INFJ Strengths and Weaknesses

INFJ Strengths

INFJ strengths
  • Creative – Combining a vivid imagination with a strong sense of compassion, INFJs use their creativity to resolve not technical challenges, but human ones. People with the INFJ personality type enjoy finding the perfect solution for someone they care about, and this strength makes them excellent counselors and advisors.
  • Insightful – Seeing through dishonesty and disingenuous motives, INFJs step past manipulation and sales tactics and into a more honest discussion. INFJs see how people and events are connected, and are able to use that insight to get to the heart of the matter.
  • Inspiring and Convincing – Speaking in human terms, not technical, INFJs have a fluid, inspirational writing style that appeals to the inner idealist in their audience. INFJs can even be astonishingly good orators, speaking with warmth and passion, if they are proud of what they are speaking for.
  • Decisive – Their creativity, insight and inspiration are able to have a real impact on the world, as INFJs are able to follow through on their ideas with conviction, willpower, and the planning necessary to see complex projects through to the end. INFJs don’t just see the way things ought to be, they act on those insights.
  • Determined and Passionate – When INFJs come to believe that something is important, they pursue that goal with a conviction and energy that can catch even their friends and loved ones off guard. INFJs will rock the boat if they have to, something not everyone likes to see, but their passion for their chosen cause is an inseparable part of their personality.
  • Altruistic – These strengths are used for good. INFJs have strong beliefs and take the actions that they do not because they are trying to advance themselves, but because they are trying to advance an idea that they truly believe will make the world a better place.

INFJ Weaknesses

INFJ weaknesses
  • Sensitive – When someone challenges or criticizes INFJs’ principles or values, they are likely to receive an alarmingly strong response. People with the INFJ personality type are highly vulnerable to criticism and conflict, and questioning their motives is the quickest way to their bad side.
  • Extremely Private – INFJs tend to present themselves as the culmination of an idea. This is partly because they believe in this idea, but also because INFJs are extremely private when it comes to their personal lives, using this image to keep themselves from having to truly open up, even to close friends. Trusting a new friend can be even more challenging for INFJs.
  • Perfectionistic – INFJs are all but defined by their pursuit of ideals. While this is a wonderful quality in many ways, an ideal situation is not always possible – in politics, in business, in romance – and INFJs too often drop or ignore healthy and productive situations and relationships, always believing there might be a better option down the road.
  • Always Need to Have a Cause – INFJs get so caught up in the passion of their pursuits that any of the cumbersome administrative or maintenance work that comes between them and the ideal they see on the horizon is deeply unwelcome. INFJs like to know that they are taking concrete steps towards their goals, and if routine tasks feel like they are getting in the way, or worse yet, there is no goal at all, they will feel restless and disappointed.
  • Can Burn Out Easily – Their passion, poor patience for routine maintenance, tendency to present themselves as an ideal, and extreme privacy tend to leave INFJs with few options for letting off steam. People with this personality type are likely to exhaust themselves in short order if they don’t find a way to balance their ideals with the realities of day-to-day living.
John aggac
4 years ago
i'm an INTJ, but certainly, i'm in love with an INFJ girl. i realy don't have idea what must be done. I wont take seriously any of those flirting .... or jeloucy strategies, that seems ridiculous. I've tried hard to forget her, but i just can't. I am feeling like an idiot, asking answers in here, but any answer will be beter than mine. THANKS to all for reading this. P.S.: Some friends said that she is giving me signals or something like that
Sarkalotless
4 years ago
I hope I'm not too late to help you, John. As a mostly fully mature INFJ female, I will do my best to let you in on how my head operates in the hope that it gives you some insight into your friend. 1. Sharing our deepest feelings is EXTREMELY hard. I'm reluctant even to admit I'm interested in someone, but I am quite relieved and happy when that someone pays attention to me and tries, gently and persistently, to get to know me better. I find that nearly irresistible in general, but it MUST be gentle. Insistent prying is very unwelcome; respectful attention is very welcome, although it can happen to occur at a bad moment for me, when I need my alone time but job, etc. prevents me from truly being able to go away for a while. Honestly, when I'm really interested in someone, I'm sure I leave him with the impression that I don't even know he's there, although I am warm and friendly to everyone I'm not interested in. 2. You're right not to want to play jealousy games. If she's anything like me, that will turn her off instantly. As for flirting, it's okay as long as it is sincere and doesn't sound like you say the same thing to half the women you meet. But flirting isn't necessary, it's happily tolerated if I see it as a helpful first step to get to know someone. Small talk, one on one, is excruciating, although I recognize it as a necessity and probably do a great job of hiding how much I hate it most of the time. I much prefer someone who wants to talk about an issue or idea that interests me, and all ideas interest me. Compliments are also welcome, especially if they are sincere, specific, and clearly apply to me. I love compliments from anyone, especially compliments about being a good person; being complimented on my looks is also welcome, although it is, for me, a much more intimate interaction. 3. We value stability and commitment. To me, especially as I've grown as a person, a man whose attention wanders is very, very unattractive. I admire men who are devoted, stable, honest, gentle, and reliable. I could never fall in love and stay in love with someone who does not have those qualities. I simply will not be attracted to him. 4. He has to have my back. I can and will go to Hell itself for someone I love, I will do my utmost to protect someone I care about, and although I don't expect other people to be able to do the things I can, I do expect loyalty. I expect to be a team. I expect that person to support my actions in public - but I thoroughly respect his right to tell me in private what he thinks I'm doing wrong. Warning: I can deal with a fairly harsh delivery of constructive criticism, but it's taken me a long time to get to that point. It will probably be much better for your friend if your disagreements with her are expressed gently and politely, but firmly. 5. Asking another person for anything is HARD to do. If she asks you to help her meet an emotional need - shoulder to cry on, cheer her up, etc. - that probably means you are a very important part of her life and she likes you very much. 6. I'm sure you've read it here and elsewhere, but she is going to need time to herself once in a while. This is extremely important, and it may appear alarming. I even had a roommate once who decided I was a drug addict because of my need for down time, and despite the fact that I don't use illegal drugs, seldom drink alcohol, don't smoke, and rarely even need prescription medication. 7. We don't threaten very often. We DO. 8. Don't automatically doubt her insights. She may not be able to explain them, and of course she could be wrong but she's far less likely to be wrong than most people. We have access to information that other people simply don't notice, or don't recognize as BEING information. I have extensive training in technical fields and as a result I do a pretty good job of explaining the reasons for my insights when I have them, and even I am very frustrated when other people automatically dismiss my insights. If she shares her insights with you, that could be a sign of trust, and we take trust VERY seriously. 9. NEVER, ever, under any circumstances, betray her. It is unforgivable. My reaction to betrayal is swift, ruthlessly firm, and permanent. That person is out of my life and will most likely never get in again. I cut my own mother out of my life many years ago. It wasn't easy, it was painful and took years of her repeated bad behavior for me to do it. I even actively gave her chances, easy ones, to redeem herself with me. She might, just maybe, see me at a family funeral at some point in the future, but until the day I die, I will never see her again even if she's standing in front of me. 10. If you do hurt her, my best advice: Apologize as soon as possible, and ask what you can do to make it better. People make mistakes, INFJs aren't heartless - just the opposite. We do not like to be hurt, and if we've accorded you enough power in our lives to be able to hurt us, the fact that it may have been a serious mistake to allow it hurts also. If it happens and it's something we can recover from, we need some reassurance that it isn't likely to happen again or at least not often, so the person who hurts us needs to understand it probably won't go away on it's own. 11. Quiet, steady, gentle persistence is likely to be an excellent strategy. It always gets my attention, at the very least. The fact that you can't get her out of your mind - that's very good news for you. It may be a long wait, or it may not. We tend to surprise others quite often. 12. For us, the world is full of wonderful people. It's also full of cold soul-dead zombies content to exist only on the surface of their own lives, and we yearn for the full-color version. Being willing, and able, to share your innermost self with an INFJ tends to be, at the least, very interesting to us if not downright irresistible. 13. Write to her. Throughout whatever relationship you have with her, this can help you at any stage. If you get the chance to chat with her online, take it. 14. The best Valentine's Day I've ever had: I was in grad school, very busy with studies, and he brought me my favorite sandwich from my favorite sandwich shop. The relationship didn't work and never would, but we truly remain good friends and stay in touch. I've had some wonderful, almost fairy-tale Valentine's Days, gifts, dinners, trips, etc., but that one is by far the best. 15. Reach out. It can be a big risk, but if you connect intimately with an INFJ, you will probably experience life as you never knew it could be. See how I organized the information? You had to work hard to get the desserts at the end, but they're really good desserts. Hopefully they are your just desserts, and I wish you well and good luck, John. You definitely have the potential to be exactly what she wants, or else I never would have given you this.
Linda
4 years ago
This is right on for my personality.
Perla
4 years ago
I completely agree with this list. Especially with one of my biggest flaw being "always needs a cause". It seems silly but that's why I struggle with school and work, I don't see a 'cause' for them and it sucks. Still working on it though! :)
Ann
4 years ago
INFJ describes me 100%! I just cannot agree with what it says as far as romantic compatibility. ENTP's are so competitive and insensitive. ENTP's "do best with emotionally resilent people". That is sooo NOT INFJ's. How in the world is that "compatible"? I know quite a few ENTP's, and quite frankly, they are the personality types that hack me off the most. ;-)
mary
4 years ago
It is uncanny how the INFJ fits me. I am amazed that more people arent this personality type. Also I am private but OPEN too. The only reason I have become so private is that my open and detailed expressing from my feeling self, is so descriptive, it freaks people out. When I express myself, It isnt rote, ever! They dont understand me but I feel like it is so simple. So as i have gotten older, I do alot more listening and waIt for a morsel or two when I can receive the same. I really long to be heard with the same compassion and interest as i listen to others. Nice to hear from other INFJs Thanks
Johanna
4 years ago
Mary! Thank you for writing here. "Also I am private but OPEN too. The only reason I have become so private is that my open and detailed expressing from my feeling self, is so descriptive, it freaks people out. When I express myself, It isnt rote, ever!" I couldn't relate more. It sometimes depresses me that others do not desire to know more about life. I've always appreciated The Hebrew word for "know" or "to know" is not a stand-offish, read about in a book knowledge. The Bible describes, "Adam knew his wife Eve." in this context "know" isn't strictly sexual, but rather an intimate expression of dedicating and engaging oneself to express love and affection. And in engaging in any kind of relationship with another person, I believe that we experience a depth of sincere care, curiosity, and empathy that scares many people. Of course, I struggle a lot with taking other's reactions or behaviors personally after I share a thought or insight. Like just now. But for some reason I keep persisting to be expressive because I can't help it. I've had to learn and will still be learning in years to come about how to be okay with who I am based on my need for speaking my heart and strong convictions, beliefs, opinions?- even when it seems weird or too dramatic for people and scares them away! I can choose to say to myself,"They don't like me!" Well, that doesn't work out well for me and I become critical and analytic. I can choose to say to myself..."that's too bad that they cannot engage on that level. I truly believe that they are missing out and I'm sad because I wanted to know them so I'm missing out too." Hence the perfectionism (for me). Which really seems like a form of people pleasing now that I think about it. :) OR I can choose to let go and not let other's actions or reactions make me feel bad. I am not defined by what others think or say about me. Mary, you are wise in saying that you listen more. That's beautiful and truly unselfish. I've been working on it. I love helping people find out and talk about what their heart is saying. It blesses others because listening is a catalyst for others to feel safe to share-really share- their own experiences. They've probably had a lot of judgment and criticism in their life so they are afraid to share their experiences or what they "know". Providing a space for someone to be themselves is so precious. AND..yayy...someone may now give more empathy too because they experienced it. Emotional intelligence is nurtured and multiplied and a dream has just been realized. I just LOVE that you said, "I'm amazed that more people aren't this personality type." Yes. It's intensely disappointing to find out that more people don't really want to know how you are when they ask, "How are YOU?" They really don't. I just can't fathom asking without really wanting to know. Some people just aren't like this and they experience life in a completely different way. I just love it when someone says that they have never shared that before, or "wow, you really get it and that helped me." Sometimes I find out years later that I made a positive impact on someone's life. They will tell me what I said and I am sometimes really surprised though proud of myself (new concept to feel proud) and I exclaim to myself or out loud, "I SAID THAT?!" Of course, I'm really happy and feel honored that something I did (listen) or said helped them experience...something. They heard my heart and related it to their own. They had strong FEELINGS about something. And strangely, it seems to us that facing and experiencing feelings whether good or bad on a different level, isn't an everyday experience for most people. In fact most people hate it. Who wants to face their fear, for example. Has anyone ever had a close friend try to push you away and thought that you wouldn't notice? WOW. THat's hilarious. I say hilarious because it's moments like that when I realize I am soo different and I have to laugh OR CRY that they don't know me at all and I didn't know them. I don't think other's are bad...not at all. Just really really different. And I can't understand why they do what they do, hence the "J" having to make sense of the world. Sometimes I envy their ability to not feel or read emotions immediately and so intensely. OR, have you had a close friend who shares life in a similar way as you and you really support each other, but one day they push you away while they're going through a tough time? Or how about when YOU are going through a tough time?Do you do this? I know I have. It's Because they know that they can't be fake around you, they purposefully avoid contact sometimes even knowing it hurts you, but will do it anyway since they are desperate to avoid experiencing negative emotions. Even if they really do care about you- they just cut off the relationship just to avoid their own pain...and avoid "knowing" their true self or yours.
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