INFP Friends

The true friends of people with the INFP personality type tend to be few and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends for life. The challenge is the many dualities that this type harbors when it comes to being sociable – INFPs crave the depth of mutual human understanding, but tire easily in social situations; they are excellent at reading into others’ feelings and motivations, but are often unwilling to provide others the same insight into themselves – it’s as though INFPs like the idea of human contact, but not the reality of social contact.

INFP friends

How Poor Are They That Have Not Patience

In a lot of ways, this limits the potential pool of friends to other Diplomat types, who are able to pick up on the subtle clues left by their INFP friends, and who are more likely than not to enjoy something of a human enigma. A friendship with an ESTJ on the other hand, governed by social conventions and community participation as they are, would almost be a non-sequitur – though INFPs may find the idea of being paired with their opposite fascinating enough to outweigh the practical challenges to such a friendship.

To top it all off, ideas like networking and "the friend of my friend is my friend" hold little weight with INFPs. Friendships are earned on their own merit, by dint of the intuitive respect INFPs have for those with similar principles and values, rather than more practical alignments like those of coworkers. INFPs’ tendency to protect their sensitive inner cores and values from criticism, especially if they are on the more turbulent side of the spectrum, means that acquaintances will likely get nowhere near them without sustained and tactful effort.

But, if INFPs’ shields are properly navigated and they decide to open up and trust another person, a strong, stable friendship will ensue, marked by passionate support and idealism, subtle poetic wit, and a level of emotional insight that is hard to match. INFPs’ friends will be rewarded with calm, sensitivity and depth, and an ever-present desire to help, learn, and grow. But even the most confident and assertive INFPs will only be able to keep up this relaxed and present exterior for so long.

Even as friendships grow stronger and deeper, and friends are lulled into a sense of mutual understanding, INFPs’ enigmatic qualities will never truly vanish.

INFPs will always need to disappear for a while, removing themselves from others so they can re-center on their own minds and feelings. Often enough people with the INFP personality type will emerge from this time alone having come to some momentous decision that even their closest friends didn’t know was weighing on them, evading even the option of receiving the sort of support and advice they so readily give. Such is INFPs’ way, for better or for worse.

1 year ago
This is literally me and my friends - the majority of us are infp-t and sometimes when one of us gets really stressed we delete a lot of our social apps for a while e.g whatsapp snapchat ect - some of my other friends don't understand why we do this and for I while I thought we were just really weird - FINALLY Ive found an explanation
6 months ago
My social exclusions in high school were really (internally) heated. I would yell at people online, mute friends in open chat channels that I was just talking to or even quit groups of people all together when I got really angry. On the inside, it's this heated feeling in my heart. I don't know why that happens but it whenever it starts, I always end up getting rid of everyone I know, from every place I know. Then, immediately after, I end up feeling lonely again so I go back or I make new ones. All I can say about this is that, maybe, as mediators (or just me), we're supposed to address our anger with ourselves when we feel it or maybe with other people. Even though I typed that, I'm not sure it's completely possible to even explain how or why it happens. It has to be anger, at least for me. If it is, then introverts may be holding in a lot more emotional guilt, hatred, anger or fear than we give ourselves credit for. I would even get angry at people sometimes for referring to me as a name I made myself. I'm pretty sure this last part stems from me sometimes naming myself something I can't stand like 'Cat' or some other topic that I don't like seeing but I'll make people call me this, just to get really angry later that they made fun of it. All in all, I just really need to find a better way to express to people what I don't like about the world around me, to put it mildly. If I had to explain why I might not like cats, it goes from being just a name to being something more elaborate. Maybe just the entire culture surrounding them bothers me and I might need to learn how to better say it but I've held even something like inside me for years. I've tried with a friend online once to address that fact and he said that cats made him think of narcissists. I took on this identity just to be angry I couldn't stand it, but to say it was all his fault makes no sense and yet, in high school, I would have made it his fault somehow. If I had to keep the conversation simple, maybe the details that mediators ignore gets us into real trouble later. There may be some things we have to say to people or it will just never go away.
1 year ago
This totally explains why I'm so close to my friends.
Anonymous
2 years ago
My closest friend is an INFP, she really is amazing, all you INFP's are! I feel soo bad that you guys feel down cuz people don't understand you >.< YOU GUYS ARE THE MOST CARING, UNDERSTANDING, IMAGINATIVE, AND JUST AWESOME PEOPLE EVER, REMEMBER THAT! :D I mean everything thing I'm saying, there are people out there who love you for who you are, exactly like CecileJ1 said you might just need to be a little more willing to share, and remember that ones who matter won't mind and the ones who mind don't matter! I want you guys to be happy with who you are cuz you really should be! Show the world your gold!!! XD Oh and can I have some advice on how I can be a good friend? My (best) friend says I am but I would like to hear what people with the same personality type would advise me. I would really appreciate your help! Thanks! (P.s. sorry if I sound weird and all, I kinda get like that when I really want to get my point across, people call me hyper when I do that, lol sorry XP )
1 year ago
Thanks for the wonderful message. I love the ('hyper') enthousiasm ^^. I can only speak for myself of course, I don't know what does and doesn't apply to other INFP's, but I definetly recognize just about everything I am reading here. Of course the introversion means we need our recharge time, but as mentioned above we do like connecting with people. Taking social initiative is difficult, but if people ask me questions I can talk on and on. Keep the conversation going is what I find difficult but I can be very social if I feel comfortable, and also, if its 1on1. Introverted people focus their attention, multiple people at the same time is draining, and not getting someone's full attention is also draining. But it sounds like you already know how to appreciate INFP's. :) Have a nice day, Balder
CecileJ1
2 years ago
Leo J, I face the exact same problem as you. I'm at a loss at how to make the ones I care about like as a friend. I had one-ONE-person out of the hundreds I met who seemed to understand me. But then she stopped responding to me, and disappeared off the face of the planet. I've been looking for her my whole life, and meanwhile feeling like I'm all alone in this world. My advice is I got my one friend by showing my true colors. If you stop holding the wall up and let people in, people appreciate it. I don't say poor your heart out, but just be a little more willing to share.
Kalimaxtta
2 years ago
I'm an INFP and my best friend is an ESTJ. Its quite cool how we're complete opposites. There are times when we clash, for instance she doesn't always realise when I need space to recharge. However on the whole we're really close. In a way our opposites help us balance each other and I love to see the world from her totally different perspective.
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