Architect Personality

INTJ-A / INTJ-T

Friendships

“A friend to all is a friend to none.”

Aristotle

People with the Architect personality type tend to have more success in developing friendships than they do with romantic relationships, but they none-the-less suffer from many of the same setbacks, substituting rational processes for emotional availability. This intellectual distance tends to go both ways, making Architects notoriously difficult to read and get to know, and making Architects not want to bother reading anyone they think isn’t on their level. Overcoming these hurdles is often all but impossible without the sort of instant connection made possible by sharing the Intuitive (N) personality trait.

Architect (INTJ) friends

No Person Will Complain for Want of Time Who Never Loses Any

Architects tend to have set opinions about what works, what doesn’t, what they’re looking for, and what they’re not. These discriminating tastes can come across as arrogant, but Architects would simply argue that it’s a basic filtering mechanism that allows them to direct their attentions where they will do the most good. The fact is that in friendship, people with the Architect personality type are looking for more of an intellectual soul mate than anything else, and those that aren’t prepared for that kind of relationship are simply boring. Architects need to share ideas – a self-feeding circle of gossip about mutual friends is no kind of social life for them.

Architects will keep up with just a few good friends, eschewing larger circles of acquaintances in favor of depth and quality.

Further, having more than just a few friends would compromise Architects’ sense of independence and self-sufficiency – they gladly give up social validation to ensure this freedom. Architects embrace this idea even with those who do fit into their social construct, requiring little attention or maintenance to remain on good terms, and encouraging that same independence in their friends.

When it comes to emotional support, Architect personalities are far from being a bastion of comfort. They actively suppress their own emotions with shields of rationality and logic, and expect their friends to do the same. When emotionally charged situations do come about, Architects may literally have no clue how to handle them appropriately, a glaring contrast from their usual capacity for decisive self-direction and composure.

But Friendship Is Precious

When they are in their comfort zone though, among people they know and respect, Architects have no trouble relaxing and enjoying themselves. Their sarcasm and dark humor are not for the faint of heart, nor for those who struggle to read between the lines, but they make for fantastic story-telling among those who can keep up. This more or less limits their pool of friends to fellow Analysts and Diplomat personality types, as Observant (S) types’ preference for more grounded and straightforward communication often simply leaves both parties frustrated.

It’s not easy to become good friends with Architects. Rather than traditional rules of social conduct or shared routine, Architects have exacting expectations for intellectual prowess, uncompromising honesty and a mutual desire to grow and learn as sovereign individuals. Architects are gifted, bright and development-oriented, and expect and encourage their friends to share this attitude. Anyone falling short of this will be labeled a bore – anyone meeting these expectations will appreciate these personalities of their own accord, forming a powerful and stimulating friendship that will stand the test of time.

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