INFP Friends

The true friends of people with the INFP personality type tend to be few and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends for life. The challenge is the many dualities that this type harbors when it comes to being sociable – INFPs crave the depth of mutual human understanding, but tire easily in social situations; they are excellent at reading into others’ feelings and motivations, but are often unwilling to provide others the same insight into themselves – it’s as though INFPs like the idea of human contact, but not the reality of social contact.

INFP friends

How Poor Are They That Have Not Patience

In a lot of ways, this limits the potential pool of friends to other Diplomat types, who are able to pick up on the subtle clues left by their INFP friends, and who are more likely than not to enjoy something of a human enigma. A friendship with an ESTJ on the other hand, governed by social conventions and community participation as they are, would almost be a non-sequitur – though INFPs may find the idea of being paired with their opposite fascinating enough to outweigh the practical challenges to such a friendship.

To top it all off, ideas like networking and "the friend of my friend is my friend" hold little weight with INFPs. Friendships are earned on their own merit, by dint of the intuitive respect INFPs have for those with similar principles and values, rather than more practical alignments like those of coworkers. INFPs’ tendency to protect their sensitive inner cores and values from criticism, especially if they are on the more turbulent side of the spectrum, means that acquaintances will likely get nowhere near them without sustained and tactful effort.

But, if INFPs’ shields are properly navigated and they decide to open up and trust another person, a strong, stable friendship will ensue, marked by passionate support and idealism, subtle poetic wit, and a level of emotional insight that is hard to match. INFPs’ friends will be rewarded with calm, sensitivity and depth, and an ever-present desire to help, learn, and grow. But even the most confident and assertive INFPs will only be able to keep up this relaxed and present exterior for so long.

Even as friendships grow stronger and deeper, and friends are lulled into a sense of mutual understanding, INFPs’ enigmatic qualities will never truly vanish.

INFPs will always need to disappear for a while, removing themselves from others so they can re-center on their own minds and feelings. Often enough people with the INFP personality type will emerge from this time alone having come to some momentous decision that even their closest friends didn’t know was weighing on them, evading even the option of receiving the sort of support and advice they so readily give. Such is INFPs’ way, for better or for worse.

4 years ago
I am in a recovery mode right now. Some think that it is just a matter of days, for me it's months. My need for perfection in my life had become so strong it paralyzed me, and I went into hybernation mode. I am hoping that I can pull out of this soon as it can be agonizing for my family and I do my best to be social when my husband is off of work or my kids are home from college, but I am needing my time right now. It's not always like this. I live my life as a vibrant person at other times, but right now, I need this. It is a natural thing for me and I can't change it. People have asked if I should be on antidepressants but, I am not depressed. I just need a break.
4 years ago
I guess the only thing they didn't mention that I am surprised about is I always feel so lonely, because I need people, but at the same time people are so hard. I feel like no one understands and I crave the companionship of someone who does!
3 years ago
That is SO true. It's like what we need is not real and yet we don't wanna believe it. We consciously manipulate ourselves so we can enjoy the dream we've made in our oblivion-bubble
4 years ago
I feel like I understand myself a bit better. I thought I was the the only one who felt or acted this way. I often feel like no one understands me, I have trouble speaking my mind, and i guess I am easily misunderstood. I thought I was sort of weird, because sometimes I feel like going out, partying, socializing, chilling and other times I just want some silence, and peace and quiet. Sometimes wanting to be alone comes so suddenly and out of the blue, I get told I'm weird. At least I know it's just my personality and I'm not the only one who shares it :)
4 years ago
I read every comment here but..... I have friends and we connect.... But I feel distance. When I express my feelings they come out weird. I'm soooo bad at explaining. I want to help people but I'm the most clueless person I know. Really. I like to share but I don't know how. I feel weird, clueless and stupid. I always lose my friends like this.
4 years ago
I totally get you, whenever my friends are in need of comfort I can't give them any advice. Like I feel hurt too, I feel upset for them as well but I don't know what to say. And I hate the fact that i can't help, it makes me so angry I feel like I'm going to explode, but I don't show it. And so I avoid situations like that, I guess to them it seems like i'm cold, or I don't care, but I do, I just don't know how to show it
4 years ago
I'm an INFP and while I've never had any issue at all forming friendly acquaintances, I have a much, much tougher time with strong, personal friendships. I only have three friends that I hang out with on a regular basis, and of those three only one that I would truly trust with ANYTHING and EVERYTHING (that one friend is an ENFP). It's just hard for me to open up to people because I always feel I'm too weird or too different to make them like me, so I kinda just decide not to try. I mean sure I'll be very polite and friendly and can make small talk with co-workers and customers and stuff like that, but it's hard for me to really connect with them on a personal level in order to make a real friendship. I do love certain aspects about myself as an INFP, but I can't deny that sometimes it can be very difficult and frustrating feeling like people don't understand you, when all you want is someone to know where you're coming from.
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