INFJ Friends

There is a running theme with INFJs, and that is a yearning for authenticity and sincerity – in their activities, their romantic relationships, and their friendships. People with the INFJ personality type are unlikely to go for friendships of circumstance, like workplace social circles or chatting up their local baristas, where the only thing they really have in common is a day-to-day familiarity. Rather, INFJs seek out people who share their passions, interests and ideologies, people with whom they can explore philosophies and subjects that they believe are truly meaningful.

INFJ friends

Closed Book and Speed Reader

From the start, it can be a challenge to get to know INFJs, as they are very private, even enigmatic. INFJs don’t readily share their thoughts and feelings, not unless they are comfortable, and since those thoughts and feelings are the basis for INFJ friendships, it can take time and persistence to get to know them. Meanwhile, INFJs are very insightful and have a particular knack for seeing beyond others’ facades, interpreting intent and compatibility quickly and easily, and weeding out those who don’t share the depth of their idealism.

In friendship it is as though INFJs are searching for a soul mate, someone who shares every facet of their passions and imagination.

INFJs are often perfectionistic, looking for ultimate compatibility, and yet also look for someone with whom they can grow and improve in tandem. Needless to say, this is a tall order, and INFJs should try to remember that they are a particularly rare personality type, and even if they find someone compatible in that sense, the odds that they will also share every interest are slim. If they don’t learn to meet others halfway and recognize that the kind of self-improvement and depth they demand is simply exhausting for many types, INFJs are likely end up abandoning healthy friendships in their infancy, in search of more perfect compatibilities.

Like Finding a Needle in a Haystack

Further complicating things are INFJs’ eloquence and persuasiveness, which lead to a lot of (unwanted) attention and popularity. Their quiet, determined idealism and imaginative expression naturally draw influence, and if there’s anything INFJs avoid, it’s the accumulation of power over others – and the people who are drawn to that type of power. INFJs will find themselves more sought after than they’d ever care to be, making it even more difficult for them to find someone they truly have an affinity with. Really the only way to be counted among INFJs’ true friends is to be authentic, and to have that authenticity naturally reflect their own.

Once a common thread is found though, people with the INFJ personality type make loyal and supportive companions, encouraging growth and life-enriching experiences with warmth, excitement and care. As trust grows, INFJs will share more of what lies beneath the surface, and if those ideas and motives are mutual, it’s the sort of friendship that will transcend time and distance, lasting a lifetime. INFJs don’t require a great deal of day-to-day attention – for them, quality trumps quantity every time, and over the years they will likely end up with just a few true friendships, built on a richness of mutual understanding that forges an indelible link between them.

Lost and Wandering
2 years ago
I'm an INFJ, and I just want someone to be the same as me. I'm a 14 year old girl, and I keep finding ways that show I'm different from everyone else. For example, my personality makes up less than 1% of the population, I'm left handed, a tomboy, and my gift is love. I feel left out and like I have no one to turn to because I am to shy to open up.... Someone help?
2 years ago
I'm a 14 year old girl too, I'm right handed and used to be a tomboy (still partially am). I feel isolated because there always seems to be no one anything like me, that even share similar interests. Most people would describe me as an extravert, but I need time away from people to 'recharge' and am exhausted after lots of social interaction. I find it very hard to properly open up to anyone. I think I have the same kind of problem as you.
Anonymous
1 year ago
Hello I'm a infj also and I have the same problem. Sometimes I just push people away when I need them.
ENFJ-T
1 year ago
You sound like a very nice person :) I'm an ENFJ so I don't think I can help with 'being someone like you', sorry. But I really (and I mean REALLY) admire and understand INFJ's. So my advice to you is to maybe not for someone who is the same as you (if you can't find one) but look for someone who understands and is willing to support you in any way, and to do that you will have to get to know people more and let them now you a bit more (if you are comfortable) and you will hopefully find someone who will admire you for being you and will try to help in any way to make you feel welcomed and understood. Remember their are people in the world waiting to meet someone soo amazing as you, you just have to try to find them and try to get to know them. Hope that helps and I wish you luck! :) - An ENFJ
BloJo
1 year ago
Hey, don't feel left out :) I'm and ENFP but i get how you feel. I grew up with 4 brothers so i'm a tomboy 2 and i am a really sensitive, feeling person and i always feel like i am the only one that thinks like me... But actually I'm not, and I've found that being unique is a good thing. For instance I am willing to get my hands dirty and have fun because I am a tomboy :D
INFP-A Artist, Poet, and Wannabe Biologist
2 years ago
there may not be many INFJs but there are some INFPs. we're very similar. My friend cirlce includes 2-3 INFPs 1 defender, 1 INFJ and several unknown. we get along really well and talk about meaningful stuff. so even if there aren't many INFJs there are still more options.
2 years ago
I had my best friend take this quiz today, and of course she and I are both INFJ. We're lucky I suppose. :)
Anonymous
2 years ago
I so wish I had a friend with my personality, you are so lucky!!!
Hunter Brown
2 years ago
Me and two of my closest fiends are INFJ, one INFP, two ISTJs, one ESFJ and one unknown. Every time I've become really close friends with someone in the past, I've eventually unintentionally fallen in love with her, and it's never exactly worked out, but I am trying something new (or something traditional depending on your point of view) this time, pursuing a romantic connection from the start.. Kind of wish I had a bit more Observant quality, I might've been able to get to know this person for three years but alas I was focused on others and hardly noticed her until only one year remained. (btw this is school in case you're wondering why such a time limit would exist.)
Subi
2 years ago
I've always looked for "the one" who fits the bill perfectly. Since childhood, and sadly I still am. Several years of a tireless search has worned me out, yes, and sometimes I even feel like there is no such thing as "the one", I still want to believe that the person I've been looking for is out there. Oh well, who knows, maybe I'll never be able to find one but at least it should be worth a try.
Anonymous
2 years ago
I've been searching for the perfect friend for forever and a half, still haven't found him/her but I know I will, and u will too :)
2 months ago
My “perfect one” sadly lives in Iceland, and is an INFP, which is still close, at least. But I haven’t found any people who are close enough to being like me that I can relate to and get close to locally :/
Maggles
2 years ago
Are INFJs normally possessive? Because I found a friend who likes pretty much everything I do, but now they hang out with other friends who I have nothing in common with, and said friend says they are still my bestie but I'm not sure anymore, as they seem to avoid me. When I try hanging out with them and their friends they just ignore me and I have to make conversation, which is hard. And apart from that I have one crazy friend I'm happy with, one friend who is getting closer to me, one crazy friend I rarely hang out with and one friend I hardly ever see. Well, it's right, I am picky with friends and I can sorta tell who can be a potential friend from certain things about them, I'm not sure what yet. But I like smart people.
Lost and Wandering
2 years ago
I know how you feel. My friends are friends but the one I can actually talk to is a senior in high school and I'm only an 8th grader. Once she's gone I don't know what I'm going to do.
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