Validating your partner’s emotions is a powerful way to deepen your relationship, but we don’t always think about validating another important part of who they are: their personality traits. In the first installment of this series, we explain validating personality traits at greater length, but in short, it can allow you to support and connect with your partner in both joyful and difficult moments. That’s because validation means offering understanding and acceptance as something separate from approval, which helps your partner feel that you embrace them for all that they are.
Of course, different personality type characteristics call for different approaches to validating someone’s personality. Here we’ll offer some ideas for validating a Campaigner (ENFP) partner based on some likely behaviors associated with their traits. These are just some of the personality facets that you can validate for your partner – a start to understanding their unique personality that you can continue throughout your relationship.
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Campaigner Qualities to Validate
Spontaneous Engagement
Most Campaigners say that trying something outside of their comfort zone is an important part of their personal growth. It can also stimulate their sense of adventure and discovery, bringing them joy and fulfillment in life. They rarely hesitate to jump into new experiences, waving aside concerns and sometimes dismissing whatever path they were previously on. Those sudden leaps can startle other personality types, with some happily joining in and others giving pause.
As the partner of a Campaigner, you probably know what we’re talking about and have your own set of reactions to their spontaneity. But whether or not you’re as comfortable with impulsiveness as your partner is needn’t determine the message that you give them about that part of their personality. Your partner wants to feel good about who they are, and you can show understanding and acceptance for the way that they make decisions, whether or not you’re equally enthused.
In basic terms, that can look like expressing interest in whatever captures their fancy and trying your best to participate when you reasonably can. If going along with your Campaigner partner’s whims asks too much of you, you can give them the freedom to follow their enthusiasm on their own. And if you think a course of action is genuinely problematic, wait to share your misgivings until after you understand why it’s important to your partner.
You may not have the same impulses as the Campaigner you love, but taking the time to see things through their eyes can show them that you accept what fires them up – or, at least, that you accept that they get fired up about it. The message that their spontaneous way of engaging in life is valid and respectable is a great way to show your Campaigner partner love. It will help them feel comforted when they grapple with the results of impulsive choices and empowered when things go their way.
Boisterous Energy
We don’t need to tell you that your Campaigner partner is one of the most outgoing, energetic personality types – you’ve seen it. They love to interact with their surroundings and other people, and they pursue activities with a certain zestful glee. That can be very fun and inspiring to be around, raising spirits and lending momentum to shared tasks or experiences. However, it can also become chaotic at times or even draining to other personalities, especially Introverts.
Yet it can be a mistake to give your Campaigner partner the message that they should “calm down,” “focus,” or otherwise restrain their energy. That’s like telling the sun not to shine, and you don’t want to be a cloud in your beloved’s sky. Most Campaigners see themselves as lacking enough focus and self-control, and even if that’s true, it’s hurtful when a loved one echoes such self-criticism. Your partner may indeed need to work on how they express their energy, but feeling bad about it won’t help. Validation can.
Validating your partner’s vibrant energy can start with acknowledging what it can accomplish. You can ask supportive questions about their intentions, show interest in what they’re doing, and generally be accepting of their intensity. (You can also show approval when their energy is admirably directed.) Validating your Campaigner partner’s energy also means understanding that when it causes problems, it’s unintentional. Gently observing the effects that their errant vigor creates is usually all that’s needed to help a Campaigner correct an unproductive approach.
Most of all, validating your Campaigner partner’s energy means allowing them to regularly enjoy circumstances where they can express it freely. That could mean a busy social setting, a vigorous activity like a sport, or just the freedom to ramble excitedly to you. When you facilitate the outward expression of your partner’s energy, you show that you understand and accept their personality and needs. (And if you need a break from that “go, go, go” vibe, feel free to voice your own need for peace or solitude now and then.)
Emotional Connection
Given their bright way of expressing themselves, it might be surprising to know that most Campaigners report that they don’t feel enough emotional security. They’re among the personality types most likely to say that feedback from people close to them is very important and positively impacts their personal growth. Campaigners are also the type most likely to say that sharing their life stories with others is very important.
So what does all of that mean? It means that, perhaps more than any other personality type, Campaigners look to their interactions with others as a prime source of validation and fulfillment. Sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences with other people – as well as deep, meaningful communication – feeds their soul. You can probably see this in the way your partner interacts with their friends or even strangers – they’re always seeking a connection.
The good news is that this gives you immense power to support your Campaigner partner’s sense of emotional security, because the feedback that you provide will not be taken lightly. Yet validating this personality aspect may not require much initiative or effort on your part. Your Campaigner partner’s mindset is kind of like social sonar, sending out pulses to discover what comes back. Validating your partner’s need for connection often just means being available to give an understanding, attentive response.
Ideally, your partner likely desires cheerful approval, but that’s not always possible in any relationship (there are always ups, downs, and personality differences). That’s why validation being separate from approval is so valuable. You can validate your partner’s personality-based need to connect by sharing your thoughts and feelings honestly and listening to theirs with understanding and acceptance.
Even when there’s friction between you, one thing that will deeply shake and upset your Campaigner partner is the sense that you’re shutting them out. They’d probably rather have a fight than be pushed away. Validation here is about being open to communication. If you need mental and emotional privacy, let your partner know that you’re taking time to process your thoughts and feelings, but you’re still there for them.
Conclusion: Sharing an Adventure
Campaigners live for interaction, and one of the things that makes them happiest in a romantic relationship is having someone to share joyful experiences with. Although these personality types like to direct their energy outward, nothing is more important to them than the positive feelings that can be shared between two people. These two priorities can sometimes divide their attention. Your partner cares deeply about your happiness and the relationship that you share, but their exuberant engagement with the world around them can seem to pull them away some of the time.
Allowing your Campaigner partner the freedom to chase what fulfills them is one of the greatest gifts that you can give. Second to that might be joining in those pursuits when appropriate. But even if you don’t, simply understanding that your partner’s need to engage with the greater world and other people doesn’t detract from how much they value you is a great way to validate their personality – and make your relationship stronger.