INFP Friends

The true friends of people with the INFP personality type tend to be few and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends for life. The challenge is the many dualities that this type harbors when it comes to being sociable – INFPs crave the depth of mutual human understanding, but tire easily in social situations; they are excellent at reading into others’ feelings and motivations, but are often unwilling to provide others the same insight into themselves – it’s as though INFPs like the idea of human contact, but not the reality of social contact.

INFP friends

How Poor Are They That Have Not Patience

In a lot of ways, this limits the potential pool of friends to other Diplomat types, who are able to pick up on the subtle clues left by their INFP friends, and who are more likely than not to enjoy something of a human enigma. A friendship with an ESTJ on the other hand, governed by social conventions and community participation as they are, would almost be a non-sequitur – though INFPs may find the idea of being paired with their opposite fascinating enough to outweigh the practical challenges to such a friendship.

To top it all off, ideas like networking and "the friend of my friend is my friend" hold little weight with INFPs. Friendships are earned on their own merit, by dint of the intuitive respect INFPs have for those with similar principles and values, rather than more practical alignments like those of coworkers. INFPs’ tendency to protect their sensitive inner cores and values from criticism, especially if they are on the more turbulent side of the spectrum, means that acquaintances will likely get nowhere near them without sustained and tactful effort.

But, if INFPs’ shields are properly navigated and they decide to open up and trust another person, a strong, stable friendship will ensue, marked by passionate support and idealism, subtle poetic wit, and a level of emotional insight that is hard to match. INFPs’ friends will be rewarded with calm, sensitivity and depth, and an ever-present desire to help, learn, and grow. But even the most confident and assertive INFPs will only be able to keep up this relaxed and present exterior for so long.

Even as friendships grow stronger and deeper, and friends are lulled into a sense of mutual understanding, INFPs’ enigmatic qualities will never truly vanish.

INFPs will always need to disappear for a while, removing themselves from others so they can re-center on their own minds and feelings. Often enough people with the INFP personality type will emerge from this time alone having come to some momentous decision that even their closest friends didn’t know was weighing on them, evading even the option of receiving the sort of support and advice they so readily give. Such is INFPs’ way, for better or for worse.

Anonymous
2 years ago
Now I know myself, it's really accurate ,really. I'm grateful that somehow knows me. I'm not weird after all lol. I think a lot of my acquaintance are more social type, and I only had few people to call friend.
Anonymous
2 years ago
Hmm... I'm an INFP, but I actually have a lot of friends... Though I feel like the lyrics of "Life is Like a Boat" by Rie Fu really apply to me: "Nobody knows who I really am...." Fellow INFPs should go read the lyrics (some are in Japanese so I don't know what they mean) It's a really beautiful song. And a lot of the things that were described really apply to me. Sometimes I feel like I'm shy but no one knows it...
2 years ago
YESSS!!! this is exactly what it's like... I'm was what you could a drifter at school. I was friends with everyone, I got along with everyone but I'd drift from group to group without connecting, "really" connecting... So I feel you my friend and understand, shy but gets along with everyone.
1 year ago
"shy but no one knows it" People often say I am very social, but I think sometimes I have social anxiety so. Relatable.
2 years ago
finally people who understand! my whole life is one big misunderstanding this is great!
Leo J
2 years ago
I hate to admit but everything I read here just slapped me in the face. I hate not being able to enjoy social interactions and always felt isolated with everyone. I never had an actual 'friend' to call to and if I had any, it wouldn't be long till we start ignoring each other or just exchange smiles and look away. And today, all my new acquaintances seem to hate being with me or I'm in their presence. What can I do to make them like me? Where should I try to place myself? I need help
Aqua
2 years ago
You said- "it wouldn't be long till WE start ignoring each other..."- my first advice to you Leo, is to try and maintain your friendships, if you don't your 'friend' will probably do the same. Don't give up so easily, it usually takes awhile for a friendship to strengthen. Keep in touch with your friends and if your comfortable try not to be TOO private, your friends will appreciate that you are able to trust them with some of your problems or goals (I am not forcing you, only do so if you feel comfortable) and will hopefully do the same back. Second, get to know more people, I know that's not that easy since you'er an introvert, but trust me if you do you will most likely find someone who shares the same interests as you and who is willing to spend time with you. I don't want to be picky but Diplomats and Analysts are probably a good choice, but don't get me wrong Explorers and Senteles could be just as good (like a comment below says that they are best friends with an opposite). So try to look around a bit, it would be very helpful. Third, look/be happy around your friends cuz if you look like your not having a good time with them, they might not want to be with or spend time with you. If you are interested and and care about your friends a lot, they will really love you for that and would love to spend time with you. Finally, treat them the way you want them to treat you. You want a good friend correct? Then you have to be a very good friend, its probably the only way to get a good friend. If you be a good friend to people than people will want to be your friend and will like spending time with you. I know I said 'finally' but want to add one more thing. If you do all those things above and still find the person you are trying to be friends with does not want to be with you, don't take it personally, leave them alone and look for someone else. I've learned that not everyone will appreciate you for being you, but are some people look for them and you will find yourself with a satisfying friendship. :) I really hope that helped! I'm not and INFP so I don't know if it was very helpful, but I tried my best! Let me know if it helped and if not (be honest!) tell me and I will be more than happy to give some more advice if I can!!! :) - An ENFJ
1 year ago
As an INFP I can say yes it was helpful. Thanks :)
Anonymous
2 years ago
I'm an INFP and my best friend is an ESTJ. It's actually really great because we offer a totally different perspective to each other.
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