Mediators (INFPs) define success on their own terms. People with this personality type are dreamers and idealists. Unless their daily lives feel meaningful on a deep level, they won’t be satisfied with money, fame, power, or other conventional benchmarks of success.
It would be a mistake to think that Mediators don’t have ambitions – they most certainly do. But, unfortunately, they tend not to be satisfied with the progress they’ve made toward their goals. Here are a few examples from our surveys:
- Just 37% of Mediators say they’re satisfied with what they’ve achieved in life so far.
- Only 45% consider themselves good at executing their ideas.
- A scant 28% – less than any other personality type – say they usually meet their own expectations.
So…what’s going on here? Why are people with this idealistic, big-dreaming personality type getting so stuck? Are Mediators setting unrealistic standards for themselves, or is something else going on?
This article will identify a couple of stumbling blocks that often trip up Mediators – and two secrets to success that can help people with this personality get back up and make progress toward their unique dreams and goals.
Stumbling Block #1: The Inner Critic
From the outside, most Mediators come across as positive, optimistic people. They’re more than happy to be the supportive, you-can-do-it cheerleaders in their friends’ and loved ones’ lives.
Inside Mediators’ own minds, however, things can be less rosy. A full 78% of Mediators say they often find themselves stuck in negative thought patterns – more than any other personality type.
These negative thoughts often take the form of a critical inner voice – a.k.a. “the inner critic” – that tells Mediators that they’re not good enough, they’re falling short of their potential, and they’re letting other people down. With that voice in their heads, these personality types can lose faith in their ability to surmount challenges and achieve their goals.
Success Secret #1: Self-Awareness
People with the Mediator personality type are deeply attuned to their inner landscape. This self-awareness can help them recognize their inner critic, which is the first step in diminishing its power.
Imagine this: You’re trying to get some work done, just minding your own business, when the thought pops into your head that your work isn’t good enough and other people will judge you for it. If you don’t deal with this thought, chances are it will linger in the back (or perhaps the front) of your mind and sap your motivation.
The good news is that Mediators can use their awareness to recognize when their inner critic is firing up in this way. They can then reassure themselves, the same way that they would reassure a friend – for example, “This project means a lot to you, so it’s natural that you care what others will think of it. But your self-critical thoughts are just thoughts. They aren’t necessarily true, and they certainly aren’t a reason to give up.”
Stumbling Block #2: Disorganization
Being organized doesn’t necessarily come naturally to Mediators. Many people with this personality type love to collect things that inspire them – from volumes of poetry to quotes on sticky notes. They also love to collect all kinds of ideas, images, and dreams in their minds, which is why Mediators can come across as particularly daydreamy or abstracted to other people.
It makes perfect sense that Mediators want to surround themselves and fill their minds with sources of inspiration. But if they let themselves get disorganized, people with this personality type can lose track of important things – such as deadlines, assignments, or even their own passion projects. As a result, many Mediators find themselves feeling overwhelmed, distracted, and frustrated, and they may lose confidence in their ability to stay on top of things.
Success Secret #2: Values
Here’s something that does come naturally to Mediators: values. People with this personality type tend to feel deeply connected to what matters most to them in life. And by drawing on their core values, Mediators can set priorities that help them feel both fulfilled and capable.
As idealists, Mediators may want to make everything in their lives high priority – every idea, every project, every relationship, every scrap of paper with an inspiring quote scribbled on it. But the irony is that when everything is high priority, nothing is high priority. Instead, it’s all too easy to lose track of the important things in a jumbled mess of obligations, tasks, and sticky notes.
Mediators can take time every day – ideally, before their attention is swept in another direction – to reflect on and reconnect with their values. They can then decide which tasks and activities they should prioritize that day in order to move themselves in alignment with these values. This way, Mediators are organizing their lives according to what matters to them – which they’ll probably find more gratifying than sorting things into color-coded cubbies or sticking to rigid to-do lists.
Conclusion: Onward and Onward!
You know that expression onward and upward? Well, life doesn’t always work that way. At one point or another, we all experience setbacks, and we all make mistakes. Success isn’t about doing things perfectly – it’s about continuing to strive toward goals that make you feel inspired and impassioned.
So if you’re a Mediator, keep on keeping on. You won’t always get it right, and that’s just fine. The surest way to pursue your own vision of success is to keep moving forward – onward and onward.
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