“I’ll Do It Myself!”: What Fuels INTJ Self-Reliance?

It’s often said that no one is an island – we’re all interconnected and best off when we depend on one another. However, there are those people who prefer to live away from the mainland, doing things their own way, relying on themselves, and exploring their own unique paths.

Most people with the INTJ personality type (Architects) feel slightly out of step with the masses, strongly preferring to not only define a unique path for their lives but also to walk it independently. It isn’t that they don’t value the “mainland” – meaning the resources, support, knowledge, and companionship that’s available in broader society. But more than most personality types, INTJs seem to want to rely on themselves. Our research bears this out.

More than 73% of INTJs surveyed – the highest percentage of any personality type – say they’re often disappointed by other people because they expect too much from them. At 92%, INTJs are also the most likely personality type to say that they consciously avoid being dependent on others. And 93% of INTJs surveyed say they prefer to perform everyday activities alone – a higher agreement rate than any other type and 10 points higher than even the overall average for Introverts.

But while INTJs stand out statistically for their attitudes around self-reliance, they’re hardly alone. Nor, frankly, is being self-reliant an odd concept – many societies revere “strong, independent” people. In our “Independence” survey, most respondents say they want to become more independent, and while some people want to stay the same, almost none want to become less independent. Apparently, there’s a difference between appreciating what the mainland can do for you and wanting to be dependent on the mainland. Perhaps INTJ personalities aren’t unusual in their desire for self-reliance, just ahead of the curve.

But what’s left if you don’t rely on others, and why is such independence so desirable? For INTJs, independence isn’t necessarily just about practicality, avoiding disappointment in others, or unsocial impulses. It can actually be about something fairly lofty and emotional: the joy of personal accomplishment. What are skill and knowledge worth if they’re not put to good use? Achieving something of importance through personal ability feels exhilarating and empowering in a way that having it handed to you does not – though that can feel wonderful too!

INTJs and other personalities who favor self-reliance tend to revel in the exercise of their abilities. There are pragmatic reasons for wanting to be self-reliant, but self-reliance also creates emotional rewards like a sense of security, confidence, and happiness in life. It feels good to be taken care of, but knowing that you can take care of yourself is, for some people, an even greater satisfaction. That state of joy comes from having personal agency – the ability to effectively and deliberately alter events and one’s environment. For INTJs, personal agency is one of the most valuable things in life – but it’s not always easy to achieve or maintain.

Not all of the components of personal agency are under one’s own control – much to the disappointment of INTJs everywhere. Yet the pursuit of independent effectiveness that forms the underlying theme for most INTJs’ lives runs parallel to the development of agency – and it’s also the reason why these personalities don’t always feel comfortable on the “mainland.” In a world where many people expect someone else to do something for them, INTJs often find themselves seeking their own solutions. But the smartest perceptions and theories aren’t enough – at times, agency requires a bit of boldness and bravery.

The thing about self-reliance is that it requires a lot of effort. Part of the reason why most people live on the mainland is that the division of labor can be a very efficient way to get things done. So INTJs (and other personalities) who strike out on an independent path must accept an increased share of heavy lifting in exchange for the positive benefits that they may gain by being self-reliant. That’s not necessarily bad, but it’s important to recognize that it’s one thing to want to do things your own way, and it’s another to actually get them done by yourself.

Being independent requires you to step from thought into tangible action on a regular basis – and stay active to achieve your goals. So our advice to INTJs (and other personality types) who are intent on self-reliance – whatever their reasons – is to prepare to enjoy the process of achievement at least as much as its results. You’ll be putting in a lot of work, so it might as well be fun. And give the mainland its due even as you enjoy the island life. Any assistance that you receive and fundamental structures that you benefit from only strengthen the foundation of what you can proudly achieve on your own.

Further Reading

• If you’re ready to increase your agency, deepen your self-reliance, and maximize your effectiveness as an INTJ personality, check out the Architect Guide to Personal Agency.
• Explore the many challenges and advantages of being an INTJ-T (Turbulent Architect) with Turbulent Architect Superpowers.
• For a comprehensive set of resources to help you achieve your personal, professional, and relationship goals, check out our Premium Architect Suite of guides and tests.