Valentine’s Dates and Personality Traits: What Do People Want?

Trying to plan the “perfect” Valentine’s Day celebration can be stressful for any personality type, especially if it’s a surprise for your sweetie. Will they like it?

Of course, planning together can make things awesome, but sometimes it’s hard to be totally honest with each other about what you want. Especially for a holiday that is apparently supposed to have your hearts beating in time as you perform some sort of Disneyesque musical number together.

But this is 16Personalities, and we offer knowledge – no singing, no dancing. (We do a happy little wiggle when you leave us comments, though.)

Because we totally heart you, our valued reader, we created a Valentine’s Day survey to investigate people’s celebration preferences. (We’d love for you to take that survey. We also love chocolate.) Here, we’ll look at how some of the responses differ depending on personality traits. (Note: the statistics we discuss below are current as of February 12, 2020.)

This knowledge can help you plan a Valentine’s date that will keep your sweetheart engaged, or help you propose (relax…we’re teasing you) ideas they’ll like as you plan together. Keep your partner’s personality traits in mind as you read, and go from there.

So, without further ado, let’s get to the ardor data we adore!


Survey question: “Is it important to you to celebrate Valentine’s Day in some manner?”

This question matters because some people may be happy just to let Valentine’s Day pass by without doing much. That’s up to you and your beau to decide, and it might not only be about your respective preferences but also your schedules, right? Sometimes life happens in an unromantic way, and that’s okay.

But what we can say is that Extraverts are 21 percentage points more likely than Introverts to answer yes to this question. Personality types with the Feeling trait are 25 percentage points more likely to agree than those with the Thinking trait. If that doesn’t tell you what degree of Valentine’s celebration your partner secretly desires, you could always resort to asking them.


Survey question: “For Valentine’s Day, would you prefer to go somewhere with your partner, or spend the evening together at home?”

You can probably guess where this one is going if you know anything at all about personality types.

Extraverts are 25 percentage points more likely than Introverts to say they’d rather go out for a Valentine’s date than stay home. For Extraverted couples, it may be a no-brainer to head out for dinner (or whatever), but those in love with Introverts might want to keep in mind how draining that can be for their partner. That energy could be spent on you rather than traffic and strangers.

And if you’re an Introverted partner to a more outgoing personality type, don’t feel bad if you want (and ask) to have a romantic dinner date at home. They may be perfectly happy to plan a Valentine’s night in, especially if you give them a good reason. (We’ll let you decide what that might mean.)


Survey question: “Whether at home or out, would you prefer a fancier or simpler Valentine’s date?”

Overall, roughly 80% of respondents say they’d like a simpler Valentine’s Day date. But there is a little variance: we’re not sure what counts as fancy, but whatever it is, Introverts are 15 percentage points less likely than Extraverts to say they want it. But if one or both of you is Extraverted and you go out, maybe ask for extra ice cubes in your water or a second fork for your salad.

And if you stay home, maybe splurge for a scented candle that isn’t from the dollar store. A fun way to make any dinner feel more upscale is to add a light sprinkling of finely chopped fresh herbs. Nothing says fancy like Flamin’ Hot Cheetos served with a dusting of coriander leaf, eh?


Survey question: “Would you prefer to get a sentimental or functional Valentine’s Day gift?”

Feeling personality types are 37 percentage points (!) more likely than Thinking types to say they’d like a sentimental gift versus a functional one, and Turbulent personalities are 13 percentage points more likely than Assertive types to feel the same. A Valentine’s gift that evokes your personal connection together (a token of a joyful shared experience, for example) can remind Feeling types how much they are loved.

Picking a functional gift for Thinking types can be tricky because they apply arcane technical parameters. One trick to bypass pickiness is to replace a worn-out, semifunctional item they already own and love with a new one. (But don’t be surprised if they keep the old one, too – they’re more sentimental than they let on.)

Social Media

Survey question: “For Valentine’s Day, would you love to see your partner post something about you on social media?”

For this question, we have an unromantic amount of numbers to mention (sorry): Extraverts are 16 percentage points more likely to agree than Introverts, Feeling personality types are 17 percentage points more likely to agree than Thinking types, and those with a Turbulent Identity are 13 percentage points more likely to agree than those with an Assertive Identity. Whew.

Which, if any, of those traits does your partner have? (It’s okay to use your fingers to tick traits off as you go – we do.) Keep in mind that the definition of “something” is wide open, so if you post about your sweetheart, focus on their uniqueness…including their personality type.

Dressing Up

Survey question: “Would you like your partner to dress up specially for a Valentine’s date together?”

Would it surprise you to know that Introverted, Thinking types were less likely to care about this than others? (If not, you probably know one, or are one.) Specifically, Introverts are 15 percentage points less likely to agree than Extraverts, and Thinking types are 12 percentage points less likely to agree than Feeling types.

But what if you’re a Feeling or Extraverted personality type and your partner isn’t? Obviously, feel free to dress up as much as you want. And keep in mind that what counts as “dressing up” might be relative – and you can give someone credit for trying. We’d also like to point out that on this holiday, any outfit is improved by the application of large, glitter-covered hearts. Just saying.


Survey question: “Would you enjoy socializing with others as part of your Valentine’s Day celebrations?”

That might seem like an odd idea to many people, but not completely so for Extraverts, who are 34 percentage points more likely to agree than Introverts. Feeling personality types are 13 percentage points more likely to agree than Thinking types, as well. We’d guess that this has more to do with these personalities’ general social behavior than the specific holiday itself.

A potentially fun way to approach this idea might be a “game date” where couples play as teams – anything from video games at home to a bowling party out. Or, maybe just a classic double date to a movie theater. And hey, if you’re athletic, a tug-of-war over a roiling pit of candy hearts is a great way to decide which couple foots the bill.

Plan a Day to Love

We hope these personality insights are helpful as you’re deciding how you’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day with your sweetheart. There’s no substitute for getting to know each other’s hearts and minds, but the statistical tendencies associated with personality traits are sometimes a helpful reference point.

That said, maybe you shouldn’t take all the advice we gave above seriously – some of it may have been on the lighter side. Whatever you do, we hope it’s fun and makes you both happy.

Oh, and there’s one other thing. We “popped the question” ourselves, in that Valentine’s Day survey:

“Would you like to get engaged or married on Valentine’s Day?”

Overall agreement averaged among all respondents is only 14%. An amusing coincidence with the date of this holiday, but an eye-opening statistical “no thanks” for most people. Just in case you were wondering.

What’s your personality type and Valentine’s Day plan? Let us know in the comments below!

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