INTJ parents

INTJ personality traits are not usually considered ideal as far as parenting is concerned. INTJs tend to be very rational, perfectionistic, and relatively insensitive individuals, which goes against the stereotypical image of warm, caring, traditional parents. However, it could be said that this is simply a reflection of the fact that society is dominated by more sensitive and traditional personality types. In contrast, INTJ parents are more likely to focus on making sure that their children grow up to be able to make independent and rational decisions.

Not surprisingly, people with the INTJ personality type will probably have difficulties supporting their children emotionally. They will be excellent advisors when it comes to planning, rational advice, help with studies, etc., but INTJ parents are unlikely to know how to react when their child asks for their help with a matter that is emotional in nature. INTJs are used to suppressing their own emotions and will struggle if their child is very sensitive. There are many other personality types that have difficulties in this area, but INTJ personalities are likely to find this especially difficult.

That being said, most INTJ parents will be able to ensure that their children are very well prepared to deal with the challenges that life throws their way. They will likely be demanding yet liberal and open-minded parents, encouraging their children to develop and use their own mind instead of trying to protect them from the world as long as possible.

If you would like to learn more about the INTJ parenting style and other personality traits, download the INTJ In-Depth Profile – a 70+ page guide covering a number of diverse topics. Otherwise, please keep reading:






16 Responses to “INTJ parents”

  1. Vandry Reply

    Everything is accurate but this and I think it’s because a mother’s love and instinct is more powerful than even her personality type. I am no doubt a thinker, a judger, intuitive, and introverted. No question. But I am super warm, loving, and affectionate when it comes to my 2 year old.

  2. John Reply

    I’m an INTJ. And I’ve never wanted to have children, even when I was very young I have felt strongly about this. Some of the reasons are that I feel that I will be too strict a father and will end up damaging the child emotionally. I was personally raised by strict parents as well, and I never fully appreciated them until I was an adult, and I now consider them very important and valuable people to me. I feel that raising a child would present the same struggles I went through and the child will constantly struggle to fit in and make friends, while it is something I am getting better at, it was a very real and painful struggle for me. I’m very proud of who I am and what I’ve accomplished, but I see no reason to put someone else through it.

  3. Simone Reply

    I’m an intj, and my intj dad is the best thing that could have happened to me. We taught each other about affection, geeked out together, and I always felt like I could find a similiar mind in him. Of course, my infj mum was often frustrated by our terrible sarcasm and cruel humour, often at the expense of others, but c’est la vie. It all worked out. My dad always had more trouble with my sister, enfj that she is, but that’s okay, they both really try to connect. I really believe that intjs can be amazing parents, and I don’t want to discourage any of them away from it.

  4. Rachael Reply

    I’m a 26 yr old INTJ. Getting married next year. I’ve been thinking about kids. I used to hate kids! I was the oldest grandkid and never wanted anything to do with babysitting. I just hated the thought of holding a baby and not understanding why it starts to cry for no reason! NO REASON! I don’t mean when hungry or poopy diaper… that’s a reason to cry.
    I’m getting better now that my friends are having babies. For example, the other day I was holding Braydon. He’d start to cry… but then we’d walk into a different room and he’d be fine. He was getting bored! Once I figured out why he was stressing, it was all too easy to keep him happy for an hour.
    Anyways. This has given me a lot to think about! I wonder if my dad is an INTJ and my mom is probably an ESFP. Literally the exact opposite.

  5. S L J Reply

    I’m an INTJ and I have 3 kids. The description above is close to being accurate. I still have the ability to adapt to my kids’ emotional side especially to my youngest who’s a little more sensitive, but I adapt knowing that my son ‘needs’ this from me and because he’s still a young child. But overall, I raise my kids to be independent, to always expect the worst in every situation; allowing them to make their own decisions but with the caveat that they’ll have to endure the consequences; good or bad.