INFP relationships

INFPs are dreamy idealists, and in the pursuit of the perfect relationship, this quality shows strongest. Never short on imagination, INFPs dream of the perfect relationship, forming an image of this pedestalled ideal that is their soul mate, playing and replaying scenarios in their heads of how things will be. This is a role that no person can hope to fill, and people with the INFP personality type need to recognize that nobody's perfect, and that relationships don't just magically fall into place - they take compromise, understanding and effort.

Love All, Trust a Few, Do Wrong to None

INFP relationshipsFortunately these are qualities that INFPs are known for, and while it can be a challenge to separate long-fostered fantasy from reality, INFPs' tendency to focus their attention on just a few people in their lives means that they will approach new relationships wholeheartedly, with a sense of inherent value, dedication and trust.

INFPs share a sincere belief in the idea of relationships - that two people can come together and make each other better and happier than they were alone, and they will take great efforts to show support and affection in order to make this ideal a reality.

But INFPs aren't necessarily in a rush to commit - they are, after all, Prospecting (P) types, and are almost always looking to either establish a new relationship or improve an existing one - they need to be sure they've found someone compatible. In dating, INFPs will often start with a flurry of comparisons, exploring all the ways the current flame matches with the ideal they've imagined. This progression can be a challenge for a new partner, as not everyone is able to keep up with INFPs' rich imagination and moral standards - if incompatibilities and conflict over this initial rush mount, the relationship can end quickly, with INFPs likely sighing that "it wasn't meant to be."

As a relationship takes hold, people with the INFP personality type will show themselves to be passionate, hopeless romantics, while still respecting their partners' independence. INFPs take the time to understand those they care about, while at the same time helping them to learn, grow and change. While INFPs are well-meaning, not everyone appreciates what can come across as constantly being told that they need to improve - or, put another way, that they're not good enough. INFPs would be aghast to find that their intents were interpreted this way, but it's a real risk, and if their partner is as averse to conflict as INFPs themselves, it can boil under the surface for some time before surfacing, too late to fix.

Better Three Hours Too Soon Than a Minute Too Late

This aversion to conflict, while contributing greatly to stability in the relationship when done right, is probably the most urgent quality for INFPs to work on. Between their sensitivity and imagination, INFPs are prone to internalizing even objective statements and facts, reading into them themes and exaggerated consequences, sometimes responding as though these comments are metaphors designed to threaten the very foundations of their principles. Naturally this is almost certainly an overreaction, and INFPs should practice what they preach, and focus on improving their ability to respond to criticism with calm objectivity, rather than irrational accusations and weaponized guilt.

But that's at their uncommon worst - at their best, INFPs do everything they can to be the ideal partner, staying true to themselves and encouraging their partners to do the same. INFPs take their time in becoming physically intimate so that they can get to know their partners, using their creativity to understand their wants and needs, and adapt to them. People with this personality type are generous in their affection, with a clear preference for putting the pleasure of their partners first - it is in knowing that their partners are satisfied that INFPs truly feel the most pleasure.

Strengths & Weaknesses


Your name:
Katie Johnson
Sep 29, 2014 17:19:28
Sep 28, 2014 18:33:42
ENFJ girl here, looking for an INFP. Dang, you guys sound amazing. Where are you? ☺
Sep 26, 2014 07:26:11
Huh..this is eerie for me. I'm 18, never been in a relationship and I'm a senior in high school. And I do fantasize about relationships a lot...and I'm not even sure why like, I KNOW I don't need someone to make me happy. And being single rarely puts a damper on my mood; I'm generally pretty happy/optimistic. Yet my mind always wanders and it really confuses me. Glad to know that I'm not desperate or weird, persay. Just a hopeless romantic does anyone else have this problem? And does anyone have trouble making/maintaining friendships? I don't tend to keep most friends very long..and its mostly, if not all my fault.
Sep 25, 2014 20:15:39
I was doubtful at first about this, and unsure whether I truly fit into any personality type, but when I got to this section, I knew exactly where I belong. But I'm also a little disappointed, I get that it's a pretty special thing to be, but my dream has always been for me to become an outgoing person who can make a big difference, everyone does I guess, and it kindof hurts. Is this also a trait of being an INFP?
Sep 16, 2014 04:05:25
INFP/Pisces. Mercy, mercy!!
Sep 24, 2014 20:32:24
Same Here!!!
Sep 27, 2014 14:07:25
Me too!!