a bit more to the story, and here’s why.

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Misleading Stereotypes

You may have seen Introverts stereotyped as deep-thinking loners or Extraverts stereotyped as smooth talkers, but these stereotypes are misleading. That’s because Introversion and Extraversion aren’t really about our social skills or how self-aware we are – they’re about where we get our energy and how we engage with our environment. Here’s what that means:

  • When Introverts feel depleted, they may need to spend some time without too much outside stimuli. This comfort with quiet and solitude can lead these personalities to become introspective – and it often does – but it doesn’t automatically make an Introvert “better” at introspection than an Extravert. Extraverts can be very self-aware – they just tend to get more energy from outside stimuli and being around others than from spending time on their own.
  • When Extraverts feel depleted, they generally go out into the world to reenergize. This drive to go out and about can lead these personalities to become socially adept – and it often does – but it doesn’t automatically make an Extravert “better” at socializing than an Introvert. Introverts can be very friendly and engaging – they may just need to relax on their own after they’ve spent time socializing.

Cultural Norms

Depending on the culture in which you live, it might feel easier to be either an Introvert or an Extravert. If you’re surrounded by Extraverts, for example, it might feel easier to be an Extravert because your preferences and energy are relatively similar to those of the people around you.

Now, it isn’t necessarily better to fit in with the norms of your culture – in many cases, being different can be an advantage. However, if you’re regularly surrounded by people who don’t share your personality type, you may sometimes feel as if you’re at a disadvantage.

The Role of Other Traits and Experiences

Introversion and Extraversion serve as just one aspect of someone’s personality type. Their other traits will have a significant influence on their actions, thoughts, and feelings. An Introvert with the Thinking trait, for example, might handle a job interview very differently from an Introvert with the Feeling trait.

A person’s life experiences will also be a significant factor in how they fare in a given situation. If one of the aforementioned Introverts used to work in recruiting, for example, that experience would certainly affect what they’d say in the interview. So who would fare better in a job interview: an Extravert with no recruiting experience or an Introvert with recruiting experience? It’s impossible to say.

And that just goes to show why it isn’t “better” to be an Introvert or an Extravert. Each trait comes with certain strengths and weaknesses, and neither has more strengths (or more weaknesses) than the other. Besides, Introversion and Extraversion are just one aspect of our personality – an important aspect, to be sure, but still only a single part of what makes us who we are.

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A grayscale avatar for an anonymous user
Being an Introvert kid/adolescent growing up in a community dominated with Extroverts, who were mostly unable to understand, that I'm functioning in a different way, was quite a difficult experience. "Why don't you go outside and play with other kids?", "You always stay at home and only play with the blocks/play computer games/read books all the time", "Why do you learn so much, there's no use of it", "You only want to show off with your notes and make others feel worse", "Don't you have any holidays from learning?", "You're such a recluse", "You exalt youself above others, you despise them, it's rude", "Your behaviour is a sin with of pride", "Do you have any friends?", "You seem not to be interested at girls at all, is everything with you right?", "It's all because of you/your books/computer games (the last one quite often accompanied by "you must be possesseb by some evil spirits"). Even today I'm not sure whether it all stemmed from an ignorance, intolerance or something else. As a result, it was very difficult and took me very much time to understand that I my attitude and behaviour was "unproper", "invalid", "insulting", "boastful", etc. To cut the long story short, I do agree that being an Introvert or Extravert can be evaluated as "better/worse". I like to think that it's a trait just like being right-handed or left-handed: it only determines which of your hand is dominant, but you use both. I assume that only very few people tie their shoes with only one hand.
A grayscale avatar for an anonymous user
Completly agree with you, it would be wise, intelligent and healthy to have a balance between these two, either what's your preference (Introversion or extraversion) in the very end we need both of them to fully develop ourselves and have high quality life. To much extraversion can become overtime boring, unhealthy and even worse, a direct path to not being able to know yourself deeply. To much introversion can become once again boring, unhealthy but even worse, isolate completly from others, "we live in a society" said once the Joker, he's damn right. There's no need to feel ashamed if you're introverted, as well its not a reason to feel superior or celebrate because you're a "genetic gifted" if you're a extraverted. On their own both are good and bad, but together may acomplish things that you've never think of.
A grayscale avatar for an anonymous user
That is really well written. I love the handedness analogy, I'll definitely use it to explain to my friends!
INTJ avatar
I can relate especially to the "go outside" thing. Both when I was a child and then later as a teenager. My mother always told me to go out with friends more often (because apparently every teenager likes to party and if I don't do that then obviously I'm not having fun). But these "friends" drained me, I had nothing to talk about with them and I'd rather spend time by myself, reading books or playing video games. Some people just can't imagine that "extraverted" things aren't necessarily fun to everyone.
INTJ avatar
As a young child, I used to read more books. However, over time, they began to bore me. At that time, I started playing video games constantly. Due to the fact that most of my family has the F trait, we don't get along well at all. That has only pushed me into more introspective tasks.
A grayscale avatar for an anonymous user
That line about tying shoelaces with only one hand is really good, I think i might use that one
INTJ avatar
I completely understand - hey at least I understand you...
INFP avatar
Yuck! What I absolutely don't get is why people have to use shaming language whenever they are unable to grasp certain concepts or aspects about someone. If you know how to properly read that, you can easily see the blatant ignorance of those individuals. Alas, it can take decades to figure out what is really going on instead of blaming yourself for traits that are perfectly valid (I can relate - it took me almost 40 years to finally know what's going on inside of me). That being said, people who know don't talk. People who talk don't know. This is especially true with any kind of shaming language that is involved.