ISFJ Parents

ISFJs’ warmth and care make parenting something that often comes naturally to them. Many people with this personality type feel like parenting is the task they were born for, taking no small pleasure in the sense of personal importance and responsibility they feel in ensuring that their children grow up to be healthy, confident and successful. At the same time, ISFJs are anything but arrogant, and will hardly take their natural skill in this department for granted.

ISFJ parents

From the start, ISFJs’ altruism is apparent in their approach towards their children, ensuring that they have a safe, stable environment filled with love, care and support. In their children’s younger years, ISFJs’ patience comes in very handy as well, as their children learn to become more independent and self-deterministic, testing any limit they can find.

Seeing the World in Its True Light

It is this transition though, from the utter dependence of infants, to the insatiable exploration of toddlers and young children, to the rejection of authority of adolescents that ISFJs are taken by surprise.

Very traditional personality types, ISFJs accept historic standards, with clearly defined roles as parents and children. They view their role, and often rightly so, as the imparter of their own wisdom and values, ensuring that their children understand the importance of dedication and responsibility.

What many ISFJ parents may not realize is that more independent children often reject the seemingly overbearing love and support that make ISFJ personalities such wonderful parental figures. They wish to determine their own values and make their own choices, and ISFJs’ good intentions can make them feel like every aspect of their lives is sealed off and controlled. All the while, ISFJ parents must ensure that more dependent children, who are willing to lean on all of this care and support rather than rebel against it, do not take these admirable qualities for granted, neglecting their own independence entirely.

Do Right, Even if We Suffer in so Doing

ISFJs are uncomfortable when their children don’t behave as expected, and oftentimes more insightful children see, and sometimes exploit, this potential weakness with tantrums and mind games. It takes a strong will for ISFJs to put their foot down and teach clear and reasonable boundaries and values, while at the same time affording their children the freedom to grow and develop on their own.

Parenting is not easy for any personality type, not if they’re doing it right, but ISFJs do have the advantage of not just being caring, but being thoughtful and responsible in how they administer that care. Often seen as ideal parents, people with the ISFJ personality type are able to be there for their children, but to also know that there’s more to people than meets the eye, and to respect those differences – if not always to understand them.

ENTP
1 year ago
My mother is an ISFJ. I am an ENTP. We are complete opposites! My type is very independent and questioning of traditional values, so we have many clashes.
Brianna D
2 years ago
I think this is similar to my personality but I'm not as nice and can be inconsiderate of others feelings and hurt them by accident
Benjamin Abril Jr.
3 years ago
was surprised with results I have been to hard on myself. I'm a better person than I thought. very pleased with results.
Valerie Jackson
3 years ago
Like looking in a mirror
Tiegan
3 years ago
My father was an ISFJ and there were always very interesting dynamics going on in my house. He was the controlling, overprotective parent that I never wanted as an ENTP. He tried to shove values down my throat (that's how it felt at the time), while I felt everything was up for debate. The freedom to experiment with my insane ideas (time travel anyone?!) just was not there. My ESTP older brother always escaped the house, having fun with friends that he picked up at a moments notice. My INFJ younger sister felt hurt by my father's put down of her idealistic view of the world, and the people in it, telling her that she should just accept traditions and how things really are. My ISTP younger sister resisted authority, saying she wanted to discover things with her own two hands. My father tried to keep her unfocused energy contained, to no avail. My ESTJ younger sister was authoritative in her own right, and my father never respected that she had her own talents not controlled by him (she always won the model citizen award). And my youngest sister, an ESFP, well, let's just leave that relationship at interesting. So, while ISFJs can be great parent, they also can fail to understand their children and what they need. Especially what an ENTP needs.
Anonymous
3 years ago
... Are you making this up? ;) Literally every member of your family has a contrasting personality. I personally think it sounds like your dad has a very strong Judgemental trait, kinda like my dad actually. That basically means that even though he meant well for all of you - like most ISFJs do - the fact that your family of 6 had such different traits made it hard for him to adapt and be able to connect deeply with you (you've probably noticed that you have the exact opposite personality as him). I would guess you guys could hopefully acknowledge your DIFFERENT strengths and weaknesses and come together later in life.
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