INFJ Friends

There is a running theme with INFJs, and that is a yearning for authenticity and sincerity – in their activities, their romantic relationships, and their friendships. People with the INFJ personality type are unlikely to go for friendships of circumstance, like workplace social circles or chatting up their local baristas, where the only thing they really have in common is a day-to-day familiarity. Rather, INFJs seek out people who share their passions, interests and ideologies, people with whom they can explore philosophies and subjects that they believe are truly meaningful.

INFJ friends

Closed Book and Speed Reader

From the start, it can be a challenge to get to know INFJs, as they are very private, even enigmatic. INFJs don’t readily share their thoughts and feelings, not unless they are comfortable, and since those thoughts and feelings are the basis for INFJ friendships, it can take time and persistence to get to know them. Meanwhile, INFJs are very insightful and have a particular knack for seeing beyond others’ facades, interpreting intent and compatibility quickly and easily, and weeding out those who don’t share the depth of their idealism.

In friendship it is as though INFJs are searching for a soul mate, someone who shares every facet of their passions and imagination.

INFJs are often perfectionistic, looking for ultimate compatibility, and yet also look for someone with whom they can grow and improve in tandem. Needless to say, this is a tall order, and INFJs should try to remember that they are a particularly rare personality type, and even if they find someone compatible in that sense, the odds that they will also share every interest are slim. If they don’t learn to meet others halfway and recognize that the kind of self-improvement and depth they demand is simply exhausting for many types, INFJs are likely end up abandoning healthy friendships in their infancy, in search of more perfect compatibilities.

Like Finding a Needle in a Haystack

Further complicating things are INFJs’ eloquence and persuasiveness, which lead to a lot of (unwanted) attention and popularity. Their quiet, determined idealism and imaginative expression naturally draw influence, and if there’s anything INFJs avoid, it’s the accumulation of power over others – and the people who are drawn to that type of power. INFJs will find themselves more sought after than they’d ever care to be, making it even more difficult for them to find someone they truly have an affinity with. Really the only way to be counted among INFJs’ true friends is to be authentic, and to have that authenticity naturally reflect their own.

Once a common thread is found though, people with the INFJ personality type make loyal and supportive companions, encouraging growth and life-enriching experiences with warmth, excitement and care. As trust grows, INFJs will share more of what lies beneath the surface, and if those ideas and motives are mutual, it’s the sort of friendship that will transcend time and distance, lasting a lifetime. INFJs don’t require a great deal of day-to-day attention – for them, quality trumps quantity every time, and over the years they will likely end up with just a few true friendships, built on a richness of mutual understanding that forges an indelible link between them.

3 years ago
Being an INFJ, I have always and still am very picky with who I chose to invest my time and effort in as a potential friend. As a result, I have many acquaintances and very few friends I might swap meaningful conversations with. From the time I was an adolescent up until the adult I am today, if I feel that you are not genuine, I have always been quick to drop you quick like a hot potato.
3 years ago
I've always been one to say, at least in my head, if day to day familiarity is what you want, that is exactly what you are going to get, and nothing more. If an actual deep friendship is what you want, that is also what you will get, and so much more.
Peaceful Julie
3 years ago
INFJs get a bad rap. I've been one my whole life :) Yep, 53 years of INFJing. I would like to say that it is VERY important for people to assess the personality type of their children in order to meet their needs. An INFJ child desperately needs a quiet, calm home with plenty of time to decompress. They need to be encouraged in their own little ways. No little jabs at their "talking to themselves", being a daydreamer, or any other weird little ways we have. An INFJ child is a very special person in the making.
Ben Stonebrink
3 years ago
The thing about Dream land is it often seems to bring people into doing great things. I disagree with what you said because who said Dreamland was only Dreamland? I'm not going to go create Disney world or Art without Dreaming it, my brain just doesn't work that way. Rather than trying to change people we should take there attributes and use it for their good, after all it is them. So instead of being ruthless, and getting someone out of a Dreamworld, why not just help them to realize their dreams can be a reality? Then teach your children the stepping stones to get there. Dreams aren't bad unless they take you no where.
Kaylyn P
3 years ago
I am 15 and I had to take this test for my health class. And yeah, it is scary accurate. I've always wondered why I'm the "freak" of my friend groups, I'm just in a 1%. My health teacher was going around guessing who was and extrovert and who was an introvert and he thought I was an extrovert.
3 years ago
Welcome to the club! We've all been mistaken as quiet extraverts... when in reality, we are outspoken introverts.
3 years ago
Wow... This fits perfectly! I'm still looking for a friend though... I feel like no one ever gets me! I'm afraid I'll never find this person...
3 years ago
I AGREE! I only have few friends.. But I know they are true to me so do I to them.. I chose my friends, looking for that connection, but Im not particular with mutual habits we should share, as long as we could connect beyond.. I want friendship that lasts with time and distance. oppsss.. i kind of messed up with the auto spell in my phonee.. haha.
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