The Joys of Being Single, by Personality Type

Laura’s avatar

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and you know what that means: red roses, heart-shaped everything, and a whole lot of miserable single people.

Just kidding! Being single can be pretty wonderful, as many of you already know. According to our research, 71% of you, our 16Personalities readers, say that your friendships get stronger when you’re not in a relationship, and 68% of you report that being single makes you more open to new experiences.

Still, as February 14 approaches, the single folks among you may want to brace yourselves for all those kissy pictures and mushy captions that are about to flood your social media feeds. So, without further ado, here’s the best thing about being single for each personality type.

Analyst Personality Types

Architect (INTJ): Something to Prove

If you’re an Architect, you could probably be the one writing this article. People with this personality type are known for an unusually strong ability to resist social expectations – including the expectation that it’s somehow “better” to be in a romantic relationship. For Architects, being single is an opportunity to prove to the world that a person’s success and value has nothing to do with their relationship status. That said, even the hardiest of Architects feel lonely or insecure at times, so don’t be afraid to lean on your friends when you need them. Trust me: they’ll be honored to be there for you.

Logician (INTP): Sweet, Sweet Freedom

If there’s anything this personality type chafes against, it’s expectations. Logicians generally do their own thing, but they can’t help but fret – even if it’s only in a tiny corner of their mind – about other people’s visions of who or what they should be. If you’re a single Logician, you probably equate singleness with freedom – a time to figure out your own values and expectations for yourself and to focus on living up to those rather than pleasing someone else.

Commander (ENTJ): A Dash of Mystique

Commanders are hardly shy, but they’re not open books either. These personalities know the value of being a bit – shall we say – enigmatic. And let’s face it, there’s no better time to be enigmatic than when you’re single. If you’re a Commander who hasn’t met your match, chances are the people in your life are curious about your motivations and what you’re looking for. They might want to set you up on blind dates – or even try to sidle up to you themselves. So enjoy this opportunity to build up your mystique and leave people wondering.

Debater (ENTP): Flirty Banter

Do you know someone who loves to lose themselves in romantic daydreams or fantasies? (Mediators, we’re looking at you.) Well, that’s how Debaters are about flirty banter. Nothing fires up this personality type like a fast-paced, bracing, Elizabeth-and-Darcy-style exchange – although Debaters might indulge in a bit more innuendo than Jane Austen would have used. If you’re a Debater, then the good news about being single is that you can sharpen your wits and engage in this type of repartee whenever you please, all without risk of upsetting a significant other.

Diplomat Personality Types

Advocate (INFJ): Control of Your Social Calendar

Sure, romantic partners can be lovely, but for Introverts like Advocates, committed relationships come with a major downside: social obligations. If you’re an Advocate, one joy of being single is that you don’t need to drag yourself to happy hour with your significant other’s friends or to their family’s holiday party when you’re really craving a few hours at home.

Mediator (INFP): Guilt-Free Crushes

Mediators are nothing if not dreamers. If you’re a Mediator, chances are you sometimes escape into daydreams about your favorite celebrity or fictional character. (Mediators are notorious for empathizing with fictional characters.) But these personalities are also known for being incredibly considerate – sometimes to a fault – so when you’re in a relationship, you might feel guilty about these fantasies, no matter how harmless they may be. The good news? Being single means that you can indulge in these crushes guilt-free. So dream on, single Mediators.

Protagonist (ENFJ): Rebooted Friendships

Protagonists are known for bringing people together. When they’re in a relationship, they tend to take on most (if not all) of their partners’ friends as their own. But even the most Extraverted personalities can only prioritize so many people at once. For Protagonists, being single is an opportunity to focus on their longtime friends, ensuring that they don’t lose sight of the way these friends might be growing or changing with time.

Campaigner (ENFP): Self-Reliance

Campaigners are team players. But even for this cooperative type, there’s something to be said for learning that you can stand on your own two feet. If you’re a Campaigner, embrace singleness as an opportunity to discover the joys of doing things on your own. You might find that you actually enjoy watching a movie or taking on a project without having to filter through other people’s reactions and opinions.

Sentinel Personality Types

Logistician (ISTJ): Getting Your Life in Order

When Logisticians are in a relationship, they want to do it right. This, unfortunately, doesn’t always leave them with as much time and energy as they’d like to get their lives in order. If this is your personality type, then one of the joys of being single for you is that you can focus on goals and projects that make you feel grounded, secure, and capable – whether that means completing home renovations, pursuing a degree, or coming up with the perfect way to organize your record collection.

Defender (ISFJ): Self-Confidence

You know who can do pretty much anything? Defenders. You know who doesn’t always realize that? You guessed it: Defenders. People with this personality type are steadfast, committed, and hardworking, but they tend to have a narrow view of what they are or aren’t good at. In relationships, people may want their partner to take care of certain situations they don’t think they can handle themselves, especially situations that involve conflict or unpredictability. But if you’re a single Defender, then you’ll probably need to handle these things on your own – even if that means you have to be the one to knock on your neighbor’s door at 3:00 a.m. to ask them to turn down their music. And that, dear Defender, might be what it takes for you to realize just how unstoppable you truly are.

Executive (ESTJ): Unilateral Decision-Making

Yes, relationships can be wonderful opportunities for learning and growth. But you know what? Sometimes you just want to load the dishwasher your way, without having to explain to anyone which way the forks should go. Executives are notorious for their strong opinions and their clear visions of how things “should” be done. If you’re an Executive, then maybe you could stand to work on your flexibility someday. But for now, enjoy the simple pleasures of being able to do things exactly as you see fit, without having to defer to a romantic partner’s preferences (and poor dishwasher-loading technique).

Consul (ESFJ): Palentine’s Day

If there’s a personality type that struggles with being single, this is probably it. Consuls tend to be strongly focused on relationships, and they can be sensitive to social expectations. But singlehood has its silver linings, even for these personalities. If you’re a single Consul, you can use your community spirit and innate hospitality to do something that gives you a deep sense of meaning: bringing people together. So channel your inner Leslie Knope and put together a special Palentine’s Day–style surprise for the other single people in your life (all genders welcome). This activity can help remind you that your gifts and talents as a Consul can bolster all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones.

Explorer Personality Types

Virtuoso (ISTP): Not Having to Talk about Your Feelings

Let’s say this right off the bat: talking about your feelings is, generally, a good thing. But it can also be exhausting, especially for Thinking types like Virtuosos. And goodness knows that even the most casual of relationships tend to come with plenty of emotional conversations – whether it’s the classic “define the relationship” talk or the dreaded question, Are you mad at me or something? So if this is your personality type, go ahead and bask in the relief of not having to navigate any emotional land mines this Valentine’s Day.

Adventurer (ISFP): Alone Time

Adventurers, like all Introverts, need alone time to recharge whenever they’re feeling stressed or burned out. But people with this personality type don’t always find it easy to set boundaries. The result is that, when they’re in a relationship, they may end up with less alone time than they’d prefer – especially if their partner is one of those let’s-spend-as-much-time-together-as-possible types. For single Adventurers, one of the great joys of being single is not having to justify taking some time to yourself when you need it. If this is you, set aside some time this Valentine’s Day to doodle in your journal, read a book, take a hike, or do whatever makes you feel happy and whole.

Entrepreneur (ESTP): Self-Care

Entrepreneurs are pretty much always on the go. People to see, places to go, things to do is pretty much this personality type’s motto. Add a romantic relationship into the mix, and Entrepreneurs are liable to jam even more into their already overflowing social calendars. And that leaves them with less time for less exciting stuff like, you know, sleep and regular meals. If you’re an Entrepreneur, look at singlehood as a chance to make sure that you’re taking adequate care of yourself. That way, you’ll have even more energy for your next adventure.

Entertainer (ESFP): Style Points

Entertainers have a flamboyant side. They tend to gravitate toward the latest fashions, decorate their homes colorfully, and experiment with the most cutting-edge trends. For people with this personality type, being single allows them to embrace their own style without worrying about a romantic partner’s approval. If you’re an Entertainer, relish this freedom to be impractical and experimental with your aesthetic choices – whether that means dyeing your hair blue, indulging in a fancy new pair of shoes, or painting an out-of-this-world mural on your bedroom wall.

All the Single People

So, readers, what do you love most about being single? Tell us in the comments below!

Further Reading

  • If you’re looking for a little more help getting through the upcoming holiday, check out our “Surviving Valentine’s Day” guide for single people.
  • If you’re in a relationship and unsure how to spend the day, we’ve got some ideas for you too: “Valentine’s Dates and Personality Traits: What Do People Want?
  • Why not take this Valentine’s Day to celebrate more of what makes your personality type special? Our Premium Profiles offer in-depth insights into your personality type, including how you can build on your strengths to enhance your relationships, career, personal growth, and much more.