ESTP Relationships

When it comes to romantic relationships, people with the ESTP personality type can hardly be said to be pining away for their wedding day. Life is fun and full of surprises (something ESTPs have particular skill in delivering), and they enjoy it all in the here and now. ESTPs may not spend a lot of time planning for "someday", but their enthusiasm and unpredictability make them thrilling dating partners.

ESTPs’ relationships are far from boring. Their improvisational style creates a seemingly never-ending list of activities and hobbies to be involved in, and ESTPs fully encourage their partners to partake.

ESTPs love new ideas and the occasional philosophical discussion – but they need to be topics that can explored through action together, not just idle talk. There’s musing about the causes and effects of epidemic obesity, and there’s training for a marathon together to promote healthy living.

ESTP romantic relationships

As Good as Spring Itself

Sexually, ESTPs have no real reservations. It’s fun, it’s physically enjoyable, new ideas are always welcome, and ESTP personalities’ strong perception keeps them well-tuned to their partners’ needs. However, ESTPs’ separation of the physical act from the more emotional and spiritual connections that many other types look for in intimacy can be a serious source of tension if everybody isn’t on the same page. Some types need sex to be a genuine expression of love – ESTPs just aren’t one of them.

As time passes, it can be challenging for ESTPs to move their relationships to deeper, more emotionally intimate levels. Easily bored, people with the ESTP personality type seek constant excitement – sometimes even intentionally exposing themselves to risk if they feel stuck. If their partners aren’t able to keep up, ESTPs may just end up looking for someone new. It’s not that ESTP personalities are unfaithful. Rather, they may think to themselves "This isn’t working, so why should I pretend it is?" ESTPs are rational, and can exercise self-control if they choose, but being as charming and popular as they are, it can sometimes be a little too easy to move on.

Travel Only With Those You Love

As with any relationship, it takes work and patience. Not every day can be a thrill a minute. But ESTPs are adaptable, curious individuals, which certainly helps to keep the flame burning. Maintaining healthy relationships is the ultimate chance for ESTPs to exercise their talents in perceiving every change in their partners’ mood and behavior, while also using their problem-solving abilities to address their needs. ESTPs can also strengthen more neglected traits, like emotional sensitivity and long-term planning.

The best partners to help these opportunities for growth along share the Observant (S) trait, and tend towards the Introverted (I) and Judging (J) ends of the spectrum. These qualities help ESTPs to appreciate a more introspective and consistent attitude, while ESTPs themselves can help their partners to loosen up a bit and get out of the house on the spur of the moment and actually have some fun.

1 year ago
I disagree with this running commentary that Intuitive (N) types can't have great relationships with Observant (S) types, and vice versa. I'm an extremely intuitive person, and some - many - of the most rewarding (and close) relationships I've had are with people who lean heavily in the exact opposite direction. Sure, these relationships can be challenging, but that's what makes them worth it. They force you to confront things about yourself and others that you wouldn't if you only tried to connect with people who are like you. It takes all kinds to make the world go round, and if you can't tolerate differences in love, life, and the workplace... you might be somewhat of a narcissist.
1 year ago
Totally me
1 year ago
Reliable and consistent... good one
Tyler Blanchette
4 years ago
I find this to be very inspiring about myself, and knowing these types of things are sometimes more true than you may even think. So I enjoy reading things like this to perhaps, "find more about myself that I never knew before." Very helpful.
Jane Bender
4 years ago
aha, my sister is an ESTP and she's hilarious in the "romance" department. she's pretty, and this type generally attracts people, and she was talking to me about this one guy who likes her, and he would do something kind of sweet/awkward, and she would talk to me afterward: "Why does it have to be awkward? Don't do nice things for me! Don't compliment me! I don't know how to respond! I don't HAVE emotions!" I thought that was the funniest thing. She recognizes she has no emotional capacity whatsoever, and really doesn't care. I teased her about being the stereotypical "guy" in the relationship. she said (
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