INFP Friends

The true friends of people with the INFP personality type tend to be few and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends for life. The challenge is the many dualities that this type harbors when it comes to being sociable – INFPs crave the depth of mutual human understanding, but tire easily in social situations; they are excellent at reading into others’ feelings and motivations, but are often unwilling to provide others the same insight into themselves – it’s as though INFPs like the idea of human contact, but not the reality of social contact.

INFP friends

How Poor Are They That Have Not Patience

In a lot of ways, this limits the potential pool of friends to other Diplomat types, who are able to pick up on the subtle clues left by their INFP friends, and who are more likely than not to enjoy something of a human enigma. A friendship with an ESTJ on the other hand, governed by social conventions and community participation as they are, would almost be a non-sequitur – though INFPs may find the idea of being paired with their opposite fascinating enough to outweigh the practical challenges to such a friendship.

To top it all off, ideas like networking and "the friend of my friend is my friend" hold little weight with INFPs. Friendships are earned on their own merit, by dint of the intuitive respect INFPs have for those with similar principles and values, rather than more practical alignments like those of coworkers. INFPs’ tendency to protect their sensitive inner cores and values from criticism, especially if they are on the more turbulent side of the spectrum, means that acquaintances will likely get nowhere near them without sustained and tactful effort.

But, if INFPs’ shields are properly navigated and they decide to open up and trust another person, a strong, stable friendship will ensue, marked by passionate support and idealism, subtle poetic wit, and a level of emotional insight that is hard to match. INFPs’ friends will be rewarded with calm, sensitivity and depth, and an ever-present desire to help, learn, and grow. But even the most confident and assertive INFPs will only be able to keep up this relaxed and present exterior for so long.

Even as friendships grow stronger and deeper, and friends are lulled into a sense of mutual understanding, INFPs’ enigmatic qualities will never truly vanish.

INFPs will always need to disappear for a while, removing themselves from others so they can re-center on their own minds and feelings. Often enough people with the INFP personality type will emerge from this time alone having come to some momentous decision that even their closest friends didn’t know was weighing on them, evading even the option of receiving the sort of support and advice they so readily give. Such is INFPs’ way, for better or for worse.

4 years ago
I'm so happy to be one of these people. When I retreat into my "hermit" state, I feel so blissful and relaxed, even though most would tell me to snap out of it and focus.
4 years ago
I'm an INFP. I don't really like crowded places, and I feel more comfortable in my home. My mum often complained about me not going out as much as my sister. I'm open with my friends, close or not. I'm what they say the always cheerful girl in class. I'm expressive, talkative, I like to chat with people. But I never share my deepest feelings to anyone. My sister said that I'm like this girl who's hard on the outside but soft in the inside. She said that I put up a strong front (there's this problem happening to us) but she knows that I'm actually a softie.
4 years ago
Wow. I'm an INFJ, but this describes my best friend to a "T". She is a textbook INTP, to the point where it's strange. The way that she dislikes my decisiveness/stubbornness makes sense now. She's always telling me to be more open towards her ex-boyfriend who she's considering re-dating. I think he's a psychopath (he threatened to blow up our high school with everyone in it and is also an arsonist), but all she sees are the positives about him, most of which she has imagined. She dislikes most people, which also makes sense now because, like me, she sees through most people instantly. It says that INFPs are highly unlikely to be close to J-types, but I guess we're the exception. She tells me almost everything, more than she tells anyone else in her life. I've only known her for about a year and a half and yet she's the best friend I've ever had. Even though our friendship can get shaky when I'm too realistic (weird for me to be MORE realistic than someone else) and she's too idealistic, we work out.
5 years ago
I am completely an INFP girl, it's actually scary how my personality matches the descriptions over these few pages. What's better is that it's made me proud to be who I am, whereas a few months ago, I was constantly doubting myself. I have a best friend, he's ENTP and although he's quite distant sometimes, we share the most amazing conversations. Despite the differences, we've known each other for nearly 5 years and we're always able to help each other out and it's great!
Ash of the Shadows
5 years ago
I am a total INFP girl. I love it for sure, but everyone around me expects me to act like they do so they feel more comfortable. This is pretty accurate with the friends thing, though. I've only just started high school, (well, I'm in 10th grade this year), with 2500 people I don't know. I have maybe 4 friends, but I don't really enjoy talking to any of them. They all expect me to chat with them or gossip, but I HATE that. It takes so much effort to talk with them about that. My best friend is a total ENFP, so he can understand that a little better, (he also talks about theoretical and interesting stuff with me, which none of my other friends will do). So, venting over, I have to ask something. Is it worth the effort to go out of your way to meet other people. My experience with this has not been good, but maybe in a new(ish) environment...
Sadie Grace
5 years ago
I too find it difficult to allow new people into my circle of friends. I'm pretty open with my friends and sometimes can be too trusting. If I perceive that someone has betrayed me I won't write them off, but i'll be more careful what I tell them and I won't hang around them as much. Having said all that, and to answer your question. Yes it is worth the effort to meet people. No matter what our personalities are and how much alone time we need, we still need friends. As much as I hate to make the effort to be social sometimes, I find that I need to be willing to interact with others and do things with friends. Too much alone time can depress me. Just take the friendships slowly and let them develop over time. Not everyone has to be a best friend. Good friends will respect your need to say no to some social events for those times you just can't handle being in a group. Focus on quality rather than quantity and you will be lifetime friendships. My husband and I have moved a lot and each place we have lived I have made a few good friends that I still keep in contact with via FB etc. So, I have collected a few really good friends over the year that I know I can call at any time and have a great conversation or if I have a need, they'd be there for me. That is worth a lot in life.
Immortal Horse
5 years ago
I got lucky - my best friend is a INFP too. We rarely see each other, but within a few years, we were/are each other's support. I never felt this. Life is a three-legged race; you need someone else to win. I have very few friends, and only who knows *me*, knows all my faults, my fears and my dreams. To answer your question; i won't say you don't know til you try (too late XD). I get that feeling, why bother at all? No one will understand you. Who would accept you as you are? I'd like to share with you what my best friend told me, I was feeling depressed and that my dreams were impossible. "Why try? Because there's always someone out there who needs you to try your best. Someone who couldn't stand up without you. Sometimes, you just need a reminder." Who knows? You could meet that person who needs you. I met her and she has helped me stand when life pushed me down. I helped her by accepting her for who she is. I wish thee the best of luck!
4 years ago
Hi. First be true to yourself. You do you. Dont try to make others happy. I truly dont accept why E's are accepted more socially and us I's are seen in a negative light. Embrace your type. You will be awesome and true to yourself.
1 year ago
yeah agree with you .. QUALITY OVER QUANTITY
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