“How do I know if someone’s into me?”
Oh boy. This is a question we get from you, our readers, all the time. You ask us if that Architect classmate of yours is being rude or trying (not very successfully, it seems) to flirt. And what about that Campaigner from work – are they that friendly with everyone, or might they be especially interested in you?
To be honest, the best reply to these questions is probably, “Just ask them.” You can beg all your friends for advice, search the Internet for hours, and write a fifty-page dissertation on that last text message you got from your crush (“k thanks later”???) – and still have no idea how they feel about you.
But you already knew that, right? And if it were so easy to just walk up to someone and say, “Hey, do you like me?” – well, we all probably would have done that already, thank you very much.
So, with that in mind, here are our (very tongue-in-cheek) top tips on how to tell if someone is into you, by personality type.
Analyst Personality Types
Architects
If they’re into you: You’ll have a sneaking suspicion that they disagree with you less than they do with other people. You may also occasionally catch them looking at you when they think you’re not paying attention.
If they’re not into you: Uh, trust us, you’ll know.
Logicians
If they’re into you: They’ll ask for your opinion on various topics, from climate change to abstract art to Southeast Asian history. You may feel weirdly flattered by their attention, even if you’re not totally sure why.
If they’re not into you: They’ll forget your name, even if you’ve already met ten times.
Commanders
If they’re into you: Don’t worry, they’ll ask you out. They may suggest a first date that shows off their skills or their surprisingly good taste – perhaps an outing to the archery range or dinner at some awesome restaurant that you’ve never heard of.
If they’re not into you: They’ll poke fun at you. And, because it all seems good-natured enough to them, they won’t understand why you get upset.
Debaters
If they’re into you: They’ll disagree with everything you say, just to get a rise out of you.
If they’re not into you: They’ll disagree with everything you say, just to get a rise out of you.
Diplomat Personality Types
Advocates
If they’re into you: They’ll give you a copy of their favorite book and say, “I know you’ll really like this” – even though you’ve never told them anything about your taste in books.
If they’re not into you: They’ll judge you so hard if they find out you don’t recycle batteries. (Seriously, though, you should.)
Mediators
If they’re into you: Let’s just say that anonymous love notes will be involved. And yes, those notes will be written in rhyming verse.
If they’re not into you: If you ask them out, they’ll have a really, really, really hard time saying no. In fact, they may marry you just so they never have to let you down.
Protagonists
If they’re into you: They’ll ask you on a first date that will last approximately six hours. At a minimum, expect to visit a museum, climb a mountain, and volunteer at a soup kitchen.
If they’re not into you: They’ll set you up with someone else. “Trust me,” they’ll say, “I’m really good at this.”
Campaigners
If they’re into you: They’ll want to spend as much time with you as possible, even if that means tagging along while you run errands. Also, even if you tell a joke that isn’t particularly funny, they’ll laugh so hard they start crying.
If they’re not into you: They’ll still want to be your friend.
Sentinel Personality Types
Logisticians
If they’re into you: It might take them a while to ask you out, but they will. And when they do, they’ll put a surprising (and touching) amount of effort into that first date. If they take you to a museum, for example, you’d better believe they’ve already read the exhibition catalog and can quote it verbatim.
If they’re not into you: Don’t worry, they won’t lead you on. At all. No coy smiles, no accidentally brushing your arm, nothing. Flirting is more or less a foreign language to these types.
Defenders
If they’re into you: They will wait so, so, so patiently for you to ask them out. Seriously, you’ll need to make the first move on this one.
If they’re not into you: You’ll catch them side-eyeing the clutter in your car/purse/backpack/office/etc. Yes, they’re judging you.
Executives
If they’re into you: They’ll give you a PowerPoint presentation about your potential relationship, including a slide titled “Mutual Benefits.”
If they’re not into you: You might catch them acting as if they’re your boss – even if you don’t work for them.
Consuls
If they’re into you: You won’t have to guess. These are the personality types who’ll ask you on a second date ten minutes into the first date.
If they’re not into you: They might rope you into a group outing so they can spend time with the person who is actually the object of their affection.
Explorer Personality Types
Virtuosos
If they’re into you: They’ll tolerate your presence – and maybe even seem to enjoy it.
If they’re not into you: They may walk away while you’re talking to them. Try not to take it personally.
Adventurers
If they’re into you: They’ll be kind and perhaps even warm toward you, but they won’t really open up until you paint pottery together.
If they’re not into you: They’ll avoid painting pottery with you as graciously and kindly as they can.
Entrepreneurs
If they’re into you: They’ll do their best to impress you – without making it super obvious that they’re trying to impress you, of course. They might put extra effort into their appearance, pick up the tab whenever you’re out together, or tell you all about the supercool thing they did last weekend.
If they’re not into you: They’ll ask you for an introduction to your friend/classmate/business associate.
Entertainers
If they’re into you: Expect some big gestures: fireworks, skywriting, horseback rides on the beach. But don’t be surprised if they show up late for nearly all your get-togethers.
If they’re not into you: They’ll still act like having a conversation with you is the highlight of their day, and they might even flirt a little, but – sorry to say – there won’t be any skywriting.
But do you “like” like this article?
Well, readers, what do you think? Do any of these tongue-in-cheek personality descriptions ring true? And how do you act when you’re into someone? Let us know in the comments section!
Further Reading
Online Dating – Does Your Personality Type Think It’s Pointless?
Three Ways Your Turbulent Personality Trait Can Mess Up a Date – And How to Fight Back
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