ISFJ Relationships

When it comes to romantic relationships, ISFJs' kindness grows into a joy that is only found in taking care of their family and home, in being there for emotional and practical support whenever it's needed. Home is where the heart is for people with the ISFJ personality type, and in no other area of their lives do they strive with such dedication to create the harmony and beauty they wish to see in the world.

ISFJ personalityThe trouble is, these are the benefits of an established long-term relationship, and ISFJs' unbearable shyness means it can take a long time to reach this point. ISFJs are most attractive when they are simply being themselves in a comfortable environment such as work, where their natural flow shows this kindness and dedication. Relationships built on established familiarity are a warm prospect for ISFJs – they take dating seriously and only enter into relationships that have a real chance of lasting a lifetime.

Our Upward Course Is Due to Our Soundness of Heart

ISFJs' shyness and sensitivity shield what are, beneath the surface, incredibly strong feelings. While not always obvious to others, this river of emotion can't be taken lightly or for granted – ISFJ personalities can value the idea of committed romance almost as highly as some regard religious beliefs. Hard as it may be, if either dating partner doubts their feelings, they must part ways before real emotional damage is done.

As their relationships do progress, ISFJs often continue to struggle with emotional expression, but they have the opportunity to let physical affection stand in for their loving words. People with this personality type take no greater joy than in pleasing others, often even considering this a personal duty, and this applies to intimacy as well. While dutiful sex may not sound especially attractive in those specific terms, intimacy is tremendously important to ISFJs, and they spare no effort in this department.

Nor is the pleasure they take in ensuring their partners' happiness limited to the bedroom – ISFJs spend an enormous amount of time and energy finding ways to keep their relationship satisfying for their partners. All they ask in return is commitment, love and, perhaps most of all, appreciation.

Like All the Best Families, We Have Our Disagreements...

However, not everyone is prepared to pay even that small price for the benefit of ISFJs' kindness. If their partners aren't willing or able to express this thanks, or worse still are openly critical of their ISFJ partners, they will find that, given time and pressure, all of those repressed emotions can burst forth in massive verbal attacks that all the future regret in the world won't blunt.

These outbursts are something to watch out for, but the more pervasive issue in ISFJs' relationships is that it can be too easy for their altruism and kindness to be taken advantage of, maybe even without their partners realizing it, while leaving ISFJs' own needs and dreams unfulfilled. This is something that ISFJs' partners, and ISFJ personalities themselves, must look after if they want the sort of long, fulfilling relationships they dream about. Expressing appreciation is often more than just the right words, it is reciprocation.

If these couples can manage this balance of mutual appreciation and goal-setting, they will come to find that the best ISFJ qualities emerge later in the relationship, as they work towards establishing families and homes together.

While perfectly capable in the workplace and among friends, ISFJs' true passions lie in taking care of their families, from playing with their children to the mundane needs of the household, efforts ISFJs are only too happy to contribute.

ISFJs are trustworthy, loyal, loving and faithful and nothing brings them more joy than the commitment of an appreciative and thriving relationship. The best matches are those who share these sensibilities, namely those who share the Observant (S) trait, with one or two opposing traits to ensure that both partners have room to grow, develop and help each other along, 'til the end of their days.


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Mar 22, 2015 10:19:45
This is great... You see, what I often do to create realistic people in my books is that I answer the questions in the test the way the character would answer them, and so I'd get a realistic personality to mold my character with. And I have a certain couple in which the girl is an INTJ and the boy is an ISFJ. This works out nicely as she usually expresses her emotions through her honesty in how she feels and compete communication, and yet often forgets to show it, weather by planning a date, giving a gift, or something. Whereas my other love interest is an introvert who cannot express emotions well, but loves interaction with his friends and lover in ithwr ways, such as helping out with work, giving gifts, and so on. Their different types of expressing love for each other works out conveniently well, and I'm glad I've found this site to help me.
Liz Gray
Mar 19, 2015 22:36:48
I have always tested ESTJ - but I have always had a job - usually in leadership when I have done the test. I always tell people that the "E" (extrovert) is a work trait
margie midday
Feb 25, 2015 06:50:47
very me!
Phyllis painter
Feb 22, 2015 08:06:39
When you are a people pleaser people have a tendency to try to use you. I don't like getting mad but sometimes people have no respect or regard for your feelings so unfortunately I will tell you how I feel and it won't be pretty. I love hard but I hate just as hard. Treat me like I treat you and we will all be fine. Don't take my kindness for a weakness because I will explode.
Apr 03, 2015 09:13:35
I am exactly the same. I am so tired of being taken for granted.
Dwight Elliott
Feb 22, 2015 04:53:34
Unbelievably accurate. This is me.
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