ESFP relationships

Few things are as bubbling and unpredictable as ESFP relationships. People with this personality type live completely in the present, squeezing everything out of every moment and approaching their relationships from the same perspective. For instance, ESFPs often enjoy dating someone without thinking about the next steps or long-term plans.

This peculiar trait is probably both the best and the worst one when it comes to ESFP relationships. Dating or simply being with an ESFP is an unforgettable experience. They will always come up with new and exciting things to do, will be able to talk about everything and everybody (as long as you stay away from philosophical or scientific topics), and will genuinely enjoy spending time together instead of getting distracted by thoughts about the future or the past. However, this trait becomes a weakness when it is necessary to stop having fun and start thinking about serious topics, such as long-term plans, commitment, and potentially life-changing decisions.

ESFP relationshipsAs ESFPs reevaluate their commitments on a daily basis, their willingness to work on the relationship can change drastically as time goes by. Even if the ESFP is very committed to their partner today, that does not guarantee that they will not seriously consider breaking off the relationship after a week. Of course, this is most clearly visible among less mature ESFPs, but everyone with this personality type shares this trait to some extent. ESFPs naturally dislike long-term planning; this is not necessarily a weakness in other areas, but strong, life-long relationships always require mutual commitment and conscious efforts. This is something that ESFPs should try to work on. Otherwise, they will be at risk of always jumping from one dating partner to another, thus avoiding promises and commitments.

ESFPs are very vulnerable to conflicts and are likely to react very badly if someone says something negative about their relationship or, even worse, if their own partner criticizes them for any reason. ESFPs personalities are very emotional, and they also prefer to take things at face value instead of trying to guess the motives and reasoning behind them. Consequently, ESFPs are deeply offended by any criticism and may get frustrated even further if the other person tries to take emotions out of the equation by saying that the ESFP should not take this personally or that they are reacting irrationally etc.

ESFPs should keep this trait in check wherever possible, and this is especially important when they are looking for a dating partner. For instance, some dating “strategies” advocated by certain types of men revolve around exploiting this emotional reaction, and ESFPs are very vulnerable to such an approach. Furthermore, ESFPs are also likely to be quite materialistic, and the combination of these traits is not very attractive.

Less mature ESFPs also have a tendency to care too much about social status and their friends’ perception of their relationship. People with this personality type should be aware of this trait as it may seriously hinder their dating efforts and the relationships themselves. Because we tend to surround ourselves with people who are like us, our negative traits can actually be reinforced by our social circle.

From the sexual perspective, ESFP personalities are very affectionate, inquisitive, and open-minded partners. They enjoy physical intimacy immensely, and this is clearly visible in all ESFP relationships, as long as their partners are willing to reciprocate. ESFPs are very sexual beings, and they also love sharing that pleasure with their partners.

Overall, ESFPs are very enthusiastic, direct, and affectionate partners. Their relationships are likely to be based on simple, pure, down-to-earth love and focus on small everyday pleasures. Being very social and easy-going, ESFPs will bring a lot of energy and freshness into their relationships.

Preferred partners: ISFJ and ISTJ types, as their Introversion (I) and Judging (J) traits counterbalance ESFPs’ Extraversion (E) and Prospecting (P) traits.

Strengths & Weaknesses


Your name:
Sep 07, 2014 23:23:49
I am ISTJ and my friend is ENFP - a total opposite and very hard to handle. She breaks plans, her mood swings dictate everything, she changes opinions and always on the go...To me such a personality type represents a total chaos but.... it is very amusing ... she is like a movie to me..i only sit and watch .. and shake my head
Ashima Sabharwal
Sep 06, 2014 22:50:27
Every single word that was mentioned about my personality was just so true.
I am highly impressed by this test.
Aug 28, 2014 06:38:10
As an ISTJ, I would simply loath an ESFP as a romantic partner. (No offense ESFPs. You're just too loud and "go go go!" for me.) I am honestly bewildered why the authors of this site would match these two types together. "Opposites attract" only goes so far. Fire and water may be opposites but water extinguishes fire.

Now, an ESFJ I find very attractive. Outgoing and personable but not clinically insane.
Aug 19, 2014 02:59:18
My boyfriend had told me that he had taken this test and was an INTJ. Once I looked up the description for it, I was blown away by it's accuracy. I then took the test and found that I didn't agree with my results quite as much at first, but after reading on, I began to change my mind. The only aspect that I don't quite agree on is the distaste towards topics regarding science and philosophy that ESFPs are supposed to have. Besides that, the accuracy is unreal. My boyfriend and I are also very compatible personality types, and I've found that our differences do in fact complement each other quite nicely.
Aug 07, 2014 20:23:07
While I love to have fun and do exciting things, I am committed and very focused on the long-term needs of making a marriage work.