I Reeeally Don’t Like This Person. Is It Because of Their Personality Type?

Darrell 6 days ago 5 comments

Sure.

I mean, no.

It’s complicated.

So you reeeally don’t like someone and wonder if it’s because of their personality type. It’s difficult to say in some general way how much of a role personality traits, those things that make up the 16 types, play in something like animosity toward someone else. While personality traits likely influence most things that a person does, thinks, or feels, it would be an overreach to call it the singular cause of anything.

Think of it as a filter. Something happens in your world, and you filter it through your personality preferences. An Introvert is given a pile of work to finish. After filtering it through their Introversion, they may find a quiet place to work, despite the option of working with a group. But that’s not all that’s involved.

Our Added-On Features

Your personality traits might pull you in a particular direction. But other things will come into play as well: The perspectives you were raised with. Your values. Your particular interests. Life experiences. And so on. There are things more or less piled on top of your personality traits that make you unique. One Advocate (INFJ) is not exactly the same as every other Advocate. You’re not some stark interpretation of your personality traits. A lot of other factors come into play. Let’s call these other adaptive factors add-ons, just for the duration of this article. The phrase is not part of our theory, but it should do for today.

For example, a Feeling type might discover that the best way to deal with people they manage at work is through tough love. Right or wrong, it might seem to be the only thing that motivates the workers to get things done. In all other aspects of their life, the Feeling person may still use a softer approach and worry about hurting feelings. But in this one area of their life, they add being hard as nails on top of their personality type. The add-on might feel uncomfortable for them at times. But they are willing to suffer a bit of discomfort to survive on the job.

Now, suppose you work for this Feeling person, and you hate it when people act tough. You decide that you really don’t like this manager. Is it their personality type that you dislike?

Another case could be an Introvert who might find that much of what is called Extraverted behavior gets on their nerves. These outgoing people may be too loud, too friendly, too energetic, too…much. It could be anything. So maybe you can find someone insufferable because you just can’t handle the way they express their traits. In this case, it might be fair to say you dislike them because of their personality type.

But wait. Are you likely to feel the same about all people who share that personality type? Or is there just something about this individual that you despise? For example, you might say some Executives (ESTJs) are okay, just not this boisterous Executive you happen to loathe. In this case, your animosity is probably not just about the personality type. It’s probably the product of the person’s add-ons or maybe a mixture of their personality type and add-ons.

So how do we sort all of this out?

Do you dislike this person because of their personality type?

No. Yes. Maybe.

That’s the best answer we can give, considering the complexity of human nature and the nature of personality traits.

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