INFJ relationships

When it comes to romantic relationships, INFJs take the process of finding a partner seriously. Not ones for casual encounters, people with the INFJ personality type instead look for depth and meaning in their relationships. INFJs will take the time necessary to find someone they truly connect with – once they’ve found that someone, their relationships will reach a level of depth and sincerity that most people can only dream of.

INFJ relationshipsGetting to that point can sometimes be a challenge for potential partners, especially if they are the impatient type, as INFJs are often perfectionistic and picky. People with this personality type aren’t easily talked into something they don’t want, and if someone doesn’t pick up on that, it’s a trespass that is unlikely to be forgiven, particularly in the early stages of dating. Even worse is if a suitor tries to resort to manipulation or lying, as INFJs will see right through it, and if there’s anything they have a poor tolerance for in a relationship, it is inauthenticity.

Is This For Real?

One of the things INFJs find most important is establishing genuine, deep connections with the people they care about.

INFJs will go out of their way to seek out people who share their desire for authenticity, and out of their way to avoid those who don’t, especially when looking for a partner. All that being said, INFJs often have the advantage of desirability – they are warm, friendly, caring and insightful, seeing past facades and the obvious to understand others’ thoughts and emotions.

INFJs are enthusiastic in their relationships, and there is a sense of wisdom behind their spontaneity, allowing them to pleasantly surprise their partners again and again. INFJs aren’t afraid to show their love, and they feel it unconditionally, creating a depth to the relationship that can hardly be described in conventional terms. Relationships with INFJs are not for the uncommitted or the shallow.

When it comes to intimacy, INFJs look for a connection that goes beyond the physical, embracing the emotional and even spiritual connection they have with their partner. People with the INFJ personality type are passionate partners, and see intimacy as a way to express their love and to make their partners happy. INFJs cherish not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person, in mind, body and soul.

Want to read more? Our premium profiles go into more detail about various aspects of INFJ relationships, including analysis of all possible trait combinations.

Strengths & Weaknesses


Your name:
Lexi Smith
Aug 16, 2014 07:15:19
This describes me extremely well. Fortunately, I found my true love very early in life completely by accident. I had no intention of involving myself in the world of relationships, romance, and sexuality. It all seemed too shallow and meaningless to me until I found my perfect partner. But when I found him, I realized how meaningful and fulfilling the right relationship is. Interestingly enough, he's an INTP. Both he and I have looked up analyses of the INTP/INFJ relationship, and it seems that our pairing is often coined the "Golden Pairing" by many psychologists. It's one of those pairings that either is perfect beyond imagining, or it completely fails. In my case, it is completely the former. The fact that we share our introversion and intuition traits really helps in our relationship, because it makes us very similar in many ways. We're both very introverted, so each of us understands why the other doesn't like being around a lot of people. We love being together more than anything else. Because we're both intuitive people, we both love ideas and concepts. We both understand things on an intuitive level, which allows us to communicate very easily with each other most of the time. These similarities are balanced by our differences, which are exemplified by our feeling/thinking and judging/perceiving dichotomies. The fact that he often thinks about situations and ideas in a more analytic way than I do is sometimes an issue for us, but we always make good come out of it. I help him be a more feeling person, and he helps me be a more rational person. He is a perceiving person, while I am a judging person. Again, this sometimes causes a little difficulty in understanding between us. For instance, he doesn't care quite so much about order and tidiness as I do. But that's okay, because we respect each other's feelings and thoughts. And we try to understand each other as well as possible. Our differences bring us together. They don't tear us apart.
Aug 15, 2014 16:21:10
I think your best match if you are a straigth female, is an ENTJ man. They will make you feel safe and valued, and need people that can make them connect. And I think the sexual chemistry will be outstanding.
Kathryn Wilson
Aug 13, 2014 19:28:09
I've been waiting for that one person who "gets me" and it's so hard to find. It is gratifying to find people who are like me, but then I feel sad about it as I see so much struggle in our finding true mates and friends.
Lexi Smith
Aug 16, 2014 07:18:24
I totally understand what you're saying, but don't give up hope. I know from personal experience that true love is possible, and you can find it :)
joseph whitaker
Aug 13, 2014 15:10:46
why do i have almost all of these qualities and some from other personality types?
Aug 09, 2014 16:27:42
Ugh. One thing I can't stand about friends is if they're phony. I've lost a few of them that way.
Lexi Smith
Aug 16, 2014 07:19:50
I totally get that. I have too, and it's really for the best.