Romantic relationships bring out a side of people with the ISFJ personality type (Defenders) that may not be obvious at first glance. Beneath their patient and demure exteriors, ISFJs thrum with passionate commitment and loyalty toward the people they love. At times, even these personalities themselves may be surprised by the intensity of their feelings – especially their fierce desire to protect and care for their partner.
ISFJs’ emotions run deep – so deep that people with this personality type may struggle to find the words to express just how much their partner means to them. But they show their affection in a million little ways on a daily basis. Always eager to make their loved ones’ lives better and more convenient, ISFJs can transform even the most ordinary tasks – from cooking dinner to organizing a weekend trip – into a heartfelt gesture of love.
An ISFJ in Love
Although generally a proactive, can-do personality type, many ISFJs struggle to take the initiative when it comes to dating. Asking someone out can be incredibly uncomfortable for these personalities, who tend to worry about not only rejection but also violating unspoken social rules. The bad news is that ISFJs can end up feeling stuck, wanting to embark on a relationship but waiting for another person to make the first move.
When they do find themselves in a relationship, ISFJs are – in a word – committed. People with this personality type find great fulfillment in sharing their time, energy, and affection with another person, and as partners, they tend to be incredibly giving and supportive.
They don’t take their relationships lightly, and they don’t give up easily – even when challenges inevitably arise. ISFJ personalities tend to have a realistic appreciation for the amount of effort that a healthy long-term relationship requires, and they’re more than willing to put in the work necessary to build a lasting bond with a person they cherish.
Soundness of Heart
ISFJs’ pragmatic approach to life can sometimes shield the incredibly strong feelings that lie within their heart. It’s no surprise, then, that it can take these personalities a relatively long time to recover from the heartache of a breakup – or even a particularly painful disagreement. ISFJs give so much of themselves in their relationships that they can feel deeply hurt when they believe that someone isn’t offering them enough love, commitment, respect, and appreciation in return.
Unfortunately, ISFJs may find it difficult to break off a relationship – even when things just aren’t working out. People with this personality type may hang on due to misplaced loyalty, a general fear of change, or the hope that they can somehow figure out how to change any problems for the better.
It would be a mistake, however, to think of ISFJs as pushovers in their relationships. Although these personalities generally try to avoid conflict, they have clear and firm opinions and preferences on all kinds of subjects. And when they feel as if their partner isn’t respecting their wishes, all of their repressed frustration and disappointment may eventually boil over in the form of negativity, resentment, or heels-dug-in stubbornness.
In their heart of hearts, however, what ISFJ personalities want most is to ensure their partner’s happiness and wellbeing. As long as they balance this desire with a healthy amount of attention to their own needs and aspirations, ISFJs can enjoy exactly the sort of enduring, impassioned relationships that they’ve always dreamed about.