INFJ relationships and dating

INFJs are warm and caring partners, able to love unconditionally and show that love to their partners. They tend to be perfectionists, which can sometimes irritate their partners; however, such a tendency also shows how sincere and serious INFJs can be. INFJ relationships often reach the level of depth that most people could only dream of.

INFJ_2INFJs possess the ability to see behind the obvious, to clearly understand the idea behind the process. They are extraordinarily insightful and able to sense other people’s thoughts, desires, and emotions very easily. This is an incredible strength in romantic relationships and helps INFJs a lot during the dating phase.

INFJs can act wisely and spontaneously even in the face of unforeseen events, which contrasts with often less flexible Analysts (NT) or Sentinels (SJ). INFJs’ dating and relationship partners can expect to be pleasantly surprised over and over again.

It is hard to manipulate an INFJ as they evaluate the motives of other people very carefully, especially when dating. It is very rare for an INFJ to be tricked or talked into something they did not want. Nevertheless, the INFJs are friendly and full of compassion, even though they can be very picky when it comes to choosing their dating partners. A relationship with an INFJ is a connection that simply cannot be described in everyday terms.

From the sexual perspective, INFJs look at intimacy as an excellent opportunity to express their love and make their partner happy. They enjoy becoming one with their partner, physically and spiritually, even if just for a short while. INFJs’ emotions are incredibly powerful, and they cherish the idea of expressing them in this way. People with this personality type are likely to be very passionate and enthusiastic partners.

Preferred partners: ENFP and ENTP types, as their Extraversion (E) and Prospecting (P) traits counterbalance INFJs’ Introversion (I) and Judging (J) traits. INTJs are also a very strong match as the intuitive connection between INFJ and INTJ is likely to be instantaneous.

If you would like to learn more about how INFJs can get better at starting and maintaining healthy romantic relationships, including advice aimed at specific personality type combinations, download the INFJ In-Depth Profile – a 60+ page guide covering a number of diverse topics. If you are single, you might also want to take a look at our Dating section.

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37 Responses to “INFJ relationships and dating”

  1. Mandy Reply

    Without a doubt, I am very idealistic over a partner. I am also very sincere and would much prefer to consider fervently over our relationship before starting it.

  2. John Reply

    This information is astounding. Such a close match with the real me. Except the perfectionist bit-as I did not like that aspect of my mother and for years actively worked to change that in myself. I think I have done it, but it may still be deep down.

    • Nick Reply

      I feel the same way as you John. The information is very close but I don’t believe I am a perfectionist. If I am being entirely honest, its just the opposite. I have always felt that I could make a relationship work with nearly any kind of person if I really truly wanted it to.

    • Amy Reply

      I feel the same as you both! My mother was also a perfectionist that had extremely high standards of everyone around her, and it caused me a lot of distress that I could never please her. Later on, I realized that I had a similar mindset and did everything in my power to change that part of myself. I’m happy to know you guys are similar in this way.

      • Wolfe Reply

        Interestingly, i find myself to be a perfectionist, but only to certain things, namely, the English of those around me. I am always correcting their English and sometimes Japanese or other languages as well. I haven’t really had much experience with other perfectionists so I think that may have been a contributing factor to why I’m a (pseudo) perfectionist.

        • tamara Reply

          I so agree! I am constantly correcting the appalling use of certain terms or words in my head, though I have stopped correcting people out loud. lol. That was something that took time. Other than that, I don’t feel like I am a perfectionist.

  3. Sheena Reply

    It perfectly describes who I am. Though some of it aren’t. I’ve never been in a serious relationship before because i always tend to find the right person that checks all my list. I have a lot of friends but I could never find someone whom I could trust. I’m quite reserved and people get surprised whenever i start a conversation, because i was never the type to talk.

  4. Andrea Reply

    I’m in a relationship with an ISTJ. It’s been a little rough. I am a perfectionist, my mom is/was a perfectionist (unapologetic). She was extremely hard on my brother who still resents her for it to this day. My mom (and I) are always correcting people’s english as well. I feel that I am a little hard on my kids but I am also extremely loving (physically and verbally) which my mom wasn’t. Hopefully that makes up for it!

  5. Sophia Reply

    Well, I always get an INFJ personality. Well, somehow being the most rare personality is a good news, but unfortunately it’s kinda make me feel alone. But thanks God I always try to think that I’m rare and that’s the unique point! Well, maybe that’s why I always broke up with my bf because I never feel fit with them at all.

  6. Topi Reply

    It’s so odd yet relieving to read this article and the comments, I guess I’m not alone in this world! It has always been very hard to me to find a girlfriend, I have been always looking for “the special one”, who would understand me.

    • Felicity Reply

      Try the Dating tab at the top of this site. Nothing to lose…

  7. anon Reply

    As an INFJ in her 5th decade, all I can say about INFJ relationships (romantic or not) is to take “me” out of the picture.

    Whenever “me” became too big (overthinking my part in it), I’d get stuck in an emotional loop.

    Our intuition and ability to handle situations is better when we are not too concerned about self. Make sense??

  8. tamara Reply

    What helps for me is to not try to find my “better half.” Instead, I see and love them for the whole person that they are that can complement me, even if they don’t always “get me.” My guy doesn’t always get me, and yet he tells me over and over that I am one of the most amazing people that he knows. Since I think he is pretty amazing in his extroverted way [no idea of his type], this works for us in incredible ways. I show him how deep intimacy and love can be, and he makes me laugh and reminds me to be in the present.