INFP Friends

The true friends of people with the INFP personality type tend to be few and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends for life. The challenge is the many dualities that this type harbors when it comes to being sociable – INFPs crave the depth of mutual human understanding, but tire easily in social situations; they are excellent at reading into others’ feelings and motivations, but are often unwilling to provide others the same insight into themselves – it’s as though INFPs like the idea of human contact, but not the reality of social contact.

INFP friends

How Poor Are They That Have Not Patience

In a lot of ways, this limits the potential pool of friends to other Diplomat types, who are able to pick up on the subtle clues left by their INFP friends, and who are more likely than not to enjoy something of a human enigma. A friendship with an ESTJ on the other hand, governed by social conventions and community participation as they are, would almost be a non-sequitur – though INFPs may find the idea of being paired with their opposite fascinating enough to outweigh the practical challenges to such a friendship.

To top it all off, ideas like networking and "the friend of my friend is my friend" hold little weight with INFPs. Friendships are earned on their own merit, by dint of the intuitive respect INFPs have for those with similar principles and values, rather than more practical alignments like those of coworkers. INFPs’ tendency to protect their sensitive inner cores and values from criticism, especially if they are on the more turbulent side of the spectrum, means that acquaintances will likely get nowhere near them without sustained and tactful effort.

But, if INFPs’ shields are properly navigated and they decide to open up and trust another person, a strong, stable friendship will ensue, marked by passionate support and idealism, subtle poetic wit, and a level of emotional insight that is hard to match. INFPs’ friends will be rewarded with calm, sensitivity and depth, and an ever-present desire to help, learn, and grow. But even the most confident and assertive INFPs will only be able to keep up this relaxed and present exterior for so long.

Even as friendships grow stronger and deeper, and friends are lulled into a sense of mutual understanding, INFPs’ enigmatic qualities will never truly vanish.

INFPs will always need to disappear for a while, removing themselves from others so they can re-center on their own minds and feelings. Often enough people with the INFP personality type will emerge from this time alone having come to some momentous decision that even their closest friends didn’t know was weighing on them, evading even the option of receiving the sort of support and advice they so readily give. Such is INFPs’ way, for better or for worse.

5 years ago
this is really accurate for me except that I express my emotions very freely among people who pay an interest in me or people I deem worthy. and also my best friend is a TJ type but I find that this difference helps us learn from each other and we share a lot of interesting theoretical discussions, without much focus on feelings or personal beliefs. but yeah.
5 years ago
The only thing so far that doesn't match me, is that my friends, and people in general, find it very easy to get to know me. And I am pen with my feelings, unlike it says. Otherwise, I am JUST like it! I even write and act- Just like the first page said!
5 years ago
Is it common for an INFP to feel like they are the one who is always expected to change so those around them feel comfortable? The workplace is an example, especially if one works alongside a group of others. One can even be viewed as standoffish (if there's such a word).
5 years ago
I think so. I feel like I always must adapt and that most others aren´t making much of an effort. Perhaps some other types often are less interested in or perceptive of the feelings of the other person...
9 months ago
I'm starting to accept that maybe, either introversion or idealists in general, kind of have to. I read an article before about romantic relationships that said that, "If you're expecting your partner to change, it might be better to, instead, change yourself". This is something I experienced in my first romantic relationship, just outside of high school. He and I just weren't going to make it and I remember saying to myself, "Why doesn't he just break up with me already?" After saying that to myself, I realized that I had to accept that I just didn't want to be doing that anymore. Shortly after, he and I did break up but it wasn't really all that healthy. I didn't understand back then how important it was to cut ties on good terms, if we really needed to cut them at all. In general, it's probably better if we don't blame people for us being angry. It might be better if we focus on what we can accomplish with other people, despite that. I'm pretty sure that on the other side of being within ourselves, we might have to adapt a whole lot. Mediators being a bit in practical probably stems from this. All I can I do is just accept and not really think too much about it. On the bright side, the 3 of us having seen and keeping up with this is a sign we're still doing something right. That's why this site keeps trying to remind us that there is nothing wrong with who we are and it's not our fault that not everyone can love us.
5 years ago
Wow. This is ridiculously accurate. It's so crazy that someone, quite a few someones, get what's going on inside my head.
5 years ago
I know right? It's CRAZY!!!! And I'm glad to be rare :) It makes me feel good. And I'm happy too that people understand me!!!!
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