Finding Your Life Purpose If You’re a Diplomat

Darrell's avatar

Diplomat personality types: Advocates (INFJ), Mediators (INFP), Protagonists (ENFJ), and Campaigners (ENFP)

For many Diplomats, a life purpose may feel like a calling – something decided on a spiritual or cosmic level. Although not all of them do, they are the personality types most likely to believe that such things are preordained. They often favor the spiritual and mystical. Combine that with the value they place on helping others, and the blend can create a profound sense of mission in Diplomat personalities.

“She remembered who she was and the game changed.”

LALAH DELIA

A life purpose is a guiding vision that is the core reason for all the significant activities in a person’s life. It’s a self-organizing principle based on passions and competency, and it’s different from a goal in that it’s not detailed but more a guiding umbrella concept that covers all specifics. A life purpose might change several times in a lifetime. For Diplomats, feeling that their existence has a reason is likely to be essential to their self-esteem. While there is still much to study, research has suggested that having a life purpose is linked to positive mental and physical health results.

People may discover or start a quest for a meaningful life once or several times from the cradle to the grave. If you’re a Diplomat personality type, and you’re not sure what your purpose in life is, here are suggestions that might help you in your journey to meaning.

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What Is Bigger Than You?

Finding something bigger than yourself means not being confined just to your wants and wishes. It involves considering a big, more profound picture instead. Many (but not all) Diplomat ideals rest on the welfare of humanity, either locally or globally – something bigger than themselves. That doesn’t mean that Diplomats don’t or shouldn’t take care of their own needs and wants. But committing to a thing that they consider more significant than themselves helps define their sense of purpose.

Diplomat personalities may find their purpose by exploring their spiritual lives, political lives, philosophical lives, professional lives, family lives, or social awareness. Not all Diplomats will be mystics, altruists, or activists. Still, an exploration of these things can reveal what is vital to a Diplomat’s thinking and way of life.

What is something bigger than yourself that you connect with? What is your relationship with this more significant concern? How would you like to see your connection strengthen? Do any of your answers describe something about life purpose? (These alone may or may not suggest a life purpose. This exercise is just one way to explore the possibilities.)

Go Within

Diplomats, with their Intuitive-Feeling personality trait combo, prefer their answers coming from within. We Feeling types like to send our decisions through our guts. So trust that.

Close your eyes and envision the things that you might do with your life, based on your current interests and concerns. Listen carefully to your instincts. Notice the things that evoke a huge Yes! when you think about them.

Make it a practice to spend a few minutes each day meditating on (or merely thinking about) your interests and passions. See what’s consistent about your reactions – there is always the potential for something to look good today but not be as exciting tomorrow. Maybe even explore your reactions in a longer form by using a journal dedicated to your life purpose. Remember, there’s no hurry, and there are no shortcuts. But you may find your life purpose by considering how fierce your yeses are.

What Are Your Gifts?

It’s fun to talk about life purpose in expansive and dreamy terms. But, at some point, for it to matter, having a mission demands action. A mission involves doing something. So what can you do?

This exercise is the more practical side of discovering your life purpose. To find yours, you may need to inventory your skills and talents. It’s not enough to say, “I’m going to dedicate my life toward eradicating hunger.” What gifts do you have to dedicate to that cause? Leadership qualities? Communication skills? Fundraising skills? Organizational skills? More than one? Making a list might be helpful.

A skills inventory can work both ways. Once you know what gives your life meaning, you can apply the skills you have to your purpose or strive to learn more skills. But consider this: your skills might also lend themselves to creating a life purpose. For example, if you’re a creative and imaginative fiction writer, your life purpose might be to share as many of your spellbinding pieces with the world as possible, making the world a better place for having read your novels. You can always elevate your talents or craft to serve a broader vision.

Putting It All Together

After you discover your life purpose, two more steps might help solidify and memorialize your discovery: (1) write a personal vision statement, and (2) reduce your plan and purpose into a short “elevator pitch.” The mission statement should be relatively short (some advise three to five sentences), with the elevator pitch being shorter (a 15- to 30-second sound bite). The mission statement is a succinct definition of your purpose, and the elevator pitch is, in this context, less about networking and more like a motto or affirmation. Keep them uncomplicated – something a ten-year-old might understand. Both should strengthen any decision you come to about your life purpose and may help you stay focused on your mission.

In all cases, it’s easier to navigate if you know where you are going. Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher, assured us that, “He who has a why can endure any how.” If you know your purpose in life, the why of your existence, then how to reach that destination likely becomes obvious. What’s your why?

Are you a Diplomat personality type who has discovered your life purpose? What approaches have (or haven’t) helped you? Share your experiences in the comments below.

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ENFJ avatar
Informative and functional article. Thanks Darrell
ENFP avatar
I have been searching and exploring the topic of "purpose" since I was a teenager. It is one of my greatest passions. For a while I believe, my purpose, was to help other people find there purpose. I am 46 and I have done so many different jobs although 90% of them I have loved. Bit of a "generalist" so I find love in so many things, especially when it comes to working with people. I even went back to do my Masters in Design Innovation, 4 years ago, to explore/develop an idea around "Life Purpose". It was an incredible and rewarding journey and brought on a new tangent around Leadership and Wellbeing. Don't ask :) then 2 years ago I met a guy at a party and we were chatting about purpose and now both of us are developing a project, in Ireland, called the Academy of Purpose. We ran our first 11-week training course in February and now we are hoping to run our first schools programme in Oct. With the vision of developing an online/blended course in the next 6 months. Life can have many bends and turns and hills and troughs and can be hard and confusing although there is a magic in it. Be patient with the journey and be open to the universe and what it is telling you. Your purpose will reveal itself when you are ready for it. There is also a beautiful model called "Ikigai" that might help you on this special journey of self-discovery.
A grayscale avatar for an anonymous user
An ENFP has to leave some marks here, haha.. Good article, thanks for sharing :D I`m not a native English user, so I guess I have to read it one more time to have better understanding. Wish everybody good luck and happy ^_^
ENFP avatar
Wassup my dude?!? Campaigners in the house!!!
A grayscale avatar for an anonymous user
Lol great name
INFJ avatar
It's incredibly annoying to not know your life purpose and when thinking on skills or gifts you can find nothing that is going to be of much use to any purpose. Also, this article states there is no rush, that you're in no hurry, but that is not entirely true for some, if not most, diplomats searching for their life purpose, especially if that involves what they want to do for a career. I can't live with my parents forever, that I know and nearing 30 and still doing nothing annoys the world around me. In that sense, I would certainly say there is a hurry of some sorts to find such a purpose, as the harsh reality is that you just won't get hired if you're too old and/or inexperienced. Any thoughts?
INFJ avatar
@AnotherMemory I truly feel you and I am in kind of the same situation. I don't know my specific life purpose yet, I just know I want to help people, and it is frustrating not to know how and what exactly. Also, I recognize myself in that I am in a hurry, because I have to find a new job at the moment and I really want to do something I love. But also I realize, that it is in my mind, that I feel like I have to rush, and these thoughts are just giving me stress. But when I truly think about it, is there really no time? Or am I being too hard on myself and I just want it too much too fast? Is it really a huge problem if it takes a few weeks, months or years? And do I need to know already my purpose in life? Some say the journey to find out is the nicest part. It is okay to try different things and then find out that it is not a fit for you, that it is not the job of your life, or it is not your purpose in life. Give yourself time, enjoy the journey and you will find out.
INFJ avatar
Very nice words to live by, Martine, thanks. If only there was a way to make money while helping people by talking to them online or something.. I feel like that's one of the few things that would really fit me ^^ And I know there's no "real" rush.. but I do feel some pressure from my surroundings. I'm not that young anymore and (almost) all my friends have succesful jobs and/or partners that could support them.
INTJ avatar
The pressure to find a job and one that works for you is daunting for many I think. Even if a job is outwardly successful, a person may still not be happy with it. Sometimes it's less about finding the job of your dreams and more about finding a job that works well enough and then finding something you like about it while improving your skill to build satisfaction. I know, not the most dreamy answer, but I think it's easier to be happy finding contentment despite the circumstances rather than looking for the ideal circumstances to be happy. As for finding a life purpose, I don't think that and your career necessarily need to be one in the same. While many people try to use their career for their life purpose, that's not an absolute. A job can fail, your purpose doesn't have to. I think a life purpose stems from what you really treasure and value. If you think you want to help people, maybe probe yourself a little further. Why do you really want to help people? In what way? To what extent? Help humanity as a whole, an individual, or something in between? You might not know all the answers right away and may need to do research or self examine further. However, asking questions like that can help give some focus which you can branch off of. Also, a life purpose isn't something you achieve overnight. It's ok to start off with smaller goals or make adjustments along the way.
A grayscale avatar for an anonymous user
Have you considered being an online therapist? You get to talk to people online, like you said you’d like to do... :)
INFJ avatar
I really doubt people would trust the word of someone online. Besides, I'm lacking the proper credentials. Thank you for the suggestion though, Jess :)
A grayscale avatar for an anonymous user
Excellent advice! In my twenties I knew that I wanted to help people so I became an EMT and really loved it. There is great satisfaction in knowing that your immediate actions make the difference in saving people's lives. Over time, however, all the trauma extracts a heavy toll on your psyche. Over the last fifteen years I've been employed in a niche role that gave me great latitude and enabled me to work in a 'loner' role connecting all the many departments of the company while not actually being a part of any of them (perfect for this Assertive Mediator). That industry has taken a hard hit this year and I now find myself in transition and wanting to find work that better aligns with my passions and values; which is not an easy task. I have a lot of hard work to do and I realize that I am not alone in this. My heart goes out to all my fellow Diplomats!
ENFP avatar
I thought you were joking, when you said, "if only there was a way to make money by helping people online". Have you considered "Life Coaching"?
INFJ avatar
I wasn't really joking, I just assumed such things don't really exist. And it sounds a little strange for ME to be giving OTHERS life coaching ^^;
A grayscale avatar for an anonymous user
You might maybe consider going to university and studying psychology or a similar topic if that's possible for you. Like that you would solve the problem of your lack of proper credentials and you wouldn't have the feeling of not moving forward towards your life purpose as this would be a great first step to take. Also, during the process of studying you can specialize on a topic that you think might really fulfill you. That's just my advice and I don't know if it fits into your current living situation but i'm giving you that advice because i'm in a kind of similar situation as i know that i want to help people by giving them the possibility of talking about their problems and giving advice but i don't exactly know how so i decided to study psychology next year once i've finished school as a first step towards the right direction. (please excuse me for my bad grammar, English is not my first language, i'm from Germany ^^') I wish you good luck on your way whatever you may decide to do ^^
INFJ avatar
Thank you for the kind thoughts, Julia. I'm afraid that psychology would eventually have a negative effect on me, though it is indeed something good to consider. Good luck on your own endeavours to become a psychologist and don't worry about your English ^^
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I love this post!! <3