INFP Relationships

INFPs are dreamy idealists, and in the pursuit of the perfect relationship, this quality shows strongest. Never short on imagination, INFPs dream of the perfect relationship, forming an image of this pedestalled ideal that is their soul mate, playing and replaying scenarios in their heads of how things will be. This is a role that no person can hope to fill, and people with the INFP personality type need to recognize that nobody’s perfect, and that relationships don’t just magically fall into place – they take compromise, understanding and effort.

INFP romantic relationships

Love All, Trust a Few, Do Wrong to None

Fortunately these are qualities that INFPs are known for, and while it can be a challenge to separate long-fostered fantasy from reality, INFPs’ tendency to focus their attention on just a few people in their lives means that they will approach new relationships wholeheartedly, with a sense of inherent value, dedication and trust.

INFPs share a sincere belief in the idea of relationships – that two people can come together and make each other better and happier than they were alone, and they will take great efforts to show support and affection in order to make this ideal a reality.

But INFPs aren’t necessarily in a rush to commit – they are, after all, Prospecting (P) types, and are almost always looking to either establish a new relationship or improve an existing one – they need to be sure they’ve found someone compatible. In dating, INFPs will often start with a flurry of comparisons, exploring all the ways the current flame matches with the ideal they’ve imagined. This progression can be a challenge for a new partner, as not everyone is able to keep up with INFPs’ rich imagination and moral standards – if incompatibilities and conflict over this initial rush mount, the relationship can end quickly, with INFPs likely sighing that "it wasn’t meant to be."

As a relationship takes hold, people with the INFP personality type will show themselves to be passionate, hopeless romantics, while still respecting their partners’ independence. INFPs take the time to understand those they care about, while at the same time helping them to learn, grow and change. While INFPs are well-meaning, not everyone appreciates what can come across as constantly being told that they need to improve – or, put another way, that they’re not good enough. INFPs would be aghast to find that their intents were interpreted this way, but it’s a real risk, and if their partner is as averse to conflict as INFPs themselves, it can boil under the surface for some time before surfacing, too late to fix.

Better Three Hours Too Soon Than a Minute Too Late

This aversion to conflict, while contributing greatly to stability in the relationship when done right, is probably the most urgent quality for INFPs to work on. Between their sensitivity and imagination, INFPs are prone to internalizing even objective statements and facts, reading into them themes and exaggerated consequences, sometimes responding as though these comments are metaphors designed to threaten the very foundations of their principles. Naturally this is almost certainly an overreaction, and INFPs should practice what they preach, and focus on improving their ability to respond to criticism with calm objectivity, rather than irrational accusations and weaponized guilt.

But that’s at their uncommon worst – at their best, INFPs do everything they can to be the ideal partner, staying true to themselves and encouraging their partners to do the same. INFPs take their time in becoming physically intimate so that they can get to know their partners, using their creativity to understand their wants and needs, and adapt to them. People with this personality type are generous in their affection, with a clear preference for putting the pleasure of their partners first – it is in knowing that their partners are satisfied that INFPs truly feel the most pleasure.

Bijou
4 years ago
I have the hardest time with this aspect "INFPs’ imagination can easily come up with many different negative ideas and assumptions – this should be prevented at all costs." Especially in my relationship with significant other. I think of so many scenarios that have never happened or are never likely to happen and sort of make accusations based on these imaginary assumptions. Anyone else have that problem or solutions to stop doing this?! It drives me nuts, and also my boyfriend.
Steve
4 years ago
What an amazingly spot on test/report... I'm an INFP. I sometimes feel like I am being crushed by the weight of what I let myself feel, but on the other hand, the good times make up for so much of the pain... Re the jealousy comments, I think I don't start off jealous - I will give someone total trust (if they are trust worthy) and then if/when they start to abuse that trust or take me for granted, THAT's when I get jealous. Or perhaps it's more that I feel like I'm being treated like a chump, which rankles me. But yes - I will take a lot of that before I call someone out on it... INFP's rule!!!
Susan
4 years ago
There are some negligible differences here: things that I've grown out of or have yet to experience. So I say with all honesty that this his is fairly accurate. thank you the test was enjoyable and enlightening! :D
sepideh
4 years ago
really true. this happened to me: "INFPs are often so focused on the ideals of romance and love that when love finally knocks on their door, it becomes difficult to separate imagination from reality." "When it comes to intimacy, INFPs are more likely to focus on satisfying the needs of their dating or long-term partner, as opposed to putting their own pleasure first." " People with this personality type will not rush to sexual intimacy – they will study their dating partner, get to know them really well and only then consider moving on to the next stage of the relationship. That being said, INFPs are likely to get a lot of pleasure from intimacy as sexual acts will give them an excellent opportunity to express their love."
Anonymous
4 years ago
This really does fit me except when my ideas are challenged I want to listen and hear what the person has to say.
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