INTP Friends

Many of the usual motivations for making friends – emotional support, social validation, shared routine – simply don’t apply to INTPs. More likely, these concepts are met with disdain, as people with the INTP personality type prize intellectual depth above all else. It is not easy to become good friends with INTPs, but if there is a common interest and a common train of thought, the connection is likely to spark instantly, surprising everyone else who thought they had this distant personality type pegged.

INTP friends

Be Slow to Fall Into Friendship...

INTP friendships are knowledge-based, defined by the exchange of ideas, theories, and concepts, and those who aren’t able to keep up with this, or who have sharply differing tastes (don’t talk to INTPs about celebrities) will find stony faces that border on rude. To INTPs, communication is often more of a nuisance than a pleasure, and conversation is reserved for topics that they find meaningful, or for people they already like enough to stick it out.

Unless there’s a natural affinity for this intellectual style, few have the patience to try to penetrate their shields, and INTPs are left with a naturally small circle of good friends.

Other Analyst types are a natural fit for INTPs, who share their passion for new ideas, riddles and solutions. People with the INTP personality type are knowledgeable and intelligent, and have a great deal of respect for those who can keep them on their toes in this regard. They will gladly help to tackle any dilemma thrown their way, offering up sound advice and rational solutions. As valuable as these qualities are though, they are not always the best approach – when it comes to emotional support or advice in dealing with matters of the heart, INTPs are at a loss.

It’s not that INTP personalities don’t feel – quite the contrary, they actually have very strong sentiments. But Feeling (F) is one of INTPs’ least developed traits, making their emotional reactions strong, untrustworthy and naturally in need of being tempered by their well-trained logic and rationalism. Still waters run deep.

...But When in Friendship, Continue Firm and Constant

While they may not be able to help directly with these sorts of problems, INTPs help indirectly with unambiguous and reliable friendships. INTPs’ friends need never worry about power games or emotional baggage – they are liked for their minds and abilities, not their status or possessions. While it may not be easy to establish true friendships with INTP personalities, once the link is made, they will provide years of understanding and thought-stimulating ideas, making them well worth the effort.

1 year ago
I'm an INTP and my two closest friends are an ENTP and another INTP. They've been friends for almost ten years, and I love to mediate their debates, although I guess I'm biased towards the INTP (Of course!). I never thought one of my friends would be of my same personality type, but now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense. Even though we're friends now, we wouldn't have grown close if it weren't for the ENTP, who drew us together. Extroverts can be overwhelming at times for us introverts, but either way my friends are extroverts most of the times because they are the ones who keep the conversation going, care about checking in with me (while I, on the other hand, need a push to check in with anyone), and usually are the ones who initiate contact.
1 year ago
Every thing is soo true here! The sad thing is no one out of 300 people had the passion to be my friend.. Its really disappointing for me, I tried everything I could - forced myself to talk to random people hoping for a success, yet I always failed, I never had anyone to call a friend. Could someone give me some advice? - Fellow INTP
11 months ago
I read this and I was like, "Me too! Why can't I do it if I'm trying?!" The problem is, friendship is not something you can force. If that person doesn't want to be close to you, there is nothing you can do. If they are trying to get close to you but you don't want to (I doubt that somehow by the comment) then there is nothing they can do. But the thing is, people don't approach people with the intention of becoming friends, they approach them because they like them and want to talk to them. My friend (who is a Debater) told me that I'm actually a very fun person to talk to but that I need to open up more. I was confused, I was A LOT more open than I used to be a year ago, yet it wasn't enough? That showed me that friendships need a lot of work than I thought. If you need advice, I think the most important thing is not overdoing it. It wears out both you and the people you want to befriend. Laying your feelings open all the time doesn't work either (because they'll be uncomfortable and you'll probably feel exposed and vulnerable) Just let it go and let things be. If someone doesn't want to be your friend, fine. If someone wants to be your friend, how nice. But forcing yourself to befriend everyone is not the right way. (I tried, it seems everyone is so caught up in their own, already existing relationships that they don't have time to wonder about me) Remember that small talk is only the beginning. Friendships don't happen overnight. You have all the time in the world. I hope you feel better right now (because it seems it's been 8 months since you posted this..) :)
2 years ago
I absolutely love that first sentence. Pure gold. As far as my friends go, this page describes my situation fairly well. Few friends, zero of which are less than great. It's a lot better that way. I'm convinced that all of my current friends are going to lifelong friends.
2 years ago
Yeah, my friend's an INTP (I think from what I'm reading here, it's exactly him), he's incredibly intelligent but is unwilling to put in the hard work he should do truly well at school. I became friends with him because of my intelligence, although I don't have his 'natural talent' as I've learned to call it, I do try very hard at school, studying a lot, which has boosted my academic prowess greatly, I guess my INTP friend was drawn to that. I often have trouble keeping up with his brilliant ideas and theories, though being an ISFJ I place a high value on social harmony and also embrace logic, which I guess makes up for my slowness, as I always just nod my head and agree with my friend, as I know he's 99% of the time correct.
3 years ago
Haha, my friend is an INTP, I'm an INFJ and he's really funny. Happy to have him as a friend
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