Architect Personality

(What’s the difference?)


“A friend to all is a friend to none.”


Architects tend to have more success in developing friendships than they do with romantic relationships, but they have many of the same difficulties with both. They too often put rational processes in place of emotional availability. This intellectual distance tends to go both ways. Architects are difficult for others to get to know. And they don’t always want to bother with anyone else they believe isn’t on their level. Avoiding these potholes is nearly impossible – except for the instant connection often made when potential friends share the Intuitive personality trait.

Architect (INTJ) friends

Friends as Intellectual Soulmates

Architects tend to have strong opinions about what works, what doesn’t, what they’re looking for, and what they’re not. This can come across as arrogance. But Architects would argue it’s a basic filtering tool that allows them to focus more effectively.

In friendship, people with the Architect personality type are looking for an intellectual soulmate more than anything else. People who aren’t equipped for such a relationship are seen as boring. Architects need to share their expansive ideas; making chronic small talk is something they typically avoid.

Architects will keep up with just a few good friends, eschewing larger circles of acquaintances in favor of depth and quality.

Further, having more than just a few friends may compromise Architects’ sense of independence and self-sufficiency. They gladly give up popularity to ensure this freedom. This need for freedom even applies to the few who fit the Architects’ criteria for friendship. Their relationships need little attention or upkeep to remain on good terms. They encourage everyone in their lives to enjoy the same independence.

With emotional support, Architects are far from being good at offering comfort. They expect their friends to do the same. When emotional situations happen, Architects may have no clue how to handle them. They may have no idea what to do. This sudden cluelessness goes against their usual ability to calmly and rationally make decisions and can seriously throw them off-kilter.

A Unique Friendship

When they are in their comfort zone, though, among people they know and respect, Architect personalities have no trouble relaxing and enjoying themselves. Their sarcasm and dark humor aren’t for everyone – especially those who struggle to read between the lines – but these types provide fascinating stories for those who can keep up.

It’s not always easy to become friends with Architects. Rather than the usual social rules and behaviors, Architects look for friends who value intellect, honesty, and a wish to grow and learn. Architects are bright and always want to improve themselves, and expect their friends to share this attitude. Anyone falling short of this is labeled a bore. But anyone with these qualities likely appreciates Architects as well, forming strong and exciting friendships that stand the test of time.

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