INFJ Relationships

When it comes to romantic relationships, INFJs take the process of finding a partner seriously. Not ones for casual encounters, people with the INFJ personality type instead look for depth and meaning in their relationships. INFJs will take the time necessary to find someone they truly connect with – once they’ve found that someone, their relationships will reach a level of depth and sincerity that most people can only dream of.

INFJ romantic relationships

Getting to that point can sometimes be a challenge for potential partners, especially if they are the impatient type, as INFJs are often perfectionistic and picky. People with this personality type aren’t easily talked into something they don’t want, and if someone doesn’t pick up on that, it’s a trespass that is unlikely to be forgiven, particularly in the early stages of dating. Even worse is if a suitor tries to resort to manipulation or lying, as INFJs will see right through it, and if there’s anything they have a poor tolerance for in a relationship, it is inauthenticity.

Is This for Real?

One of the things INFJs find most important is establishing genuine, deep connections with the people they care about.

INFJs will go out of their way to seek out people who share their desire for authenticity, and out of their way to avoid those who don’t, especially when looking for a partner. All that being said, INFJs often have the advantage of desirability – they are warm, friendly, caring and insightful, seeing past facades and the obvious to understand others’ thoughts and emotions.

INFJs are enthusiastic in their relationships, and there is a sense of wisdom behind their spontaneity, allowing them to pleasantly surprise their partners again and again. INFJs aren’t afraid to show their love, and they feel it unconditionally, creating a depth to the relationship that can hardly be described in conventional terms. Relationships with INFJs are not for the uncommitted or the shallow.

When it comes to intimacy, INFJs look for a connection that goes beyond the physical, embracing the emotional and even spiritual connection they have with their partner. People with the INFJ personality type are passionate partners, and see intimacy as a way to express their love and to make their partners happy. INFJs cherish not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person, in mind, body and soul.

Samantha
2 years ago
This is so accurate. I'm 22 and I've never had a romantic relationship. I don't want to date just anyone, I want someone who I can connect with. I've never even kissed anyone because I've never met someone I want to kiss. I just hope that I find that special someone.
Anonymous
2 years ago
I was very slow in the romantic department. Used to detest myself for not being capable of jumping into bed with random guys, but now I understand I'd have honestly hated myself, had I forced myself to intimacy with the wrong people. It truly is a fusion of mind, body, and soul in my case. I married my first boyfriend after having turned 30 and while I am divorced now, I'm in no hurry to force things. Would love to have kids before it is too late, but it is more important to be true to this at times very complicated personality that is INFJ. Good luck, Samantha, and don't give up hope, but keep doing things that you enjoy, so you remain happy whilst living your life as a single, it's important!
Anonymous
2 years ago
This is me exactly. I'm a couple years younger, but I too have never even kissed anyone or been in a relationship because I don't want to just settle for anyone. I really want to be with someone that I can connect with emotionally.
Kathy
2 years ago
Everyone's always considered me weird for this very same fact but yes, I'd rather wait and be late than be impulsive and regret. I am special and I want the real deal. I owe it to myself to wait. All the best to us all and keep that self love game strong!
zoie
2 years ago
I am so suprised by this result. I am really picky and it took me awhile to find my boyfriend, who is absolutely perfect for me.
Joshua Mc
2 years ago
It is hard to exist when everywhere you go, you can get along with anyone, but never feel you belong. When your friends in your small school might not be your friends at, all ways having some else to talk to, you are the person they talk to only when their "cool" friends are not around. When your family won't understand the deep connections you need. When you have not personally let any of your true emotions out in years, that is true loneliness, even when surrounded by other people.
Jane Bender
2 years ago
You just put my life in words... Why do I still feel lonely when I'm surrounded by people? Or even when I'm talking to someone else, I still feel alone. Is it because I have the ability to see through people and their masks, but no one seems to have the ability to see through mine? I care so much about other people, and most times I fear they could care less about me. I hate the feeling I get when someone asks me who my best friend is... How could I possibly call someone my best friend when no one knows anything about me?
CertifiedINFJ
2 years ago
I agree. I feel like some people only know a side of me. And nobody really knows the completeness and depth of me. I was in a long term relationship and i used to feel that while with him, i always feel alone. And even when he is sitting beside me. I feel alone and is not being understood
Anonymous
2 years ago
I've had this feeling a lot too. I care about my friends so deeply and lots of times I feel like they don't feel the same way. I've even had instances where I''ve considered someone my best friend but they didn't consider me their best friend :/
Chantal
2 years ago
Wow... I am kind of speechless.. I would have never been able to find words to define/describe myself in this way. When reading others comments below it just makes me feel so good that I'm not the only one. I keep hearing from friends that I am to picky I don't put effort etc... Craving for a genuine relationship says it all. Just thank you for this test and all your comments that makes me see I am not alone like this.
Jane Bender
2 years ago
"The INFJ takes the process of finding a partner very seriously..." -so true! I'm in highschool, and so many of my friends are dating left and right. I think it's stupid. Because, honestly, dating is the way of finding your spouse--not being entertained. If you're not planning on actually marrying someone, WHY ARE YOU WITH THEM? Are you dating them only to break up with them? It honestly makes no sense to me.
Anonymous
2 years ago
YES!!! This is exactly how I felt in high school! I didn't want to waste my time in a meaningless relationship. To me, dating isn't a game. I really want to find someone special that I truly connect with, which is why even at age 20 I've still never kissed nor been in a romantic relationship with anyone and my friends tell me that I'm being picky etc.
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