INFP Friends

The true friends of people with the INFP personality type tend to be few and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends for life. The challenge is the many dualities that this type harbors when it comes to being sociable – INFPs crave the depth of mutual human understanding, but tire easily in social situations; they are excellent at reading into others’ feelings and motivations, but are often unwilling to provide others the same insight into themselves – it’s as though INFPs like the idea of human contact, but not the reality of social contact.

INFP friends

How Poor Are They That Have Not Patience

In a lot of ways, this limits the potential pool of friends to other Diplomat types, who are able to pick up on the subtle clues left by their INFP friends, and who are more likely than not to enjoy something of a human enigma. A friendship with an ESTJ on the other hand, governed by social conventions and community participation as they are, would almost be a non-sequitur – though INFPs may find the idea of being paired with their opposite fascinating enough to outweigh the practical challenges to such a friendship.

To top it all off, ideas like networking and "the friend of my friend is my friend" hold little weight with INFPs. Friendships are earned on their own merit, by dint of the intuitive respect INFPs have for those with similar principles and values, rather than more practical alignments like those of coworkers. INFPs’ tendency to protect their sensitive inner cores and values from criticism, especially if they are on the more turbulent side of the spectrum, means that acquaintances will likely get nowhere near them without sustained and tactful effort.

But, if INFPs’ shields are properly navigated and they decide to open up and trust another person, a strong, stable friendship will ensue, marked by passionate support and idealism, subtle poetic wit, and a level of emotional insight that is hard to match. INFPs’ friends will be rewarded with calm, sensitivity and depth, and an ever-present desire to help, learn, and grow. But even the most confident and assertive INFPs will only be able to keep up this relaxed and present exterior for so long.

Even as friendships grow stronger and deeper, and friends are lulled into a sense of mutual understanding, INFPs’ enigmatic qualities will never truly vanish.

INFPs will always need to disappear for a while, removing themselves from others so they can re-center on their own minds and feelings. Often enough people with the INFP personality type will emerge from this time alone having come to some momentous decision that even their closest friends didn’t know was weighing on them, evading even the option of receiving the sort of support and advice they so readily give. Such is INFPs’ way, for better or for worse.

1 year ago
I'm so glad someone has finally put words to my social plight. I am still in high school and just feel very lonely and detached from most people even my friends. I have a diffecult time including myself in my group of friends because I don't want to impose, my friends don't realize this at all. I long to find someone who shares my love of conversing poetic ideals and makes me feel included. I'm desperately hopeing this will get better in College. Regardless this is spot on and I wonder if it has anything to do with being an auditory learner
8 months ago
It seems the struggle will last for ever, I understand.
Ranen Yong
1 year ago
I'm surprised that there are people who feel the same as I do. Though I have a BROTHER who's personality is ESTJ-T, I'm going to take its advice.
1 year ago
Glad to know that I'm not alone. I've been feeling really bad to my new friends because I realize that I might be not really honest with them. I feel fake all the time because I just want to make my friends happy. Sometimes I just want to spit it all to someone, but I never had the courage to be that open. I just need a friend who can understand me, who won't judge me all the time, and won't force me to do what I don't want to do. I have done all of them to everyone, but no one do the same to me. That's actually disappoint me, and I take it personally sometimes
1 year ago
This is me as well
1 year ago
You are not alone I am the exact same way. It makes me feel so isolated. My friends don't include me in activitys outside of school and I don't want to ask for an invite because I don't want to impose. I wonder if they truly want me around or if they just talk to me because no other more desirable person is around. I hate constantly dealing with such solitude and try to find a solution, I still haven't found one however
1 year ago
Aha ! Same with me i dont get socialize & feel shame to ask my friends to involve cause even i dont want to impose...& wait for them aproach ask me atleast more than 2 times :(
1 year ago
This is so me
1 year ago
This is literally me and my friends - the majority of us are infp-t and sometimes when one of us gets really stressed we delete a lot of our social apps for a while e.g whatsapp snapchat ect - some of my other friends don't understand why we do this and for I while I thought we were just really weird - FINALLY Ive found an explanation
8 months ago
My social exclusions in high school were really (internally) heated. I would yell at people online, mute friends in open chat channels that I was just talking to or even quit groups of people all together when I got really angry. On the inside, it's this heated feeling in my heart. I don't know why that happens but it whenever it starts, I always end up getting rid of everyone I know, from every place I know. Then, immediately after, I end up feeling lonely again so I go back or I make new ones. All I can say about this is that, maybe, as mediators (or just me), we're supposed to address our anger with ourselves when we feel it or maybe with other people. Even though I typed that, I'm not sure it's completely possible to even explain how or why it happens. It has to be anger, at least for me. If it is, then introverts may be holding in a lot more emotional guilt, hatred, anger or fear than we give ourselves credit for. I would even get angry at people sometimes for referring to me as a name I made myself. I'm pretty sure this last part stems from me sometimes naming myself something I can't stand like 'Cat' or some other topic that I don't like seeing but I'll make people call me this, just to get really angry later that they made fun of it. All in all, I just really need to find a better way to express to people what I don't like about the world around me, to put it mildly. If I had to explain why I might not like cats, it goes from being just a name to being something more elaborate. Maybe just the entire culture surrounding them bothers me and I might need to learn how to better say it but I've held even something like inside me for years. I've tried with a friend online once to address that fact and he said that cats made him think of narcissists. I took on this identity just to be angry I couldn't stand it, but to say it was all his fault makes no sense and yet, in high school, I would have made it his fault somehow. If I had to keep the conversation simple, maybe the details that mediators ignore gets us into real trouble later. There may be some things we have to say to people or it will just never go away.
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