Personality Types as Confidants: Who Ranks Where?

Trust and intimacy can play a major part in close friendships. Being able to share our concerns and problems with friends can help us find solutions and feel better. Some people may be so trustworthy and helpful that they become a constant source of support to us as we seek them out for their advice and sympathy, even when it comes to our most sensitive secrets.

Are some personality types more likely than others to find themselves in the role of confidant? To find out, we asked our readers whether they agreed with the statement, “Your friends consider you their confidant.” With a strong overall majority (85%) agreeing, it’s clear that most people, regardless of personality type, view themselves as being trustworthy sources of support for their friends. But the results show some variation, especially within the Mind and Nature personality aspects.

Agreement with “Your friends consider you their confidant.”

Let’s take a closer look at the data below.

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Roles

Agreement with “Your friends consider you their confidant.”

Diplomats (89% agreeing)

Diplomats agreed the most, which may not surprise anyone who has a Diplomat friend. These personalities tend to encourage close relationships through their supportive treatment of others and could easily become trusted confidants. Their Feeling trait makes them highly empathetic, and they feel a positive emotional reward when they help others. Diplomats are willing to build bridges and solve problems, but they’re also willing to simply listen if that’s all a friend wants or needs.

Assertive Protagonists (ENFJ-A) agreed the most of any personality type (95%). Driven to create warm, positive interactions with others, these outgoing leaders are more than happy to offer support to their friends. Natural confidence and genuine concern for others give Protagonists, especially Assertive ones, an air of authenticity that others find easy to trust.

Sentinels (87%)

Sentinels are known for being responsible, reliable, and trustworthy – three essential characteristics of a confidant. Their Judging personality trait motivates them to take rules and promises seriously, and that includes honoring the trust that others place in them. Sentinels excel at giving practical support and advice, but some, especially those with the Feeling trait, may be better than others at offering warm emotional support.

Explorers (84%)

Explorers may make good confidants because they are spontaneous free spirits who accept their friends as they are with little judgment. These personalities can offer not only openness, but also a little fun to cheer up their friends. In tune with their surroundings, Explorers with the Feeling trait are particularly adept at sensing when a friend needs someone to confide in.

Of all the personality types, Turbulent Virtuosos (ISTP-T) agreed the least (68%). The combination of Thinking and Prospecting traits makes it more difficult for Virtuosos to serve as reliable, long-term confidants, as they often struggle to relate to others emotionally and have a tendency to drop everything to pursue their own interests. That said, most Virtuosos are still quite likely to be regarded as confidants.

Analysts (81%)

Lowest in overall agreement, the vast majority of Analysts still said that their friends consider them a confidant. As Thinking personality types, Analysts usually provide rational, functional support better than they provide emotional support when friends confide in them. They may be quick to offer shrewd ideas about how to fix a problem but reluctant to dive into more personal matters. Analysts can be tremendously valuable to their friends, but they might not be the first ones called when heartbreak or other emotional issues arise.

Strategies

Agreement with “Your friends consider you their confidant.”

People Mastery (92% agreeing)

As Extraverted, Assertive personalities, People Masters tend to be interested in and care about other people. Confident and socially adept, People Masters are often energized by giving their time and attention to others. To them, the complexities of human interaction are fascinating, and being granted privileged access to their friends’ personal lives as a confidant may be very fulfilling.

Social Engagement (89%)

Social Engagers are also Extraverts with high social energy and a strong drive to connect, but they showed a little less confidence in their role as confidants. The Turbulent Identity makes these personalities prone to second-guessing. Whereas an Assertive person might give an immediate and strong response when a friend confides in them, a Turbulent individual might be more cautious. Nonetheless, Social Engagers value the trust of others because their own social status is of great concern to them – they want to be good friends.

Confident Individualism (85%)

As Introverts who often prefer to avoid social drama, Confident Individualist personalities probably don’t find themselves in the position to be a confidant as frequently as People Masters and Social Engagers do. But that certainly doesn’t mean that they’re any less capable of extending genuine support to their closest friends, however few they may be. Their Assertive, self-confident natures and socially independent tendencies might even help them offer a divergent view on things, making them refreshing and uniquely effective confidants.

Constant Improvement (80%)

Introverted Constant Improver personalities may offer their friends deep, deliberate support as confidants not because they excel socially, but because they generally don’t – accordingly, they value their true friends very much. It may be the case that some Constant Improvers doubt their abilities or status as confidants because of their Turbulent Identity, which makes them prone to bouts of lower self-esteem. But in reality, when a Constant Improver knows that they can trust a close friend in return, they’re likely to give generously of their time and support.

Conclusions

The high overall agreement rates in this study show that most people believe that their friends will confide in them. Variations in the data may simply reflect that some personality types are better at providing certain kinds of support. Empathetic, social people may be at their best giving comfort in times of emotional turmoil, while contemplative, reserved types might be more inclined to offer practical advice to navigate problems. Either way, it is clear that any personality type has the capacity to provide trustworthy, sympathetic care to their friends, if they choose to do so.

What about you? Do your friends consider you their confidant? Let us know in the comments below!

Further Reading

Trust Issues: Which Types Have Them?

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Comments

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A grayscale avatar for an anonymous user
I have a old friend (i.e. my only friend) from primary school that I sometimes bump into on the bus back. Whenever she notices me, my phone would buzz with a string of fully capitalised messages, imploring me to head behind. After I do, she would excitedly babble away about some drama that's going on with herself and some other friends for, like 30 minutes - 1 hour straight. I'm not really good with this kind of thing, so I would just pretend to understand, nod my head, ask a few questions here and there... She once told me that I'm a good listener :P
A grayscale avatar for an anonymous user
I think many INFPs are told that they’re good listeners. My sister is also INFP, and she has had complete strangers tell her their life story. I think we’re often good at helping others feel heard, because many of us know what it’s like to feel ignored or dismissed. Most of the INFPs I’ve known are also too polite to interrupt or abruptly end conversations, even if it makes them feel uncomfortable. I know I’ve had to train myself to interrupt more longwinded people when I feel that I must speak.
ENFP avatar
This is hilarious! I've had this conversation with my boyfriend many times. He's INFP and he really is a great listener. Sometimes I want to get him to speak more but I'm usually the one carrying the conversation. There are times when interacting where I don't want to talk much (not as often, haha, but they exist) and when this happens it's like he doesn't know what to say. Most times I have to lead the convo and then hand it over to him if I really want him to talk more in that instance. With his type, it's hard to get something out unless I ask the right questions, but that's not normally my instinctive approach - I'll talk and share my experiences and how I feel (ENFP) and be open and excited to learn about his. Sometimes I feel guilty and also regretful that I talk so much and then I don't learn as much about him at a fast pace as he does me. And then I don't usually want to ask things out of the blue, because it doesn't flow well as a convo. And because I know he has expressed hesitation about certain topics before, whereas I'll just bare myself to him easily. He is also picky about when he talks about sensitive matters. He has to be in the frame of mind to share. All the same, he says he trusts me the most and that I know him most intimately and that, for me, is satisfying and assuring. He is such a great listener though that I really have to catch myself and direct a question to him when I'm determined to hear what he has to say!
A grayscale avatar for an anonymous user
There are a few who trust me, and they often turn the innocent greetings into a 2-3-hour session of therapy once I pick up their underlying troubles. I may not feel sorry for them, but they know I can find a suitable solution. One of them stopped seeing her therapist, got better, and she is an ESFP. I still urge her to seek professional help if she feels 'blue'. If that said, I would recommend people to refer their friends to therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist if you think they're deeply wounded. You can still help them by being there. I learned that from my past mistake that almost costed my friend's life and sanity, just because I thought I could manipulate her into getting better. If someone trusts you enough to make you their confidant, don't betray them.
INFJ avatar
Good point. Professional help for serious problems is different from social support from friends/family, but I think both are very important.