INTP Relationships

When it comes to romantic relationships, INTPs have an interesting mixture of traits that often pleasantly surprise their partners. People with this personality type are always full of ideas, but they have few opportunities to explore their more romantic notions. As with any of their theories, INTPs love sharing with others, and in finally meeting someone where romantic thoughts are appropriate, they show themselves to be excited, enthusiastic, and even playful, flirting with word-play and intellectual games.

None of this is to say that these relationships come easily to INTPs – they are shy and withdrawn individuals, and getting out and meeting new people, risking rejection and making themselves the center of attention in emotionally delicate situations are far from being their strengths. It is more likely that INTP personalities will leave a trail of breadcrumbs for a potential partner, allowing them to make the first move and committing to their partner as an act of reciprocation rather than bravado.

Marry! A Good Wife Makes Happiness, A Bad One, Philosophy

From the start, INTPs take their relationships seriously – their imagination and vision, and the challenge of getting to know new people, make them all too aware of how important it is that they’re involved with someone, and they will prove themselves surprisingly loyal. Even early in the dating phase, INTPs are unusually direct and honest, doing their best to express their mindset and create mutual understanding, believing that this shared knowledge will help to minimize misunderstandings and avoid conflict.

As their relationships progress, INTPs’ daily needs prove remarkably simple. Gifts, surprises, complex social plans and date nights are all fairly unimportant to people with the INTP personality type, but this is also one of their chiefest weaknesses – their partner may very much need these things, and it won’t even occur to INTPs to plan them out. For all their analysis and attempts at mutual understanding, INTPs are notoriously bad at picking up on others’ emotional needs.

INTP romantic relationships
When it comes to conflict, there is a certain willful ignorance for INTPs, and they often set aside their partners’ feelings, and their own, for far too long.

When these conflicts do arise and are inescapable, INTPs will do their best to find a logical solution. But this hardly helps if the problem is logic itself, that INTP personalities aren’t meeting their partners’ emotional needs. INTPs should keep this in mind, and try to meet their partners halfway by communicating on an emotional level – if they make this effort, understanding partners will recognize and appreciate the gesture, clumsy though it may be. After all, they need to afford INTPs the same benefit, and meet them halfway with logic and simplicity as well.

Beware the Barrenness of a Busy Life

All this material asceticism and conflict avoidance support one primary goal – to free up mental resources for more important things. INTPs’ creative, vivid imagination make for a surprisingly enthusiastic, passionate, and romantic partner. While INTPs may prioritize their inner world too much, imagining interesting and exciting intimate situations that are never expressed to their partners, they also use this rich inner world to achieve as much as possible in intimacy – they rarely want for ideas.

Physically, intellectually and with a little effort emotionally, INTP relationships are rich and rewarding connections. Partners who share the Intuitive (N) trait are usually best, along with one or two opposite traits to create variety and balance, but so long as INTPs remember that they are with people who have their own, independent wants and needs, and so long as their partners remember the same of their INTPs, these are long-lasting and satisfying relationships.

3 months ago
Wow! When I was reading the romantic relationships, I was basically reading my own story!
4 months ago
Well, now this was a great way to get a little summary of why my girlfriend acts like she does, we both have very different ways of interacting, (I'm an ENFP) yet she and I find our differences to make everything all the more interesting
11 months ago
Nice Diamond Dogs reference!
1 year ago
Now I want to show this to everyone as it does a much better job of explaining me than me stubbling over my scatter brained words every could.
1 year ago
It almost feels like you are saying we will have a tough time because other most people won't be as evolved as us.
1 year ago
Let me correct it, "logically evolved". If you don't consider Art, Love, Affection etc which are, by all means, byproducts of Human sensitivities and momentarily emotions, then you're not evolved properly. Nevertheless, I somehow envy of other personalities especially diplomats and more especially INFJs. After reading these articles I became so frightened of dying in a miserable and lonesome situation, leaving the world offspring-less which, logically speaking, means I wasn't strong enough to continue my genes, i.e. I was a mute slave-bot and thinking-dead to the machinery of nations.
1 year ago
Im totally agree with the reply above me. Im so envy INFJ personality type. And there are 3 people in my social circle with that personality and knowing that they are all great people.
1 year ago
Yeah, they are. I really wish my future husband would be an INFJ... If I would get married (which I'm not sure if I would)
10 months ago
Haha true that. I think it just means that we look into processes more deeply than other personalities, and we have troubles explaining them because other people don’t look as deeply. Sorry if this didn’t explain it, Logician powers sometimes fail me.
1 month ago
I do have INFJ friends, even my ex, and they are awesome. They are really supportive and care about the people, sometimes too much, but yet it's awesome to be their friends.
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