INFP Relationships

INFPs are dreamy idealists, and in the pursuit of the perfect relationship, this quality shows strongest. Never short on imagination, INFPs dream of the perfect relationship, forming an image of this pedestalled ideal that is their soul mate, playing and replaying scenarios in their heads of how things will be. This is a role that no person can hope to fill, and people with the INFP personality type need to recognize that nobody’s perfect, and that relationships don’t just magically fall into place – they take compromise, understanding and effort.

INFP romantic relationships

Love All, Trust a Few, Do Wrong to None

Fortunately these are qualities that INFPs are known for, and while it can be a challenge to separate long-fostered fantasy from reality, INFPs’ tendency to focus their attention on just a few people in their lives means that they will approach new relationships wholeheartedly, with a sense of inherent value, dedication and trust.

INFPs share a sincere belief in the idea of relationships – that two people can come together and make each other better and happier than they were alone, and they will take great efforts to show support and affection in order to make this ideal a reality.

But INFPs aren’t necessarily in a rush to commit – they are, after all, Prospecting (P) types, and are almost always looking to either establish a new relationship or improve an existing one – they need to be sure they’ve found someone compatible. In dating, INFPs will often start with a flurry of comparisons, exploring all the ways the current flame matches with the ideal they’ve imagined. This progression can be a challenge for a new partner, as not everyone is able to keep up with INFPs’ rich imagination and moral standards – if incompatibilities and conflict over this initial rush mount, the relationship can end quickly, with INFPs likely sighing that "it wasn’t meant to be."

As a relationship takes hold, people with the INFP personality type will show themselves to be passionate, hopeless romantics, while still respecting their partners’ independence. INFPs take the time to understand those they care about, while at the same time helping them to learn, grow and change. While INFPs are well-meaning, not everyone appreciates what can come across as constantly being told that they need to improve – or, put another way, that they’re not good enough. INFPs would be aghast to find that their intents were interpreted this way, but it’s a real risk, and if their partner is as averse to conflict as INFPs themselves, it can boil under the surface for some time before surfacing, too late to fix.

Better Three Hours Too Soon Than a Minute Too Late

This aversion to conflict, while contributing greatly to stability in the relationship when done right, is probably the most urgent quality for INFPs to work on. Between their sensitivity and imagination, INFPs are prone to internalizing even objective statements and facts, reading into them themes and exaggerated consequences, sometimes responding as though these comments are metaphors designed to threaten the very foundations of their principles. Naturally this is almost certainly an overreaction, and INFPs should practice what they preach, and focus on improving their ability to respond to criticism with calm objectivity, rather than irrational accusations and weaponized guilt.

But that’s at their uncommon worst – at their best, INFPs do everything they can to be the ideal partner, staying true to themselves and encouraging their partners to do the same. INFPs take their time in becoming physically intimate so that they can get to know their partners, using their creativity to understand their wants and needs, and adapt to them. People with this personality type are generous in their affection, with a clear preference for putting the pleasure of their partners first – it is in knowing that their partners are satisfied that INFPs truly feel the most pleasure.

5 years ago
"The INFP will do their best to help their partner grow and develop, although this may not always be appreciated." really true and happened to me
5 years ago
I can agree a little with this, but I'm not known for being quiet and yes like others have said in the comments I have been known to get jealous once in awhile.
5 years ago
I also think its true about the jealousy part. Im an INFP but my boyfriend is a ISTJ. Which Ive found that we surprisingly complement each other in a lot of ways. We understand each others independence as well as value each others opinions because we both have something different that is natural for us to contribute. One of the first things I noticed when we met was the way we both loved deep conversations. And being together never gets old because we both think the other is fascinating. We are never bored in conversation! Which I have to admit that it is hard sometimes on the F/T. He occasionally hurts my feelings and doesn't realize that he did until I get the courage to talk to him about it. Which then he feels bad since he hurt me. He does have feelings! I hate the stereo type the ISTJs get. They are very driven, which I am not... but I wish I could be sometimes. But like I said before, we really balance each other out, and have mutual respect for each other. He inspires me to be more confident, driven, and organized( which benefits me) lol, and I bring out the genuine love, care, and a calming peace into his busy life.
Min That
4 years ago
What a wise and lovely couple!
5 years ago
I have the hardest time with this aspect "INFPs’ imagination can easily come up with many different negative ideas and assumptions – this should be prevented at all costs." Especially in my relationship with significant other. I think of so many scenarios that have never happened or are never likely to happen and sort of make accusations based on these imaginary assumptions. Anyone else have that problem or solutions to stop doing this?! It drives me nuts, and also my boyfriend.
5 years ago
What an amazingly spot on test/report... I'm an INFP. I sometimes feel like I am being crushed by the weight of what I let myself feel, but on the other hand, the good times make up for so much of the pain... Re the jealousy comments, I think I don't start off jealous - I will give someone total trust (if they are trust worthy) and then if/when they start to abuse that trust or take me for granted, THAT's when I get jealous. Or perhaps it's more that I feel like I'm being treated like a chump, which rankles me. But yes - I will take a lot of that before I call someone out on it... INFP's rule!!!
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