Romantic Relationships

People with the ESTJ personality type (Executives) are fairly unique in that their relationships don’t really change as they progress from the dating phase into more steady, long-term relationships and further into marriage. Because they value honesty and straightforwardness so highly, they are likely to be clear about who they are, what they’re like, and what their goals are from the start. And true to their reliable nature, ESTJs tend to stick with those goals and expectations into the long-term. So long as their partner is able to take them at their word and follow suit, theirs are bound to be extremely stable relationships.

A Steadfast Love

This isn’t to say that there isn’t any growth, of course – character development is always a high priority for ESTJs, and each life goal is important. Rather, it’s that shifting moods, goals, and desires are unlikely to fundamentally alter the basis of their relationships.

This may all sound a little stale, and indeed ESTJs are not spontaneous or unpredictable people, but they do very much enjoy taking their partner out and having fun. Social events and activities are their idea of a good time, and while they may rely on familiar people and places, they do bring lots of energy and enthusiasm, which helps keep things interesting.

ESTJs excel at expressing their interest and commitment through simple, laid-back outings and gestures, but they tend to have a hard time expressing emotional intimacy in their relationships. Touchy-feely moments are few, as are verbal statements of love. This is usually fine, as ESTJ personalities find other, more tangible ways to express their affection. The problem is in recognizing the validity of those qualities in others rather than simply dismissing them as pointless or irrational, something that can be extremely hurtful if their partners are more sensitive.

The Limits of Rationality

ESTJ personalities address conflict head-on with simple statements of fact – a very rational approach – but subtlety and emotional tact are sometimes sacrificed in the process. While their level-headed communication methods are appreciated by many people, for others they can be uncomfortable. For all their social skills, ESTJs can be especially bad at reading the emotional side of other people, and when it comes to their partner, it’s more important than ever to try to match their emotional vulnerability from time to time.

ESTJs are people with strong principles and strong self-confidence. They use these qualities to protect their partner with admirable consistency. But people with the ESTJ personality type are also stubborn, with a firm belief in their rightness, and they can quickly damage more sensitive partners’ fragile feelings. With this in mind, it is often best for them to work on listening with an open heart and mind and trying to meet their partner halfway when things get tough.