There are many times in life when we have the opportunity (or burden) of meeting new people. These situations can be stressful for some and no sweat for others. Generally, the concern is whether or not the other person likes you, and this is dependent upon the impression you have on them. It sounds simple enough, but some people are very good at hiding their thoughts and feelings, or so it seems to those who struggle to pick up on subtler signs.
To see how good different personalities are at reading others in such situations, we asked our readers whether they agreed or disagreed with the statement “Unless they tell you openly, you can never tell with certainty what kind of impression you leave on other people.” It looks like no one is truly certain of their impression on others, which may be a relief to the rest of us:
Turbulent Introverts showed the most concern, while Assertive Extraverts were the least concerned. But in order to get a better idea of how this social dilemma affects us, let’s dig a little deeper.
Roles
Diplomats and Analysts (68% agreeing)
Diplomats and Analysts agreed in equal measure on the subject, and not just from the perspective of Role groups – individual personality types in these groups showed similar rates of agreement. For example, Logicians (INTP) and Mediators (INFP) had almost identical rates of agreement (with 77% and 78% agreeing, respectively). This gives the impression that neither Thinking nor Feeling lends an advantage when it comes to detecting how one person feels about another.
A majority of both Roles do agree, but it was a slim majority in some cases, like the Protagonists (ENFJ) (56% agreeing). Neither Role wants to say definitively that they made a good impression (or not), because these personalities tend to look a little too deeply into things, and there’s always room for an imperfect impression.
However, looking at the individual personality types, Diplomats were slightly more susceptible to this doubt (with the exception of Protagonists, who balance out the average). Diplomats are more sensitive to social situations than Analysts in many ways. Diplomats feel a little more pressure because they feel the need to make sure everyone is validated. Analysts may not acknowledge that responsibility, because objective facts are what matters, and they aren’t personal. Feelings, however, are definitely personal, and Diplomats take them very seriously.
Explorers and Sentinels (61% and 57%)
On the whole, Explorers and Sentinels were less worried about misinterpreting people’s impressions. Because these personality types are more grounded and tend to live in the present, they may present a better picture of their true selves in a social situation than Diplomats and Analysts, who can get lost in their own thoughts and abstractions. They are also less likely to read too far into someone else’s impressions. Whereas Intuitive types thrive on nuanced interpretations, Explorers and Sentinels prize clarity, and are therefore more likely to find it.
The only real difference between Explorer and Sentinel personalities in this particular case is that Sentinels can (and often do) go into a conversation with a plan, rather than seeing where it takes them. Sentinels likely think that this makes leaving an impression (whether good or bad) more predictable. Because Explorers sometimes jump around a bit, it can be more difficult for them to determine what another person thinks of them.
Strategies
Constant Improvement (80%)
Constant Improvers were very unsure about what sort of impression they leave on people, with 80% agreeing that they don’t know unless they are explicitly told. While these personality types very much prefer to spend their time and energy on their own development, Constant Improvers are also very sensitive to others’ perceptions of them and their abilities. They tend to be self-conscious and very aware that they have a presence, and they may be afraid that that presence isn’t showing them in the best light.
Constant Improvers don’t get as much practice interacting with others as some other Strategies (like People Masters), so they may not be as good at reading people – or rather, they may be unsure that their reads are correct.
Social Engagement and Confident Individualism (67% and 63%)
It’s very interesting to find Social Engagers and Confident Individualists so close together, especially in a scenario that deals with interpersonal communication. Both Social Engagers (67%) and Confident Individualists (63%) have something that gives them an advantage in this regard, and something that throws them off-kilter.
For the most part, Social Engagers have this whole socialization thing figured out. These personality types know how to interact with people and engage them. However, Social Engagers, just like Constant Improvers, are very sensitive to the stress of being judged. In fact, Social Engagers may be more affected by this stress, because they put that much more emphasis on other people’s opinions. They want to be cool and calm when meeting new people, but they still have a strong desire to be well-liked. This can lead Social Engagers to focus a little too much on what people might think about them, causing them to occasionally get bogged down in constructing ideal reactions.
Confident Individualists also seem to have things figured out, to a certain extent. They still agree in the majority with the statement, but the distinction lies in the fact that these personalities aren’t too worried about those impressions. The most important thing, to them, is what they think of themselves. But at the same time, since Confident Individualists don’t lead social lives as varied as Extraverts tend to, they aren’t as skilled at reading people. It’s just a matter of practice. So, while they may not care what someone thinks of them – most of the time – in cases where they do want to make a good impression, Confident Individualists can’t really tell if they have.
People Mastery (40%)
People Masters have the advantageous qualities of both Social Engagers and Confident Individualists. These personalities are very comfortable interacting with other people, and it rarely bothers them if someone doesn’t like them. But there’s a little more to them in regard to this topic. People Masters know people – how they move, how they react, how they hide things – and People Masters are adept at reading others. Whether they leave a good impression or a bad one, these personality types don’t need to be told. They can tell exactly what’s going on from the reactions of the person standing in front of them.
Conclusions
When it comes to social situations and making an impression, most people aren’t sure what’s going on in the other person’s head and heart – and really, that’s to be expected. Reading people is not an easy skill to master. There are some personality types who are pretty sure what mark they leave, though. Their experience with people, their calm swagger, and their ability to stay grounded in the conversation gives them an advantage on this front. Assertive Executives (ESTJ-A) and Consuls (ESFJ-A) have this covered. These two personality types had the lowest rate of agreement, with 36% and 35% agreeing, respectively. Making an accurate read and thinking you’ve made an accurate read are two very different things, but these Sentinels, as is their custom, act as role models.
When it comes to making a good impression on others, the best advice may also be the simplest: be present, be honest, and be yourself. Then you can be sure what kind of impression you leave, good or bad. If you’re going to be judged, it may as well be for who you really are.
Do you usually know if you’ve made a good or bad impression on someone? How important is it to you? Leave a comment and let us know!