ENFP Relationships

When it comes to relationships, there’s hardly anyone around who is more excited than ENFPs to share with their partners the bounty of ideas and eye-opening experiences that life has to offer. For people with the ENFP personality type, relationships are a joyous process of mutual exploration and imagination, a chance to connect with another soul. ENFPs take their relationships seriously, and are known for their uninhibited and unshakeable devotion to the people to whom they’ve committed their hearts.

ENFPs have the advantage of irresistible charm when it comes to attracting a partner – ENFPs’ warmth, excitement and passion are simply alluring.

In the dating phase, if ENFPs can be said to tolerate such a formal process to begin with, they will show these qualities by showering their new flames with affection, and will do everything they can to build a strong relationship by demonstrating their devotion and reliability by whatever means available.

ENFP romantic relationships

You Cannot Live Without a Fire

Long-distance relationships are quite common among ENFPs, as they view physical distance as just another idea, no match for concepts like love. This gives them the chance to demonstrate their commitment, both by staying true despite the physical separation, and with overtures of effort to surprise their partners, crossing that distance on a whim. These are demonstrations of ENFPs’ mystery, idealism and deep emotion, and such efforts often keep the flames of a relationship burning bright.

People with the ENFP personality type express these ideals sexually as well, exploring the physical with imagination and passion, viewing these times together as a chance to let their feelings for each other shine, sharing their love and affection. ENFPs will willingly experiment with their partners, even early in a relationship, but they can also be oddly perfectionistic, believing that these physical acts are a representation of their deeper love, and as such should not be performed carelessly. This perfectionism is also a reflection of their sensitivity, their desire to not disappoint, and ENFPs appreciate a well-placed compliment.

Not everyone can handle the excitement, occasional neediness, and emotional ups and downs that this philosophy entails, whether long-distance or long-term, mystical or physical. ENFPs constantly explore new ideas and improvements, fantasize about future possibilities – in dating, this tendency to look at potential rather than the present can be self-defeating, and their spontaneity makes it harder to stay focused on their end goal of a long-term relationship. If their partners aren’t able to reciprocate these acts of excitement and devotion, ENFPs will likely end up feeling unhappy and misunderstood.

So, You Think You Know the Real Me?

ENFPs go all-in with their relationships, and if they fall apart despite their efforts, they can end up plagued with questions about why the relationship failed and what they could have done differently – without a buoy, these thoughts can crush ENFPs’ self-esteem as they sink into depression. It’s important for ENFP personalities, as with anyone, to remember that relationships are in all ways mutual – mutual interest, mutual growth, and mutual responsibility – and they can’t be solely accountable.

After a trial like this, ENFPs may be reluctant to open up and commit, and it can take years for a partner to navigate their bewildering depth and intensity, falsely believing that ENFPs’ enthusiasm and apparent openness means that they wear everything on their sleeves. The reality is that ENFPs’ spontaneity, the seeming inconsistency and erraticism the untrained eye sees, isn’t a product of flightiness or lack of depth, but the opposite – it is a drive to express ideas about a mystical, all-encompassing energy, in the confines of a physical world, and underlying it all is the uniting principle of love, expressed in many different ways, but unshakeable and infinite at its core.

4 years ago
Why is this so freaking accurate?!?!?!?
Angela Christine
4 years ago
Being an ENFP, why is it so easy to attract many people wherever you go, but not necessarily form individual deep, long-lasting friendships?... And how do relationships work out between two ENFPs? I'm weighing my options between an ENTJ and an INTJ. I have more in common with the ENTJ, but the INTJ has good qualities as well.
Some ENFP Female Teen
4 years ago
And yet I've never dated, and I'm eighteen. Might have something to do with the whole "I will not compromise my values for you, take me and have a wonderful time, or don't and I'll wait till a guy who gets it comes along" attitude. I think a lot of people suspect I'm a lesbian, which I have no problem with people who are, but I'm not. (Another reason they may think that might be because of how much of a tomboy I am...) It just is that all the guys I like friendzone me, or, like my current best friend crush, is dating another best friend. ...maybe one day.
4 years ago
Oh my gosh I totally understand what your saying! My friendships are the same, I'll start liking one of my best friends but sometimes I think they see me as one of the guys, which totally sucks! I'm 17 never had a boyfriend, but when I think I like someone I always have to take a closer look at them and see if their values are the same as mine. If not then I'm just waiting till the guy that will treat me like a princess comes along haha. I have no doubt they are out here, we just gotta wait which isn't always fun.
4 years ago
Wow i have the same issue with girls in the sense that no one understands that deep perspective. Thanks for the post!
4 years ago
So true! One day you will! I'm 24 and finally have....but as it describes here is a long distance relationship....but now I'm still fantasizing other dates...wow I'm so amazed by this test. Don't feel bad...you will soon have a boyfriend, people thought I was lesbian, too, at your age I was not a tomboy but pretty simple. now I'm way more feminine, but is because I'm independent now, and have many guys interested on me. We are charming don't worry
3 years ago
I'm not a lesbian but people think I am. When I was on my spiritual journey I believed it to be gender neutral or a double gender, but in reality I would call it a spirit for things that are sacred ( secretive sex life), and yielding spirit that is like a solute that does not dissolve in most people's solvents. Like ah.. what is it. You know how a lot of personalities are not yielding, but often get lost in the soup of personalities. I think I am the opposite- ENFP. Free spirit.That sacrifices to keep everyone free. It ain't free unless everyones free right, and the rules keep us together in this freedom. It sounds like I ranted but I believe other ENFPs will get it.
4 years ago
Yup, I'm that. especially I'm perfectionistic. my friend who had some romantic interest messed up my last dance, that I ignored him for like a week.
4 years ago
That sounds like something I would do
4 years ago
That's me definitely! Wow.
Your name: