Personality Type and Love Language: Logicians (INTPs)

When it comes to communicating our innermost loving thoughts and feelings, it seems like everyone falls somewhere on a range that spans from “naturally open and expressive” to “minimally demonstrative,” depending on our personality type. In relationships, things can get complicated if you don’t know where both you and your partner fall on this spectrum. The way that we reveal our love for others and our preferences for receiving love in return is often referred to as our love language. We’ve identified seven different ways that people express this most delicate of emotions, which we discuss in this article. Logicians (INTPs) tend to fall on the more reserved side of this emotional communication continuum. As is common with Introverted and Thinking personality types, they tend to shy away from those stereotypical, overt displays of affection that many people expect when it comes to romantic relationships. But behind their discrete nature lie intense feelings of love and admiration for the people closest to them. It’s impossible for us to definitively name the preferred love language of each individual Logician out there. But certain clues pulled from the study of personality theory allow us to gain a reasonable sense of how people with this personality type are likely to engage in the give-and-take of loving expression. How Logicians Show Love Logicians are generally considerate and egalitarian in their relationships. There’s a decent chance that they don’t “keep score” when they voluntarily help their partner, and they are typically good listeners who probably don’t mind if their significant other takes the reins in a conversation. These traits hint at the two principal ways in which Logicians are likely to show their love: through cerebral stimulation and thoughtful actions. Cerebral Stimulation When asked in our “Romance [Everyone]” survey about the first thing that they notice in a potential romantic partner, Logicians are far more likely to choose “intellect” than any other option – including “looks,” “kindness,” “confidence,” and more. It’s highly likely that they enjoy getting into deep conversations with the ones they love. Yes, it’s true that they might not be overly eager to talk about their emotions, but when Logicians love someone, they’re probably going to want to get into that person’s mind through lively cerebral stimulation. Thoughtful Actions People with the Logician personality type are usually quite independent, even within the context of their romantic relationships. This independence can sometimes cause tension for people who feel like they should be able to depend on their Logician partner emotionally, to help them out with life’s demands, or just in the amount of time that they spend together. But this attitude of expectation might cause problems for Logicians as well. They are the personality type most likely to admit that it makes them uncomfortable to know that someone depends on them. So why, then, are thoughtful actions a potential love language? Most Logicians agree that it’s good for their self-confidence to help others, and this likely rings especially true when they love the person they are helping. They may not be entirely comfortable expressing their feelings through words, but willingly lending a hand or sharing their time and knowledge is a surefire sign of their affection. How Logicians Receive Love For some people, especially those with a strong Feeling trait, it can be difficult to know how to articulate love and appreciation to a Logician partner. Overuse of the phrase “I love you” or abundant exclamations of appreciation or adoration could potentially make people with this personality type cringe. And despite the fact that they may show their love through thoughtful actions, they might not appreciate it as much when their significant other decides to “help” them without discussing the matter first. According to our “Affection” survey, nearly 65% of Logicians report that they feel a very low to moderate need to receive affection from others. In that same survey, they also reveal that receiving affection – even when it comes from loved ones – can be uncomfortable. So, seriously, what’s a person to do if they love a Logician? Well, you’ve got to know their love language. Based on data from other surveys, it’s a safe bet that people with this personality type are likely to value recognition and appreciation for who they are and what they do, while cerebral stimulation will keep them feeling connected and engaged with their partner. Recognition and Appreciation Logicians are overwhelmingly likely to feel misunderstood. This is why one of the greatest ways to communicate love for them is to show that you “get” them. This can be done by recognizing and appreciating them for every unique aspect of their personality and all that they bring to the relationship. In a practical sense, this may look like enthusiastically embracing and respecting their independent nature. It could also mean taking the lead on planning an activity – with their input, of course – that they will genuinely enjoy. It is important to remember that, for Logicians, actions are likely to speak louder than words, and words – when spoken – should be sincere, thoughtful, and engaging. Instead of saying, “I really like what you did there!” consider something along the lines of, “That’s fascinating what you did! Could you tell me a little more about the concept?” Statements like this show genuine interest beyond superficial flattery. Remember that any verbal expressions of recognition and appreciation are best given discreetly or, better yet, in private. Logicians probably won’t enjoy public praise, and any flattery given in front of an audience will likely be lost on them. Cerebral Stimulation One of the key ways to show that you really see and appreciate your Logician partner is through intentionally engaging with their active mind. Whether it be about emotional matters or something philosophical or scientific, you will reach deep into their heart when you take the time to ask them what they think and then really pay attention to what they have to say. Make sure to use active listening skills to show interest in understanding their ideas and the thought processes behind them. Conclusion For people who love a Logician, discovering their preferred love language is incredibly helpful for learning how to communicate loving sentiments in a way that will be heard and felt. And knowing how they show love can help avoid hurt feelings or misunderstandings for people looking for reassurance that their affection is mutual. And for Logicians, who may hold back when it comes to talking about their emotions, identifying their preferred love languages can be a game changer that improves understanding and communication with their significant other. Are you a Logician? What would you say is your preferred love language, based on your real-life experience? Let us know in the comments below. Further Reading So You’re Dating a Logician (INTP)Validating Your Logician (INTP) Partner’s PersonalityLove and Thinking Introverts: 7 Ways to Better RomanceStart an intelligent, enjoyable discussion with your partner by trying our free Get to Know Your Partner game.