As in most aspects of their lives, in friendship Commanders seek personal growth and inspiration, and they often have a plan for how to accomplish it. Friendships of circumstance, built on things like shared routines, are not Commanders’ preferred method – rather, they pursue their friends, seek out individuals who share their passion for deep, meaningful discussions, and who enjoy learning and development as much as they do. It is not always easy to be Commanders’ friends – they demand a lot from these relationships – but they pay a great deal of attention to their friendships, and it is unlikely that it will ever feel stagnant.
Commander friendships are built on ideas, and a lot of what they find enjoyable is the repartee of putting thoughts forward and defending them from assault from every angle. People with the Commander personality type are very smart and highly critical, and they won’t back down if they are put on the defensive – in fact, there’s no better way to earn their respect.
Only the most hardened rationalists are able to hold their ground against strongly expressed Commander personalities, who neither need emotional support, nor understand others’ need for it. This lack of sensitivity is Commanders’ chiefest weakness. Their tendency to challenge their friends, question their conclusions, and dismiss emotional arguments as irrelevant is especially difficult for Feeling-oriented friends to cope with. Either a point is supported by logic and reason, or it is erroneous.
Bridging the Gap
More enlightened Commanders recognize that if ever there was an area where they could learn from others and improve themselves, it is in the realm of emotional sensitivity – to dismiss any aspect of personal growth borders on hypocrisy. Friendships with people from the Diplomat type group can be especially rewarding for Commanders, as the shared Intuitive (N) trait fosters an instantaneous connection that can bridge the chasm between their uninhibited logic and the recognition that cooperation and conciliation can often accomplish more than that logic ever could alone.
Still, the bulk of Commanders’ friends will likely fall into the Analyst category, as all of these types share the same passion for logical, far-reaching ideas and critical debate. Anyone who can match Commanders’ ability to brainstorm and theorize will find an honest and dedicated friend. Anyone who can’t or won’t, as with many more down-to-earth types who often question the point of such discussions, will find themselves ignored – perhaps a situation that is best for everyone.